To wonder what you think about people with disabilities buying sex

[huha]

Here is a link: tlc-trust.org.uk

I personally was at first 😲😲😲 but now am thinking 🤔...maybe this is a good thing?? AIBU?

If your client lacks mental capacity, the mental capacity required for consent to sex is not at a high level, and it should not be assumed that any person lacks it.

That’s extremely disturbing. I work in clinical trials and the procedures for informed consent are incredibly strict. Sometimes we do need a patient pool that is unable to consent (Alzheimer’s for example) and in that case each person must still assent, and have a competent caregiver who consents. There are very strict rules around consent.

Consent is NOT a default - that bolded statement implies default consent to sex and it’s disturbing. This could leave someone open to abuse.

@Bowlofbabelfish exactly. And that statement is copied directly from the website. It's on the front page for everyone to see. This callousness regarding consent tells me all I need to know.

I think some of those advocating prostitution is ok as helps the disabled are really naive about the underlying motivation of people who use prostitues.

Consider lots of men do not use prostitutes. Some would never dream of it. And some who attempt to can never 'get it up' after paying for it. Why?

Because men who use prostitues often aren't just after sex. They want sex in a situation that makes them feel powerful. Paying for it gives them that feeling of power. So sure they want a sexual release, but plenty of men are highly sexed and deal with it. You don't go with a prostitute if you really want intimacy and get off on your partner really enjoying it too.

No they don't just want a release, they want the feeling of subjugating a woman. So all this talk about needing sex is bollox in the context of a lot of healthy bloodied men wanting sex and hey ho....managing to avoid using a woman as a cum dump.

An hour out of your week and you could probably give a happy ending to 4 dissabled individuals

Is that how long it takes?

Poor dh im easily bored

Can I just point out that the "organization" posted is publicly funded. Presumably this means they aren't engaging in illegal activity.

I googled sex surrogate as this is the term I heard that peaked my interest originally. A sex surrogate teaches (?) individuals with disabilities about intimacy, which I think includes having sex.

I am particularly interested in males and females with developmental disabilities, particularly autism. One of the defining characteristics of autism is lack to social skills. Many many individuals with ASD I have come across as adults are using dating websites to meet strange men/women, meeting up with them, and having sex with them. Obviously I am not throwing all individuals with ASD in one pot here, especially as it's a spectrum, however I am finding that more and more higher functioning individuals are desperate and resorting to these measures. They obviously want to have sex, know where to find it, but don't fully understand the repercussions of their Behaviour. Nor do they have the skill set to have a proper intimate relationship. They are literally in a grey area.

Read the post from the woman saying she was coerced into providing this service. It’s not ok to take that risk. The desires of a disabled person or anyone else does not override the safety and bodily autonomy of women.

It’s the same as anyone able bodied paying for it. Fucking vile. As someone said, you can’t buy consent.

It's prostitution. So it's disgusting. Just because it's for disabled people it doesn't mean it's doing the world good, it's still just as vile as it is in any other circumstance.

Can't believe the amount of people referring to it as a "profession" or "business transaction"

Being a drug dealer is a profession so are we ok with that?! Ffs

Antique singer.
That is the most sexiest thing I have seen on this site.

How patronising. Yes it would be a better world if people with disability were not considered worthless. Anyone can become disabled, often their partners stay with them. If people were viewed differently then it would be easier to make relationships.
Prostitution is illegal except where women work alone. Brothels are not allowed in uk, nor are women allowed to work together. This makes it dangerous for client and worker, either can be abused by pimp, ripped off or attacked. Risk of disease, and emotional abuse
Plenty of people lack social skills and relationship expertise, lots of them find someone to put up with them. If people have capacity to make choices about dating they can, if not they should be protected and supported.
I have knowledge of a care home who could not deal with disinhibited behaviour and wanted client to go to prostitution to manage this. A person who did not want a prostitute but was overfriendly with people he knew. Would only make things worse. Was moved to place with appropriate boundaries, problem solved. So demeaning and lazy, he knew how to sort himself out and had a lock on his door.

I am autistic. I have had sex with random people back when I was younger and single. Still don't agree with the idea of people buying sex. As I said, it is perfectly possible to meet someone online when you have social issues.

I don't see how you are logically tallying autistic people meeting others online for sex with disabled people having access to prostitutes?

• consenting sex.

Therein lies the big, big difference that is fucking miles outside of any "grey area"

Babelfish, the poster is talking about capacity, which is assumed. People can be helped to express their wishes, consent is not assumed.
Oh except for young women with learning difficulties who are routinely abused, and given contraceptives with dubious consent, so they can be abused without consequence instead of being protected and supported

It's like the complete antithesis of forced sterilisation years ago.

"We know that was wrong, so to address it we will swing miles in the opposite direction and still make assumptions about what disabled people want"

Babelfish, the poster is talking about capacity, which is assumed.

How is capacity relevant though? To be blunt a corpse has the capacity. A person in a coma has capacity. consent is what’s key - and someone without mental capacity to consent cannot consent regardless of capacity. The poster references consent.

Agree totally about young women :(

Precisely AntiqueSinger

I always roll my eyes in debates about prostitution when people try to bring up “but what about poor lonely souls who can’t be intimate with someone without paying for it”

Paying a stranger to have sex with you is the polar fucking opposite of intimacy and closeness. You are going in with the full knowledge that this person would not go near you without the money you are offering; on top of that I don’t actually believe for a second that any man that has actually used a prostutute believes that that woman is there of her own happy accord. I also completely agree about the power thing. So posters like larry and those of his ilk, please stop pretending that use of prostitutes is the little mutually enjoyable, clean and professional transaction you have deluded yourself into believing it is.

You are going in with the full knowledge that this person would not go near you without the money you are offering; on top of that I don’t actually believe for a second that any man that has actually used a prostutute believes that that woman is there of her own happy accord.

couldn't you say that about many jobs?

Surely letting someone inside your body is a little bit different to painting their nails...

And by not being their of their own happy accord, I don’t mean they’d rather be at home with a cup of tea watching TV.

I mean the reasons they are likely in that profession are, well do we need to discuss this again? Do you really need to be so obtuse as to completely ignore the reality of why women are prostitutes?

I mean the reasons they are likely in that profession are, well do we need to discuss this again? Do you really need to be so obtuse as to completely ignore the reality of why women are prostitutes?

Lots of people do things that are dangerous and they would rather not do but for the pay. You have a hard case to make that it's the most dangerous job (I can think of many that are more). People rarely do these jobs because they like them.

I imagine there is a whole host of reasons why people become prostitutes, many of which are unpleasant.

But making it illegal for people to do it, just seems to make things a lot worse. Furthermore, it doesn't address the problem that, for the women doing it, it is their best current choice (as expressed by the fact that they are still doing it).

There are of course lots of problems with it. And I know that a system permissive of prostitution also comes with many problems. But so does prohibition.

This is uncomfortable reading - basically an escort site pretending to be something else

Sorry, but I can't quite explain how angry I am to see my condition (autism) being used as an excuse to justify the necessity of prostitution. What the actual fuck OP?

on top of that I don’t actually believe for a second that any man that has actually used a prostutute believes that that woman is there of her own happy accord.

Oh, plenty of them believe it. If she's good at her job, she'll make him believe it, and he'll somehow hold on to this belief even while he pays her. Plenty of them believe it. But that doesn't make it true.