DP being gifted £300k as FTB

[Raraoh]

In a fairly new relationship (1 year) and DP early 30s is house hunting and wants my input. Just found out his budget - he is a FTB, London-based with a 300k deposit. Genuinely gobsmacked.

Christ instead of an interrogation about who has what, why and how.. why not just answer the bleedin op?

Disclaimer - not aimed at anyone who has actually answered.

it all sounds fine to me (and not that much money but it's all relative - I've worked in the City of London myself. It is definitely not a lot of money for there - it's some people's on e year annual bonus never mind inheritance from parents.

If he's not bought before then he jsut wants someone to give a bit of a second opinion on whatever this paperwork is.

He first needs to decide what kind of life he is giong to leave - one bed flat as close to work as possible or long commute but a nice house with garden or whatever.

Bramley Road, London
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53991090.html

Three bed flat in Oakwood?! Right next to the station for the Piccadilly line and only a small mortgage needed.

YABU to use ‘gifted’ when it’s an inheritance. Totally, totally different situations.

This is a test of where he sees your future together. If he buys a house further out near good schools, expect wedding bells, haha. A flat in a cool area in central London means more single childfree life ahead.

Bexhill Road, Arnos Grove, London, ., N11
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-64064335.html

If you and he are thinking of having kids at any point this might work? Very near Arnos Grove...

Gruffaux because I literally only found out all of this today

York Way, London
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53113632.html

Roof terrace alert!

Some on here need to pipe down,you’re trying to process an unusual event
Understandably you want to reflect on An event of significance.thats not bragging
My dp didn’t know all my finances a year in,why would he?its not unusual to not know every minutiae if dp finances

It's not so anonymous that you won't be tomorrow's lazy journalists "news" OP

TerfinUSA You're Donald Trump and I claim my £5

'In the ghetto being stabbed and murdered in a shoebox'
There are NO ghettos in London.

If you go somewhere like Watford - which has trains every few minutes into Euston, takes about 20min - you could get a 2/3 bed Victorian terrace. It's perhaps slightly more future-proof than a bachelor's pad closer to central London.
Eg close to the station, also central, or this one which is a slightly longer walk but lovely area and a proper family house.

If I wasn't depressed before reading this, I bloody am now 😢😡😢

If you are in ‘that field’ you would have known not to use the term gifted.

I think the shocking thing is he lost his parents as a child - not a lot of luck there. I doubt many people would give up their parents as a child for a trust fund.

I'd give less thought to the money imbalance between you and think more about the other differences, particularly the life experience that left him in this position.

The sum total of his parents estate was £300,000.

But they tied it all up in a complicated and unusual trust fund that only gave their orphaned child the money in his 30s.

He told you all this today?

If I were this young man and not planning babies any time soon and working in the City let us assume he only earns £50k if he's just borrowing £200k (and that is a small loan for the city worker by the way) I wqould go for one bed like this right in the middle of London:

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-69587888.html 117 year lease, low service charge and reasonbly nice looking from the outside too.

Or loft apartment 1 bed EC1 www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53764584.html

Then if he makes his fortunte in the city he can either keep that one and let it out and buy somewhere in the country to commute in when he has 4 babies or sell that one at that stage to buy the next which will cost him £1m not £500k

(I am not sure it is ever "gifted" as that is not English although the poste rmay be from a different country. Most of us would say either inherited £300k or had been given or was given £300,000.)

Ugh, 'gifted'. 'Gift' shouldn't be used as a verb but it seems increasingly common. I take it to mean that something has been given or donation with no strings attached, and no expectation of any repayment.

It's not only ugly English usage, but it's totally inappropriate in the context of an inheritance, when the deaths of this man's parents have 'paid' for the sum of money.

Maybe English isn’t OP’s first language. Stop being so petty and RIDICULOUS

OP’s vocabulary and syntax seem pretty solid.

It really isn’t RIDICULOUS to point out that the connotations of ‘gifted’ are crass and inappropriate when referring to an orphaned child’s inheritance.

Why do you care though? Because does it really, honestly make a difference to your life Dolores that OP used the wrong sodding verb?

We all knew what she meant.

You ok hun?

Also not sure the AIBU part. He has a 300k deposit. What amount of mortgage can he get, what area does he want, London or surround, bedrooms, transport, forever home or starter home, etc. he needs to work out those things, preferably with a bank, and then start narrowing down his options. Will you be moving in? Paying any of the mortgage? Until he gets more info and decisions like future finance then really there isn’t mucj to discuss. Easy to pay £600,000+ for not much in certain areas.

We didn’t all know what she meant.

We assumed very understandably that it was a gift from a family member.

Then she dripfed that it was a bizarre trust fund inheritance for an orphaned child.

OP seems pretty blindsided by what she’s learnt today.

I’ve supported someone through receiving a very significant inheritance in pretty appalling circumstances. They found it incredibly difficult. They felt guilty at the huge privileges that the money gave them. They were paralysed at the thought of spending or investing any of it because they were terrified of making a poor decision and squandering the money.

It sounds like OP wants to support her partner, and I know from experience that he is likely to feel very keenly the importance of investing this inheritance wisely. One of the first things that I therefore think she should do is stop thinking of this money as a gift, and start thinking of it as a legacy. It will really help her to empathise with and support her partner.

Language shapes thought. Nuance helps. I hope that clarifies my point of view for you.

As he works in the City of London and plans to borrow £200k and buy at around £500k and has known he would inherit this since he was a baby I suspect it has not been a big shock to the orphan himself and presumably in the city he is surrounded by people who think £300k is not a huge sum when you are buying a City flat etc.

As he is a young man he should probably buy a one bed in the centre near work. If he really loves his girl friend and thinks this is it (whether or not he is the kind to marry or not) then he might want somewhere further out and commute in - a house with a garden commutable into the city from a fair way out. I suspect those will be his main choices.