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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry at DM for mocking me

118 replies

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 11:45

So this incident just happened. I took a parcel to the post office for DM I walked to the post office takes about 5 mins. As I was approaching the shops this man walks past with a bike. He instantly made me feel uncomfortable, had a bad look on his face. Behind him was an old lady who looked uncomfortable and then a lady from the shops rushed out to talk to her. I had a feeling they were talking about that guy.
So I walk in post the parcel, come out and start walking back. I turn down my DM road and this guy is standing a bit of the way down with his bike. I felt like something weren't right so I quickly turned around and went back to the shops.
I stood outside and called my DM to pick me up but as I put the phone down this guy had followed me back to the shops stared at me then sloped down the side of the shops. I went inside and asked the lady if she had spoke to the older lady about it. She said yes. And I told her he had just followed me. She went to go get someone and they had words with him outside. Que my DM turns out and is kind of laughing at me, thinking in being silly and over the top. She said she hasn't brought the car but walked and I said well that's the point I didn't want to walk back as he would see where you lived.
He began walking off in the direction we were going, we waited and then began walking and then again he stood turned around and started walking towards us. I wanted to tell the shop staff but she brushed it off and said let's just go into this other shop. He walked past and then we quickly walked back to DM.

I felt so angry with her for just brushing it off like it was nothing. Trying make me feel like I was being silly. I told her she always does this, always minimising. I said just because you didn't feel threatened doesn't mean I don't. She just laughed again. So AIBU to be angry at her for reaction that way.

Sorry for the long post! Didn't want to drip feed

OP posts:
Aridane · 18/05/2018 11:48

I would probably be more inclined to think as your mother does BUT I would not laugh at or mock your fear

Brunsdon1 · 18/05/2018 11:50

OP I think you sound frustrated with your Mum which I can entirely understand and if she minimises constantly that is a problem with the relationship you have every right to be upset about

Ultimately if you feel threatened fair enough

The only thing I would say is it's not clear from the post why you felt threatened ? All I can see is a bad look and where he went

But if you felt it you felt it and it's not pleasant for someone you're close to to be so dismissive

SpandexTutu · 18/05/2018 12:10

I guess if you wanted some support from her (I imagine you were quite upset by this) but she was just dismissive, that would make you feel like crap. So YANBU.

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 12:13

The reason I felt threatened is because he had seen me and followed me back to the shops and then went down the side as if I couldn't see him waiting around. You know when you get an uneasy feeling about someone. And I weren't the only one to notice.

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 18/05/2018 12:14

I’m not sure I understand - you, as an adult, called your mother to come and get you because you didn’t like the look on a guy’s face? If he was already on her road when you turned down it, and he walked off first in that direction, maybe he just lived that way? Confused

Highhorse1981 · 18/05/2018 12:15

Pretty much all your posts and threads you’ve started are aboutyou feeling angry or pissed or frustrated at someone

I reckon your DM is just sick of the drama of it all and choosing to laugh rather explode!

Melliegrantfirstlady · 18/05/2018 12:15

I would have called the non emergency police. If the situation was as exactly as you have described.

He sounds either dangerous or someone with MH problems

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 12:16

He turned around and followed me! As I said above it weren't just a look he gave me. And what is wrong with calling me DM to pick me up in a car so I don't have to be alone?

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 18/05/2018 12:17

Well, you’re an adult. And it was broad daylight. And this man hadn’t actually done anything. So it is a bit daft.

Springnowplease · 18/05/2018 12:17

Good grief, OP. What a lot of fuss about nothing.

AgentProvocateur · 18/05/2018 12:20

You’d have called the non-emergency police because someone “had a bad look on their face” and was hanging about shops in broad daylight? Hmm

OP, unless there’s a huge backstory and you’re about to say you’re 10, YABU.

Highhorse1981 · 18/05/2018 12:21

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stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 12:21

Ok so if I was over reacting why were the shop staff concerned and spoke to the other older lady? One of the men who spoke to him said he seemed like he was on drugs.

And just because it's broad daylight what that means no one will commit a crime? How ridiculous!

OP posts:
IleDeRe · 18/05/2018 12:21

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IleDeRe · 18/05/2018 12:22

So what if he was on drugs?

That doesn't mean he's going to hurt anyone.

If anything, he'd be too high to remember where you lived anyway.

Highhorse1981 · 18/05/2018 12:22

If I was your mother, I wouldn’t have laughed at you.

I would have been concerned at the at the way my daughter in her late twenties is living her life. Seeing shadows around every corner and looking for the negative in everything.

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 12:23

catalogue of being pissed off with people over tribal stuff
Oh what like having my drink spiked? Wouldn't call that trival

I felt threaten I'm not asking if you would or not. I'm asking if I should feel annoyed at DM for minimising my feelings

OP posts:
Furano · 18/05/2018 12:24

Do you have MH issues OP that mean you might blow things out of proportion?

Furano · 18/05/2018 12:25

Drinks spiked, men following you. Quite a dangerous place you live in.

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 12:25

Sorry but have you read my post. He followed me and was hanging around. It weren't just him looking at me

OP posts:
stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 12:26

You're all nasty pieces of work! So what if I do or don't have MH issues. I felt threatened end of

OP posts:
IleDeRe · 18/05/2018 12:27

I'm asking if I should feel annoyed at DM for minimising my feelings

I think you need to work out why other people - your mother and Mumsnet posters - are "minimising your feelings"?

I think it's very likely that the reason you feel this way is that you get paranoid about tiny things that seem ridiculous to other people.

You clearly have a tendency for blowing things out of proportion and seeing danger in every shadow.

Perhaps you should address that first. This is a problem with you, not your mother.

RadioGaGoo · 18/05/2018 12:29

Hold up. Its more than just a strange expression though, isn't it? He followed her and stared her out. Not unreasonable to feel rattled about that.

IleDeRe · 18/05/2018 12:29

From your post it doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. He might be autistic/have learning difficulties, or be on drugs, or whatever, but walking around, changing direction and having a strange look on your face is not a crime.

I also see no evidence of him following you before you announced that he was to the ladies in the shop.

onalongsabbatical · 18/05/2018 12:31

Even people 'on drugs' have to go to the shops and buy bread etc, you know, and have a perfect right to. I mean this kindly, OP, but you do sound irrationally fearful and like you could do with a bit of help - medication or therapy. Maybe your mum finds it hard to deal with your fears and needs to laugh them off as a form of self-protection?

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