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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP being gifted £300k as FTB

219 replies

Raraoh · 16/05/2018 16:58

In a fairly new relationship (1 year) and DP early 30s is house hunting and wants my input. Just found out his budget - he is a FTB, London-based with a 300k deposit. Genuinely gobsmacked.

OP posts:
Battleax · 16/05/2018 17:30

Both your BF’s parents died and your first thought was to post about the £300k he’d been “gifted” as a deposit?

Okay now I’m Hmming at you.

pigmcpigface · 16/05/2018 17:30

"£300k is nothing in London he will be in the ghetto being stabbed & murdered in a shoebox."

There's nothing like a cheerful outlook on life, is there? Right ray of sunshine, ain't you love? Grin

I imagine this is just the deposit, so the full amount he borrows will be more.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 16/05/2018 17:31

that's what 300k buy you in Clapham (not even Central London)
and there's obviously a problem with the lease or the building if they only ask for cash-buyers, meaning mortgage companies won't allow the sale.

Hardly a family home for the "wealthy"

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-64410841.html

Guardsman18 · 16/05/2018 17:31

I am baffled why people find your post strange Raraoh. There must be some kind of 'etiquette' that I don't see!

Maybe I'm wrong, but was it because you didn't know what to say/way to behave? If you shrug it off, that'll be wrong as you have no interest and yet if you get excited about it, you'll be after him for his money.

Am I close? Don't mind if I'm not. It's just the way I would feel.

JustSeeingHowManyCharactersWeC · 16/05/2018 17:31

He needs to speak to a mortgage adviser to find out what sort of mortgage he could get, then add that to the deposit amount and that's your budget.

Then try and narrow down an area and use either Rightmove or PrimeLocation to look for houses in your budget in that area. Then you can contact the relevant agent about viewing them and you can get a geek for what you like/don't like and what areas you can or can't compromise on.

happypoobum · 16/05/2018 17:32

I don't understand why this is in AIBU.

OP if you report your own thread you can get it moved to property if you want advice on property. Or Relationships if you want to discuss how this affects your relationship.

I don't understand why you are shocked/weirded out/whatever that someone whose parents are both dead might have a sizeable inheritance to put towards their first property Confused

Battleax · 16/05/2018 17:32

Did they die together? That must be quite a trauma even for a thirty year old.

Has probate been granted?

Original poster
Raraoh · 16/05/2018 17:34

That’s it Guardsman

Battleax - yes he was gifted it, it was held in trust for many many years. I’m trying to explain that it wasn’t in the happiest of circumstances though. and obviously didn’t want to reveal too much which is understandable

OP posts:
adiposegirl2 · 16/05/2018 17:34

Raraoh

Don't allow yourself to be brow beaten by the mumsnet possyFlowers

I want to discuss it too- how does one that young amass so much cash?

What does he do for work?

Are you sure his parents gave it to him or did you just say that because you felt the mumsnet possy pressure? If it's the former then your OP does not make sense.

Aridane · 16/05/2018 17:34

OP. - as you’re getting a lot of the mean girls coming out, you might want to ask MNHQ to move your thread to Chat or Property.

I’m sorry your DP has lost his parents and hope the inheritance gives him / you a wonderful way to remember them

Original poster
Raraoh · 16/05/2018 17:35

It’s doesnt really matter how or when they died, he was a child and it was over two decades ago

OP posts:
Grasslands · 16/05/2018 17:37

FreshPrince, anti money laundering regulations will require a clear money trail.

Mrsmadevans · 16/05/2018 17:37

Aw bless him it must be overwhelming for him, I think it shows how much he trusts you to tell you OP you should be proud .

adiposegirl2 · 16/05/2018 17:38

"£300k is nothing in London he will be in the ghetto being stabbed & murdered in a shoebox."

LMAO at that one...

Only on mumsnet and right up there with 'one chicken feeding a family of 8 for a week'

Grin
JessicaJonesJacket · 16/05/2018 17:38

I'm gobsmacked that you've been in a relationship for a year and your DP's finances are a surprise to you. It would make me uneasy that I'd been with someone for a year and had no idea of their financial circumstances.

Undercoverbanana · 16/05/2018 17:38

I think I understand you OP.

My new(ish) partner of 4 years earns 3 times my salary. I find it quite mind blowing. When I see posts on MN about salaries I realise that even DP’s salary is not outrageously high.

Money makes me a bit uncomfortable. And confusing. I don’t find it easy to discus IRL either.

SquishySquirmy · 16/05/2018 17:39

Its not that unsual for a first time buyer to have that kind of deposit, and nor does it necesarily mean that they are from a family of millionaires or anything.

I know a couple of people who had that kind of money when house hunting, and it was because they were an only child/ only grandchild and inherited it.

A comfortably well off (but not loaded) family will often own a house outright by the time they reach retirement age. Lots of houses (especially in the SE) are worth well over £300,000 so it is really not that surprising that bereaved children or grandchildren may receive sums of money like that, especially if from a small family so not split many ways.
I am sure they would rather have the relative back than the money though. Sad

op, good luck to you and your dp with the house hunting. Not entirely sure what the AIBU is, but if you want advice on where to look in London etc maybe start a new thread and word your request better!

BlessYawnBless · 16/05/2018 17:39

Is this going to be your house too, OP? How come he only just found this out given that his parents died two decades ago?

Original poster
Raraoh · 16/05/2018 17:41

Because it was in trust

OP posts:
AvonCallingBarksdale · 16/05/2018 17:41

A paper trail??! We’re hardly talking squillions squirrelled away under mattresses Confused
OP it’s a v healthy deposit but totally depends where you are. Here 300k towards a nice large 4 bed would still leave you with a 500k mortgage. Other places you’d be able to buy a flat outright. It’s a great opportunity to come out of v sad circumstances but it’s certainly not an unheard of amount.

Original poster
Raraoh · 16/05/2018 17:42

Total budget c500k in London

OP posts:
ikeepaforkinmypurse · 16/05/2018 17:42

It wasn't really a gift if he inherited from his dead parents, was it.

And to the poster who think it's funny that £300k is nothing in London, just go on rightmove and zoopla. It's nothing to do with "Only on MN" unfortunately.

sexnotgender · 16/05/2018 17:43

Yes a paper trail, that is a sizeable deposit for a FTB and any decent bank will ask him for proof.
Sounds like that isn’t an issue though.

Grasslands · 16/05/2018 17:43

Banks are required to ask about money sums larger than 5K.
Since it’s in a trust obviously the paper trail is in place (unless it’s in another country).

Fairenuff · 16/05/2018 17:44

I'm guessing he knew that he would inherit this money when he reached a certain age which is why he hasn't been saving for a deposit before now.

Now he has it, he is using it to buy himself a house.

What's so odd/weird about that?