DP being gifted £300k as FTB

[Raraoh]

In a fairly new relationship (1 year) and DP early 30s is house hunting and wants my input. Just found out his budget - he is a FTB, London-based with a 300k deposit. Genuinely gobsmacked.

wharf house

I think we need a bit more info here. Does he want input about:

• If he wants a house or flat?
• What area he wants to live in?
• About the process of buying a place?
• How to choose a solicitor?
• What's a reasonable bid to put in?

etc

Do you live in London OP ?

Understand you feel blindsided and wanting to talk about this. Have fun looking for possibilities. There is a guide to costs of living along each main line training and tube line, might be worth a google. I would certainly start with his likely area of work, and work out from there.

If your relationship remains good, it will most likely be all good. Please bear with me though while i mention some of the potential downsides, based on my own experience. You may get used to living in a nicer than otherwise house / neighbourhood , you may find yourself on a slow slide to an somewhat unequal relationship. You may find yourself considering the loss of tbe house and lifestyle in circumstance where it would ultimately be better if you could take a more dispassionate view of the relationship.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Understand where you're coming from OP. I remember feeling equally blindsided when DP asked me to move in with him and I sat down to discuss how we'd split bills etc. Turns out he owned the house outright thanks to a trust fund and as such didn't want any contribution from me as in his words he'd be paying bills whether I lived there or not.

I remember going through a stage of being really frustrated as it didn't fit my ideal of saving up together to buy a place so I do get why you might be feeling a bit odd about it all.

FWIW we've now lived here years, totally renovated the place ourselves and outside of feeling really fortunate I barely think about it these days.

But tangled are you actually saving for your financial assets? So if your relationship fails YOU are financially sound?

Has probate been granted?

It must have been if he’s got the money!

Your poor boyfriend OP. Awful way to come In to money. But property is a good use of it.

Take a look at places in Ealing borough. Some are near picadilly line, others central or district/circle line. Good areas for couples and families. Crossrail will probably drive prices up. Road links good as well as public transport. Nice parks and green spaces. Plenty of properties within the budget.

How long has he known he’d get £300,000 when he turned 30?

If he’s only recently found out, I’d suggest waiting a while until he makes any decisions.

He needs to think about where his life is going and what he wants to do, where he really wants to live, whether he wants a family etc. It’s ok if he’s still not sure after he’s thought about it, he can buy something to suit him now and sell later as long as he sees the ‘money’ as the inheritance from his parents and not the property he buys (ie. he feels he’s taking his inheritance with him and his parents are still helping him iyswim).

If he’s know this for a long time and definitely wants to buy a place in London he needs to go and see a variety of places and areas then narrow it down. It’s impossible to properly search ‘anywhere in London, any size, any type’.

I think you need to have a very open discussion with him about where your relationship is going and what would happen IF you decided to live together. There’s no point in him buying somewhere in x place that you hate, if he hopes you will live there with him sometime in the future. But likewise there’s no point in him buying a family home on the outskirts if he sees himself living a ‘dating’ lifestyle close to the city.

It will change your relationship and you need to talk about that.

I'd suggest he buys the best place he can afford in the best area as central as possible then he'll take in money if he sells in future - good for him . I say this as this is what a colleague advised me when I was looking . Of course property prices in London have gone up so much I can't upsize to a terraced house in the same road now .

OP - I find it really tasteless that you come on social media all starry eyed over your DP of one years inheritance. It's like YOU think you've won the lottery. The thread says a lot about you I'm afraid.
I wish your DP luck. Show him the thread btw, can't imagine he'd been too chuffed.

@greenlanes Of course! Essentially we agreed early doors that I would put the money I wasn't spending on rent and bills into a savings fund that we dip into ad-hoc for fun stuff and will eventually go towards our next house, although admittedly some of this money will now go towards our wedding next spring. I'm also on the deeds of the house now after helping add significant value so I think I'm as covered as I can be in such a setup.

I earn a decent salary and was capable of living independently before DP so if it all ended tomorrow I'd be emotionally a lot worse off but financially I'd be fine.

Come and post on the property board if you have any practical questions etc Op. you won’t face the vitriol then. There’s a lot to think about and it is nerve wracking for first time buyers

My advice is that you get a "prenup" so that his money is safeguarded as this is a very new relationship and you don't seem that mature if I'm being honest. You'll need to take insurance advice in case one of you dies so might as well have this conversation now.
For your benefit, I wouldn't want you to be in a situation where he plops in the inheritance and then expects you to pay a disproportionate amount of the bills, unless you own the house 50-50.

This is all very boring, but property and money is boring and you need to have the paperwork in place for peace of mind so you can enjoy the relationship.

Good luck

I like a chat about property as much as the next person, but unless the OP is an estate agent or independent financial advisor (left it v late to disclose that) most people would politely decline the DP's request to help! What if the places she chooses slide into negative equity or are shrouded in covenants? He needs to take proper independent financial advice. To me, at best this comes across as jumping on the cash bandwagon. I'm surprised at the enthusiasm of lots of posters to engage in this thread.

I get it. I'd be weirded out too. Youve been with someone for a year, you find out they've got a large amount of money. Money can change things. It's tied to a lot of emotional issues. Good luck op. Perhaps you can talk to your DP about how it feels at some point.

why don't you buy together as a way to help get your foot on the ladder? He stumps up the deposit and you contribute to the mortgage. When the house is sold, he'll get his deposit back and a proportion of the house and you'll also own a small stake which will importantly will have gained in value.
Even if the worst happened and you split, as long as it's all contracted first there is no reason for any animosity, it's quite straight forward.

Of course you would both lose out if it lost value but that's a risk you take and unlikely anyway in London.

I think unless he has the ability to get a crazy mortgage, you’d be better either looking at the commuter belts, as he’d get much more for his money. Or look at auctions which can be seem amazing, but you rarely know what you’re really buying.

If he’s ok with an hours commute you could possibly get more for your money.

Are you moving in with him? Or merely going that’s nice dear, when he’s looking at Rightmove?

Are you worried that it’s going to affect your relationship down the line? That you won’t be on an equal footing? Did you know about the wealth when you got together or were first together.

I understand it can seem overwhelming possibly, that he’s been gifted that much, but if it’s from a death etc, it’s not really oh I’m just a common girl floored by super rich in laws, feeling out of sorts.

I think whenyou post, try and sum up all you can in OP, as we can’t read your mind, a few sentences going DP has £300k for a deposit, does sound braggy when there’s people who would feel blessed with a lot less.

Is it that you feel whilst you’ve been asked to help, you worry about long term and how the property will impact your relationship?

I would also say its wise to maybe put a bit less down and hold some money back for potential work / furniture he needs / putting his own stamp on the place.

If he’s got £300k and doesn’t have the prospect of a big mortgage, then it’s all pretty relative, one the excitement settles you’ll realise how little equity £300k would get you in London.

Have you said if you’re in central London now? Plus how old you are roughly?

With inheritance it’s not something you really get to know about, so it could be a surprise to him? Is there conditions linked to the money? Is there a fear it’ll really shift the power balance?

The thing is, £500k is not even a big budget in London, as others have said. If you want to live in a really nice area, in zone 2 or 3, you can probably only get a 1 or 2 bedroom flat for that. So don't get too excited!