To have binned MILs batshit gift to my DC?

[FreshJeffhasleft]

If the gift was dreadful? And we're no contact and I'd like to believe the gift was a horrible joke but no- it was "sincere"

If you’re no contact, you can bin the gift even if it’s an amazing gift. But of course you need to abate Mumsnet curiosity and tell us what it is.

Have to know what it is. My MIL bought an electronic tag 500m range for our baby when she was born in case the baby wanted to go out.....alone.

Meg

I'm nc with my mother too. I know how this feels. In my opinion, yanbu. But you must tell us what the gift was.

YANBU. You get to decide what is in your house. But out of curiosity, what is it?

Need to know what the gift is!

What was the gift?

They are CUNTS (sorry Paul Dacre)

It was my DS birthday yesterday they left on our door mat his gifts

Today I've trashed everything without giving them to him and know it will cause a massive row between DH and I. I know you're supposed to be grateful for any gift given but really?

You treat someone like shit for 10 years then leave a half eaten cake(yes really) 4 ,free with a national newspaper CDs and a rusty compass for an 8 year old-almost adds to the insult.

Sorry for the rant.

Easily. I binned DB Xmas gift to my 2yr old - massive box of kids make up.

They sound unhinged. I don't blame you one bit.

Why will your husband be upset about it? A half eaten cake a rusty compass andfree cds do not sound like something an eight year old would be interested in or safe for a child.

I know you're supposed to be grateful for any gift

Says who? Surely it depends on the giver and the meaning behind it?

Sounds like you need to get DH on board - if she's been treating you like shit for ten years he should not be pissed with you for throwing away her tat.

know it will cause a massive row between DH and I.

If you making the decision not to keep a rusty compass and secondhand food to give to YOUR children will cause a 'massive row' then I wouldn't even do your frankly equally batshit DH the honour of telling him they arrived at all.

If he isn't supportive, do yourself a favour and deal with it yourself.

If he's still in contact with them:

'Where are the gifts my mum said she left on the step?'
'Gifts? No gifts here. She left them on the step? Then I assume they were stolen or picked up by someone assuming they were going free. How stupid of her.'

When my ds was born - mil's 1 and only dgs, he got a rocking horse from freecycle that had mange. (chipped, dirty +alopecia)
It went to the tip...

Fizzy
He will see it as spiteful on my behalf and damn right I had just as much a husband problem as a PIL problem-which I decided to sort out.

I told him he was a grown up and could do as he pleased in regard to contact with them -me and most certainly the kids aren't going anywhere near them.

And extended member of the family their side has earned me that one of them has suffered ill health and are expecting caring services -so I'm thinking this is an Olive branch from them (yes fitting with the their batshittery)

Dh gets sulky-I've no time for that nonsense anymore.

I wondered what people do with those free newspaper CDs that you see in the mail. Gift them to an 8 year old. Makes sense! Do you even need to tell DH? If they’re NC then it’s best ignored.

They should be ashamed giving those awful gifts to their dc, just tells you what they think and feel. I would have done the same, it is insulting, I don't care what your dh think, he should be supporting you. No wonder you are nc.

That “present” does sound batshit crazy, were they wrapped or just dumped in a pile?

Don't tell him and plede ignorance- someone must have taken them🤷🏻‍♀️

Nope they were wrapped

In Easter paper.

For context they live in a £££££ house and are wealthy.

Don't think YABU at all.

I agree with Fizzy - deny all knowledge. That's the risk you take when you leave anything on the front step!

Fuck him then.

Don't tell him you binned them. Play completly dumb. Make sure they are binned elsewhere!

If he's going to sulk and basically act unreasonably and make life at home difficult, then you take whatever course is necesary to circumvent that. There is no reason at all why you should have to put up with him calling you spiteful/sulking/basically act spitefully to you, for sticking to your guns. You're not stopping him seeing them. You have the right to take yourself away and that INCLUDES rejecting them 'coming into your space' with things like this. So - he causes problems, he doesn't get told stuff. Entirely his own fault.

No gifts ever arrived.

No olive branches are of interest here.

Caring duties? Ooooh, that'll be your loving son you want to speak to.

Dh knows they were delivered.

Fizzy good thinking

First of all be honest with yourself, did you bin it because it was dreadful or because you are NC with them?

Secondly, wouldn't it have made more sense to show what they brought to DH before binning it?

Thirdly, i'm not really buying the half eaten cake.