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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what you think about people with disabilities buying sex

537 replies

huha · 19/05/2018 06:01

Here is a link: tlc-trust.org.uk

I personally was at first 😲😲😲 but now am thinking 🤔...maybe this is a good thing?? AIBU?

OP posts:
Petalflowers · 21/05/2018 08:26

The question should be “what do you think about people buying sex”?

BeyondPink · 21/05/2018 08:26

Autism is not an example of a disability that leaves a person completely unable to find a partner and yet also able to profess a wish for and consent to buying sex. If someone is capable of asking for and using a prostituted woman, they are capable of getting online and meeting people. If they are not capable of that, I am concerned about the extent to which they have the capacity to ask for sex.

Again, I am autistic and I have met people online. I know what I am talking about.

Caribou58 · 21/05/2018 08:42

No-one is entitled to a woman's body. For me this is just another line on the continuum of entitlement, with incels at the other end.

This. It doesn't make the exploitation of women right, just because the person paying is disabled. A fair number of non-disabled people can't find a partner - them exploiting women isn't acceptable, either.

SilverDoe · 21/05/2018 08:42

Wtf are you on OP?

If it really is a “fact”, show me a law, in any country, anywhere, that states it is a legal right for anyone to have access to sex. I await patiently.

Also, finding someone who agrees that this thing might be good for someone, does not make it a fact that it’s a right, not that is should be a right. Sex might benefit people but it does not and cannot mean it is demanded, for anybody

Get a grip, please.

SilverDoe · 21/05/2018 08:47

Sorry that should say “nor that it should be a right”

Goldmonday · 21/05/2018 09:32

Sex is a human right...... so anyone saying no to sex is violating your human rights??? So people can be prosecuted for saying NO?!

OP you really have no idea what you are talking about.

Dietcokebreak1 · 21/05/2018 11:14

Saying sex is a right is going back to the mentality that if your wife doesn't put out you can rape her - which was legal until not that long ago.

No one has a right to someone else's body, whether that is their wife, a boyfriend or a prostitute.

We all have a right to purse a physical relationship with a consenting partner but that does not give us a right to that partner or their body.

There have been some disgusting comments on this thread. As people have said if disabled people want sex let's help them meet partners through socialisation and dating so they can have consentual relationships. Not through the abuse of other humans.

DailyMailClickbait · 21/05/2018 11:18

Sex is a human right in the sense that one has the right to want, to consent to and to engage in sex, and should not be penalised or prejudiced for doing so.

This does not remove the right to obtain your sexual partner's willing consent, nor does it permit you to harass people for sex.

You have do not have an entitlement to sex - otherwise that essentially gives you legal dominion over someone else's body without their consent.

With reference to sex workers and choice, I most certainly do not judge people who choose to engage in sex work. But very often it's not the nuanced choice that people would happily believe - the myth of the "happy hooker" is pervasive and extremely damaging. How many sex workers do you know who sat at school and dreamed of trading their bodies for money? I suspect that number would be vanishingly small.

Finally, how does demanding equality and respectful treatment of women reconcile with buying them for sex? As a society if you are keeping a group of women as sexual objects, literally just temporary vessels for a stranger's physical needs, then how does this align with educating men and raising boys and teens to view women as people? Either you can't uphold your philosophy that women deserve not to be sexualised and objectified, or you have to "other" sex workers and give out the message that it's OK to sexualise and objectify some women because they've chosen to allow it. Neither work.

BertrandRussell · 21/05/2018 12:39

Prostitution=trafficking

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2018 13:29

Beyond Pink you may be autistic but what do you know? Are you Professor Dodgy from Agenda University?

BeyondPink · 21/05/2018 13:30

Dammit, now you've outed me! Grin

IMightMentionGriddlebone · 21/05/2018 13:43

I'd like to join the chorus of autistic women who are utterly fucked off that our condition is being appropriated by an apologist for sexual exploitation.

But if sex is a right for us all, presumably you, OP, will be volunteering to shag me, in the event I divorce?

StealthPolarBear · 21/05/2018 13:46

There's no volunteering about it is there. It's your RIGHT along with air and food.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 21/05/2018 13:50

I'm thinking I might have the husband mysteriously "disappear" under the patio, so I can utilise my newfound right to sex.

SilverDoe · 21/05/2018 14:37

StealthPolarBear I’m confused, are you saying that sex is a right?

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 21/05/2018 14:38

silver

No she isnt Smile

IMightMentionGriddlebone · 21/05/2018 14:38

Silver Stealth is joining in with me on taking the piss out of the OP.

Moonkissedlegs · 21/05/2018 14:41

sex is a basic human right

Ummm, no honey.

Dietcokebreak1 · 21/05/2018 14:43

"Sex is a right"

Said every rapist ever

SilverDoe · 21/05/2018 14:45

Thank you, I did think so, that’s why I was confused Grin

Teacuphiccup · 21/05/2018 14:54

Why are women always being asked to give up their rights just because a man has a hard life?

If women want to have sex with people with disabilities as a service or good deed then no one is stopping them, but they don’t want to do they, it’s a way to get money.

Women’s bodies should never ever be for sale, we are people not items to be bought.

JacquesHammer · 21/05/2018 14:57

I think sex is a right for everyone, you have the right to desire sex, to have consensual sex

What isn’t a basic human right is to demand someone sells their body to you for you to act upon your desire

busybarbara · 21/05/2018 14:57

I think a key element of any answer to this is if the person has a disability that can be passed on genetically. If so, do you think they should be allowed to have sex in case something actually happens?

Teacuphiccup · 21/05/2018 15:00

I think a key element of any answer to this is if the person has a disability that can be passed on genetically. If so, do you think they should be allowed to have sex in case something actually happens?

Pardon???

That’s not the same thing at all. That is questioning whether people with genetic diseases should be allowed to have sex with a consensual partner in case they pass on the disease, that’s very sailijgnvery close to eugenics.
We can’t stop people enjoying sex just because they have a disease.

We can however say that it’s not ok to buy consent in any situation

BeyondPink · 21/05/2018 15:08

Even if anybody was getting into that dodgy area... Sex - procreation and sex - recreation are different things.
As are sex - consensual and sex - coerced (inc with money)

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