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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pissed off with this CF.

182 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 16/05/2018 14:25

I invited 3 friends from my old work round on Friday to meet my new kitten the house is all upside down at the minute because I have just moved in and I have just been told that not only have they invited some random person to meet us in costa for a coffe they have also invited her to my new house to meet my new kitten without asking me if it was ok first its just been dropped on me. I'm really pissed off that they thought that was even ok and I now don't even want to meet up with them at all AIBU to think you cheeky fucker.

OP posts:
slowlywiltingpetal · 16/05/2018 16:03

Friends and family yes, but 3 old work colleagues?

I think meet the kitten is code for nose around new house.

slowlywiltingpetal · 16/05/2018 16:04

Anyways yes to being a bit off of them, no to it registering on the MN CF scale.

blackteasplease · 16/05/2018 16:08

Id hate it too. on another day you would have got all "what a cf!" replies Op.

PositiveVibez · 16/05/2018 16:08

Having people round to see your kitten sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

Ooer missus 😹

Coyoacan · 16/05/2018 16:13

Just from the responses here I can see that the problem is that lots of people find it totally normal to bring a friend to another friend's house and then some people think it is a total faux pas. I'm in the first group, but those of you who belong to the second group, please don't be too judgemental.

expatmigrant · 16/05/2018 16:13

Is the kitten really bothered?
Biscuit

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 16/05/2018 16:15

Sorry can't get past the meeting of a kitten...but yeah but rude as you don't know the person just tell them no.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 16/05/2018 16:17

Yes, I wouldn't like it. I'd cancel and forget about it.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 16/05/2018 16:21

I have cancelled now I don't want no random people in my house whether or not it's to meet a kitten or just to nose at my new place.

OP posts:
psmith1990 · 16/05/2018 16:22

Do you have previous history with this person? If not, then is it not good to meet new people? If you have, i would be p*ssed off too

cafenoirbiscuit · 16/05/2018 16:23

Someone should tell The Card Factory so they can make ‘come and meet my kitten’ invitations. Ooooh and with party bags, paper napkins, fancy hats and piñatas

fenneltea · 16/05/2018 16:24

Good call OP, I would be uncomfortable with people inviting themselves too, I'm a much happier person when I say no to things I don't want to do.

ConkerGame · 16/05/2018 16:32

OP, do they know you have anxiety and struggle meeting strangers? Because if not then I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong - plenty of people are happy to meet new people and have a ‘more the merrier’ type attitude. My friendship group often bring new people along to parties and gatherings and nobody has a problem with it. (Although tbf they always give advance warning).

Doesn’t mean either of you are ‘wrong’, just different. If you’re not happy with it, just say ‘I’m sorry, I have anxiety and really don’t like having strangers round to my house - please can it just be the three of you, like we arranged? If not, let’s just rearrange for another time when it’s just us 4’.

Although tbh I would think you were being a bit precious if you said that to me! Presumably they’re only popping in and you’re not having to provide a meal or anything? If so, will it hurt if one extra person is there playing with the kitten for 10 mins?

Equally, it’s your house so just say something if you’re uncomfortable, but don’t make a big deal out of it/ get angry with them.

mingebags · 16/05/2018 16:41

I think all these people questioning why people want to meet a kitten are mad. I'm not a cat person, I'm a dog person, but if a friend of mine was to get a new puppy I'd love to go and meet it (but only if I was invited).

OP, you're not being unreasonable at all and I'm glad you cancelled.

One question though - what is CF? The only thing I could think it would be rhymes with hunt-face and I can't imagine it would be that...?

Juells · 16/05/2018 16:43

Cheeky fucker.

OP, just saw you have anxiety and struggle meeting strangers. So you were right to cancel. Flowers

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/05/2018 16:44

CF = Cheeky fucker.

OP YANBU, this would annoy me too.
It's not as though you're all just meeting in a pub, is it - this is your home that this random is being brought along to.

I felt very mildly aggrieved recently that a group of friends get-together, some of us having not seen each other for years, included a random known only to 2 of the people present. She wasn't in any way offensive, she just wasn't known to most of us either and I don't really know why she came, tbh! Of course I didn't say anything and didn't let on that I was mildly aggrieved, that would have been very rude and it wasn't her fault. Just odd, though!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 16/05/2018 16:47

OP, if it's causing you so much grief, just cancel the kitten meeting, Take some pics on your phone, for them all to look at, that should be enough. The End.

Jux · 16/05/2018 16:50

Tell them that the kitten's got some sort of bug and throwing up everywhere - you're taking her to the vet, of course - and that the visit is cancelled.

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 16/05/2018 18:52

My 3 old work friends do know that I have anxiety they know that's why I gave up work. I have cancelled now because I really don't want someone that I don't know in my home.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 16/05/2018 19:33

I would be really stressed out by this. YANBU

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 16/05/2018 20:22

You've definitely done the right thing, well done, I hope your stress levels have dropped now, and you're feeling calmer.
Enjoy your gorgeous little kitty.🌸🐈

Original poster
Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 16/05/2018 20:25

Branaluse it did really stress me out right now I can do without people inviting extras along.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Thank you yes I am feeling much calmer now and enjoying spending a bit of time with my new kitten without having to worry about surprise vistors.

I wouldn't of minded an extra person if I had just been asked before hand instead of them just thinking its ok to invite whoever they feel like to someones elses home.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 16/05/2018 20:28

No advice, but I would love to see a photo of your kitten Smile.

0hCrepe · 16/05/2018 20:34

They did tell you beforehand though, it’s not like she was just there unexpectedly, you had chance to cancel which you now have and you can give yourself more time before inviting them round next time, when you feel more ready. It sounds like having the 3 round would’ve been quite stressful anyway and you felt you had to invite them too soon.

But I’m surprised they did think you’d be ok with it knowing how bad your anxiety is, to the extent you had to leave your job.

19lottie82 · 16/05/2018 20:37

I wouldn't of minded an extra person if I
had just been asked before hand

That’s not the impression you have given out!

I don't want no random people in my
house whether or not it's to meet a kitten or just to nose at my new place.

Why on earth would someone who doesn’t know you want to “nose at your new place”Confused