To ask if your family heard you'd been arrested- what would they assume you'd done?

[Midge1978]

Light hearted thread obv!

Kidnapping George Clooney

TERFing.

Literal violence.

Just asked them and all said immediately........drunk and disorderly......

Something involving me losing my temper spectacularly.

Drunk and disorderly definitely. I'm way too mellow for them to ever think assault or anything similar. I do like a good drinking session when I have the opportunity.

Murder of my exh.

Some sort of driving offence as my poor driving skills cause great hilarity to my family. (Not dangerous, just no spatial awareness so regularly hit walls when parking etc)

Stabbed my boss

DH would apparently assume I'd given a police officer a bollocking piece of my mind. Can't imagine why

Shoplifting

They'd be speechless. They'd be stunned and wondering if there was some sort of mistake.

Assault.
Or burying MIL under the patio .

Driving offends

Probably something after being kettled at a march or demo!!!

Also criminal damage. My lawyer sister once accused me of this when my wait in A&E was considerably worsened by sitting in front of a sign "Women's and Childrens Ward". I waited until she'd gone to the toilet and stuck the apostrophe in with my eyeliner

Assaulting an arsehole driver that has cut me up but actually caused an accident instead of my driving preventing it like normal

In unrelated news I have a fully functioning invisibility cloak for my car when it's in motion, free to the person who can remove it

Criminal damage ..like an above poster, I have been known to take a marker pen to badly written signs!!!
(I will ask my DD2 what she thinks I would have done when she gets in!!)

Civil disobedience.

Stolen some Chanel

Shoplifting, but they would assume that I'd just forgotten to pay.

It's possible that at the moment they would think I'd gone off on some grief-fuelled rampage like in the movies. Lethal Weapon stylee. They would soon realise it was unlikely though.

Very slowly killing DD’s abusive ex . Would want him to suffer the way DD and DGS did. Pretty sure they would all be outside with placards insisting it was justified. One day .....

Mum - tax fraud or money laundering
Dad - mistaken identity/wrongful arrest

They have vastly different opinions about me

Murder (I have a list)
Some kind of criminal damage/civil disobedience
Trespass.
Speeding,

Smacking my brother round the head for being a dick.

Political protest or assaulting a pavement cyclist

Probably drugs...