To ask if your family heard you'd been arrested- what would they assume you'd done?

[Midge1978]

Light hearted thread obv!

Moider.

Of who?!

Assaulted someone as I've a terrible temper and very low bullshit tolerance.

They'd definitely think I'd been mouthing off to a crap twat driver. If someone is being s prick on the roads I have no problem in telling them. DH says I'll get into trouble one day, but I act now, think later.

Stolen something. ..fancy glass, salt pot, posh cutlery etc.....can't think why

Who? They probably already have a list starting with ''The fucking twat who kicked his dog''.

120+ mph on the M1 driving back from LHR late at night.

Extreme pedantry

Broken into a farm/factory/slaughterhouse/that sort of thing and let all the animals out.

Or broken some bloke's nose because he tried to jump on me in a lift. They might have seen me do that many years ago... ooops!!!

Some kind of peaceful activism; obstructing or trespassing, criminal damage. But no violence or thieving

They'd be baffled and assume it was a wrongful arrest because I'm very boring and very well behaved.

I'd like them to think it was something like international diamond smuggling which sounds faintly glamorous, but no, they'd expect it to be a mistake.

Kill my Ex and relief all of us of years of more bullshit and Chunt Fuckery. They will be there to support knowing what I have put up the last 3 years since we split and for the almost 10 years of marriage. They wouldn't blame me one bit as they know I am not a drinker/smoker so I am always in control and ask me every day how the f...k I deal with him and his bullshit without falling apart....killing him and no family support at all.

Drunk and disorderly.

They'd think I was covering for someone, probably my DBro

Smacked someone in the face for animal cruelty in front of me.

TheSecondOfHerName

Extreme pedantry

Definitely damage to my DDs Yr7 teacher. Not physical but something really passive aggressive like sneering at her choice of purple Uggs....

Moider here too 😁

Probably something like driving without due care and attention, not because I have form for it, just because I’m very straight, dull and even tempered but quite scatty. Most people have probably been distracted while driving but luckily nobody has stepped out or braked in front of their car at that moment.

Shoplifting. I wander round in a daze most of the time and have walked out of shops and looked at stuff in my hands with genuine surprise. I once tucked two thick Sunday newspapers bulging with supplements under my arm whilst I self checked out a few things, strolled out to the car and threw them on the passenger seat. I did a comical double-take as if they'd appeared by magic.

Some crazy activism for a cause nobody knew I felt strongly about

Breach of the Peace, Criminal Damage and ABH, typical night out, really.

Fighting with my neighbour. They’d think i’d Finally snapped and thrown battery acid on his car or something.

Arson!

Either murdering one or more fuckwits or running a large drugs empire.

Criminal damage and breach of peace. I take my rage out - on the rare occasions I really lose my temper- on inanimate objects and by being shit-staggeringly rude. At volume.

The other option would be poison pen, if I'd decided to tell a couple of people what I think of them.