AIBU to pissed off with this CF.

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

I invited 3 friends from my old work round on Friday to meet my new kitten the house is all upside down at the minute because I have just moved in and I have just been told that not only have they invited some random person to meet us in costa for a coffe they have also invited her to my new house to meet my new kitten without asking me if it was ok first its just been dropped on me. I'm really pissed off that they thought that was even ok and I now don't even want to meet up with them at all AIBU to think you cheeky fucker.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, OP. I wouldn't be happy if a friend invited someone I didn't know to my home. It's not something I'd ever do, as I'd never want to make my host uncomfortable.

I'd hate that. I wouldn't want a stranger invited to my house by someone else. How is that ok? It would completely change the dynamics of a comfortable chat with a friend whether it be about the kitten, the house or anything. It would be introductions, polite questions, trying to find conversation with someone you don't know. No thanks and I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone else. Who are all these people inviting random strangers to friends houses? And yes they would be a random stranger to me. OP YADNBU.

And I don't have anxiety and a problem meeting new people. I do it all day at work and I can't be bothered with the niceties out of work sometimes. I just want to relax with friends. Yes I am aware I'm coming across as a right grumpy cow, I'm really not

I love CF threads - sorely disappointed with this one!
If someone invited me to meet a kitten I would think they were batshit.

I’m with you OP, I hate hate hate it when people turn up with someone I’ve never met. I think it is very rude and really upsets me.

If I invite people to my home, the invitation is for them not random tag alongs! I think I am a very generous host, but have been faced with happening a number of times and it makes me soooo mad.

Is nobody taught manners these days? It is quite simply, rude and bad mannered to invite a stranger round to someone's home, unless you've spoken to the person whose home it is, and asked if you could invite them, and the answer is yes.

It's a shame that so many people on this thread can't see anything wrong with inviting an unknown person to a friend's house, without asking the friend if it was ok.

OP I'm glad you've postponed, it will give the kitten time to get settled, and you to get a bit more straight after just moving house.

Overreacting somewhat ... think of an impromtu mini house warming .. good luck

I am with you - I would have hated this extra new person appearing.

Viewing kittens on the other hand - great ! Kittens are just happy and fun .

I'm totally with you, OP. Well, as far as the not wanting randoms in my house goes. I remember one friend turning up at mine one morning with a good friend of his. I barely knew her, and didn't like what I knew of her, so really resented having to invite her in if he was coming in.

But, as far as meeting the kitten goes, I don't understand why you think it's so strange! Luckily, all my friends know that I get visiting rights when they get pets, especially cute baby ones.

I would be irritated by this. It's rude.

I would be delighted to be invited to meet a new kitten much more than a new baby.

I would hate this too.

Motoko that was my thought, too. Clearly some people were not taught manners or etiquette if they honestly think inviting a stranger and telling - telling mind you, not asking if it was ok - the person that a stranger was coming along is even remotely ok. I can't help but this these people simply were not taught manners by their parents, because it is bizarre anyone thinks that is acceptable. If her friend said "would you mind if I brought abcd along?" Then that would give OP the chance to say, well, actually, I do mind. However from what OP says, it seems she was told what would happen, and not asked. That is where the bad manners comes into it.

Never knew it was cheeky fucker. Always thought it was cunt face 😂

I would hate it. It would have been fine if the meeting was going to stay in the coffee shop but it's not ok to invite a total stranger into someone else's home.

I agree with you OP, you are not unreasonable. I have indicated to friends in the past that I’d like to meet their new feline at some point, though haven’t actually invited myself. However, an invitation has always followed. There is no such thing as an ordinary kitten OP — all are individual and delightful inmho

I can see your point OP and as lots of people have said on here, they wouldn’t like it either.

But it sounds like it would be a shame to cancel because it’s hard to keep in contact with old colleagues and nice that you guys have all made the effort to stay in touch.

I think you should either tell your friends that you’d rather the newbie didn’t come to the kitten visit bit after coffee or decide you are happy to have the newbie over too - and embrace an extra guest. It wouldn’t be good to have her over really grudgingly - albeit that you didn’t put yourself in this situation.

I agree that your ex colleagues have been a bit thoughtless. But maybe they hang out with newbie a lot and are just used to inviting her along a most of the time.

1. I don't understand why people are being weird about people coming to see your kitten. Most people love kittens/puppies and jump at the chance to come and play with/cuddle them. Plus you've made it clear they invited themselves, but people haven't RTFT and are making you sound like a crazy cat lady

2. Good that you cancelled! I also wouldn't want some random coming round, it's just bizarre.

Of course meeting a kitten is thing or am I missing something. To a lot of people kittens are more appealing than human babies.
Sorry missed point of the thread. Too busy day dreaming about cute little kittens.

Now,... see,....my friends would know to ok it with me first, before even mentioning it to some random. I wouldn't mind her coming round to meet my pussy, once I was a little more organised.

Flexoset
I agree, it’s rude. You don’t just invite random people to other friends houses on their behalf. It’s weird and rude. And of course people want to meet a small, furry cute kitten. What sort of heathens are all the people saying your friends don’t want to meet your kitten???

Wow, there are some bloody odd bods on MN.

No, it is not alright to invite a stranger to someone else's house without asking the host's permission first.

It is not odd for people to want to meet a new kitten either.

I've had something similar and it pissed me off. When I gave birth last time my PILs brought family members round I had never met the same day I got home from the hospital without even mentioning it to DH or I. I'd politely tell your friends you do not want a stranger in your home, it's a sanctuary not a doss house

I hate it when friends bring along uninvited and unknown guests.

I think it’s rude of them. It’s not like you’ve arranged to meet in a restaurant or another public place, it’s your home and it’s up to you to decide who gains entry to it, not your friends. I would cancel, personally, and not give a reason unless pressed to do so.

A lady at work has a new puppy. She's been showing us photographs since she first went to go and see him and a week or so after she brought him home, she called into work with him to show us. We all love puppies and everyone in the office (including the two bosses who are male) are totally besotted with him, he's so cute!

We all knew she was bringing him into work as she told us before what time on her day off to expect her.

I can probably think of a dozen of my friends who love puppies, but there's no way on earth that I would have asked any of them to call into work when she came in to meet her pup.

I can imagine a situation where she could have said to us to come over to her house after work for a coffee and a puppy cuddle, but I can't imagine how inappropriate it would be to invite a friend along to her home!