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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry at DM for mocking me

118 replies

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 11:45

So this incident just happened. I took a parcel to the post office for DM I walked to the post office takes about 5 mins. As I was approaching the shops this man walks past with a bike. He instantly made me feel uncomfortable, had a bad look on his face. Behind him was an old lady who looked uncomfortable and then a lady from the shops rushed out to talk to her. I had a feeling they were talking about that guy.
So I walk in post the parcel, come out and start walking back. I turn down my DM road and this guy is standing a bit of the way down with his bike. I felt like something weren't right so I quickly turned around and went back to the shops.
I stood outside and called my DM to pick me up but as I put the phone down this guy had followed me back to the shops stared at me then sloped down the side of the shops. I went inside and asked the lady if she had spoke to the older lady about it. She said yes. And I told her he had just followed me. She went to go get someone and they had words with him outside. Que my DM turns out and is kind of laughing at me, thinking in being silly and over the top. She said she hasn't brought the car but walked and I said well that's the point I didn't want to walk back as he would see where you lived.
He began walking off in the direction we were going, we waited and then began walking and then again he stood turned around and started walking towards us. I wanted to tell the shop staff but she brushed it off and said let's just go into this other shop. He walked past and then we quickly walked back to DM.

I felt so angry with her for just brushing it off like it was nothing. Trying make me feel like I was being silly. I told her she always does this, always minimising. I said just because you didn't feel threatened doesn't mean I don't. She just laughed again. So AIBU to be angry at her for reaction that way.

Sorry for the long post! Didn't want to drip feed

OP posts:
TheFirstMrsDV · 18/05/2018 14:01

This reply has been deleted

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Dwellerfromunderthesink · 18/05/2018 14:04

TheFirstMrsDV this thread has absolutely nothing to do with race. I can’t see it’s relevance here at all. And to taunt a poster with “Being scaees of the darkies” is ridiculous and random.

Mitzimaybe · 18/05/2018 14:04

OP I haven't read your other posts so don't have that context. Purely from what you have posted in this one, taking it as a one-off, your spidey senses were tingling and other people's had been triggered by him too. You were right to trust them (better safe than sorry) and your mum was a bit harsh to laugh at you.

However if you regularly feel like this about various men then that would suggest you're hypervigilant and seeing danger when there isn't any.

Dwellerfromunderthesink · 18/05/2018 14:04

Being scared, that should read.

TheFirstMrsDV · 18/05/2018 14:09

Dwellerfromunderthesink
unlike that poster's full tilt batshit post directed at me?

Trusting your gut' does have something to do with race. Its excuses all kinds of prejudice.

But tbh I only mention it because I want to show off about how diverse my family is.
Check out my history. I do it ALL the time.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 18/05/2018 14:09

What. The. Fuck.

MirriVan · 18/05/2018 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitzimaybe · 18/05/2018 14:17

TheFirstMrsDV, have I missed where the OP mentions the creepy man's skin colour? Why are you bringing racism into it when we don't know his race?

stripesandspots10 · 18/05/2018 14:18

In my PPs I have not mentioned anything about being fearful of anyone else. In a day to day basis I am not fearful of anyone. So for you to take judgement and try to push that upon me is unfair. Alot of you are trying to portray me as unstable which i am not. I have depression like alot of people do.
As you weren't there and didn't see the string of events then I guess I was being unreasonable to ask for opinions as the context of.my post has been twisted. I don't think I explained it very well anyway. I'm leaving this discussion here.

OP posts:
Feelslikecrystal · 18/05/2018 14:19

You're awful MrsDV. Scared of the darkies? What on earth???????? I'm sure you'd be running up and down screaming racism if anyone else used that kind of foul terminology. Catch yourself on & see your double standards.

TheFirstMrsDV · 18/05/2018 14:19

Ah its ok Mirri
this place is full of trolls with grudges against regulars.
I am hardly here these days but the fact I used to be & mention 'things' is enough to make me a target.

I couldn't possibly care about these things. Its all for the showing off.

TheFirstMrsDV · 18/05/2018 14:21

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Feelslikecrystal · 18/05/2018 14:25

Resorting to name calling ain't cool. Just pointing out that almost every time you post it gets reduced to racism, disablist or whatever, you're doing yourself an injustice here!

SemperIdem · 18/05/2018 14:26

Op - yabu to be annoyed at your mum.

Crystals

You’re a peach Confused

TheFirstMrsDV · 18/05/2018 14:29

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Bluntness100 · 18/05/2018 14:30

I also to be honest don't feel the op was in any way being racist or disabilist so I'm unsure why it has raised its head. It was not the context here in any way shape nor form.

YouAreNotImportant · 18/05/2018 14:34

MrsDV was making a valid point about these situations in general not specific to this one.

It's extremely rare that anyone has a 'bad' feeling about a complete stranger in the street when that strange

MightyMucks · 18/05/2018 14:34

OP, it really does sound like anxiety. Just from reading your other posts, when something happens which unsettles you, your mind seems to go twenty to the dozen and jump to the worst possible conclusion, your drinks are being spiked, your neighbour is stalking you and looking at you.

Yes, it feels absolutely real when you first begin to suffer with it, but it can be dealt with.

Could you try talking to your Mum and seeing if she has noticed your anxiety levels going up?

Feelslikecrystal · 18/05/2018 14:34

I'm clearly not right on enough to get it. I should bow to your superiority. How ridiculous.

MsDugong · 18/05/2018 14:35

YANBU - it sounds as though he was loitering and following you in a way that concerned you and others. Your mother laughing that off was not helpful, even if she disagreed about the matter.

The attitude of other posters in here towards you and your mental health (and mental health generally) is absolutely disgusting. This thread is a prime example of the prejudice, ignorance, and stigma associated with mental health issues. Just because you have depression, it doesn't mean your judgement in every single situation is impaired. It is not okay for others to mock you or to bring your posting history or health up as a way to discredit your feelings.

YouAreNotImportant · 18/05/2018 14:35

Stranger isn't 'different' to them in some way.

TheFirstMrsDV · 18/05/2018 14:38

Bluntness100
I wasn't talking to the OP
I was responding to the the posters who were telling her to 'trust her gut' regardless.
Its hardly going to help her manage her anxiety & it does excuse the prejudices of others.
I won't apologise for pointing that out.
Its repeated often here as if its a universal truth.

MightyMucks · 18/05/2018 14:40

The attitude of other posters in here towards you and your mental health (and mental health generally) is absolutely disgusting

ODFOD. Depression and anxiety are frequently comorbid and the OP being told to ‘follow her gut’ is absolutely fucking destructive advice when we know the OP has depression and she’s posted repeatedly over the last few weeks about believing people have it in for her or are stalking her.

saiya06 · 18/05/2018 14:41

Encouraging the OP to distance herself from her mother over this is actually dangerous and irresponsible. She's really not well (based on her posts).

user1492958275 · 18/05/2018 14:43

Technically he just done what you had done, you was walking somewhere and turned around and went back.

He was walking somewhere turned around and walked back.

It does seem a bit dramatic of you to expect a lift from such a close space that your mum could walk there so quickly, she still came to help you so don't really think it's worth while being angry with her. I wouldn't get in the car for the sake of a minutes drive, if I can walk there in under 5!

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