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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have binned MILs batshit gift to my DC?

135 replies

FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 11:52

If the gift was dreadful? And we're no contact and I'd like to believe the gift was a horrible joke but no- it was "sincere"

OP posts:
DragonsAndCakes · 14/05/2018 12:45

I’d take the line that it would be confusing and upsetting for your child to be given these gifts.

Original poster
FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 12:47

I'm not going to lie about binning stuff

I love him.

I'm just exasperated by it all.

It doesn't seem to go away. Marriage and family is hard enough without a couple of truly spiteful people digging their claws in.

And breathe.

OP posts:
ParentInCharge · 14/05/2018 12:47

Ha ha ha! That IS batshit! So I assume they wanted to share your DS's birthday cake with him and decided to take their pieces before he got to see it?

UpstartCrow · 14/05/2018 12:47

I'd also take the line that your DGH sulking in front of his children is a secondary form of abuse. He sounds enabling.

Original poster
FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 12:48
OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 14/05/2018 12:49

I was going to say that unwanted gifts should go to the charity shop - but I can't see any charity shop accepting a half-eaten cake. Cake

monkeytoad35 · 14/05/2018 12:51

This is crazy WHO does that Hmm

UpstartCrow · 14/05/2018 12:52

This is one of the worst passive aggressive gifts I've seen. I'm not sure it even counts as passive.

TheClaws · 14/05/2018 12:53

That cake doesn’t look like it’s been in the bin.

Original poster
FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 12:55

I know right

But I'm sure she'd give a fabulous reason why.
I'd photograph the free CDs but they're long gone. Confused

Attila that's a very interesting post- resonates massively with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 12:55

thaclaws
Thanks that's really useful.

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 14/05/2018 12:56

My guess is that the cake is a message: "You don't let us see DGS so we have to celebrate his birthday separately. How sad. Boohoo."

The crap "gifts" are another message: "We don't actually give that much of a shit about DGS, we just wanted to make you feel bad."

Biddie191 · 14/05/2018 12:56

AtillaTheMeercat my MIL, on the rare occasion she gave me a present always gave me 2nd hand clothes which were way too big, old really nasty cheap handbags etc. Did not realise that was a 'thing' though!

You are completely justified in binning the stuff, but I would tell DH why, personally. Your DS would be quite upset I'd have thought. If questioned, I'd expect the cake to be 'well, it's the only way we can share his B'day cake with him' or some such designed to make you feel bad bollocks.

Foxysoxy10 · 14/05/2018 12:57

I presume the cake is a passive aggressive ‘we wanted to share your cake and Birthday with you DGS but your mother is sooooo much of a bitch she won’t let us see you, so we have taken our half so we can still share in your day even though.......sniffle, sniffle.......we are miles away......howling tears’

They are batshit!

I can’t work out the whisk though? Maybe they couldn’t find a spoon as a metaphor for you being a stir’er?

BadTasteFlump · 14/05/2018 12:58

To me the message behind that cake is "we bought a cake for our GC but because we aren't allowed to see them, we had to sit and eat our share here, on our own, in our empty house, with sad faces".

Twats.

Original poster
FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 12:59

Foxy I put the whisk in there so I'd not be accused of downloaded a photo of half bin-salvaged, half eaten cake-

Apparently this cake hasn't seen a bin though Hmm meh.

OP posts:
BadTasteFlump · 14/05/2018 12:59

It kind of reminds me of a card our DD's NC grandmother sent for her birthday - it was of a little girl in a tutu (who looked remarkably like DD - must have taken her ages to find it) - and the little girl was looking out of the window as if waiting for somebody.... can't guess who Hmm

ParentInCharge · 14/05/2018 13:01

@TheClaws does to me. Clearly it's been on its side (presumably in the bin) as the icing is all over the box. They don't usually come looking like that from the bakery.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/05/2018 13:03

They are crazy! Your dh couldn’t possibly think they mean well in any shape or form.

Meckity1 · 14/05/2018 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Post deleted at OP's request

Gorilly · 14/05/2018 13:08

Apparently this cake hasn't seen a bin though hmm meh

I wouldn't reply to disbelievers. If they don't believe you then they should click fucking back

Original poster
FreshJeffhasleft · 14/05/2018 13:10

Gorily-you are right and actually I shouldn't really challenge it because it is so ridiculously unbelievable BlushSmile

OP posts:
MoltenLasagne · 14/05/2018 13:14

Meckity Don't forget the "My MIL died last year and she was wonderful and I miss her daily. How dare you not have the exact same relationship with your completely crazy PIL" Not had one yet, they tend to be a bit slower than on ones about mothers...

Juells · 14/05/2018 13:14

@GrumbleBumble

Wow - amazed at how many of you think it's OK for the OP to gaslight her DH! It's fine to bin the stuff, it's not fine to lie about binning it.

That's not gaslighting. It's avoiding a fight that shouldn't even happen.

FairyFace · 14/05/2018 13:16

This reminds me when my mil who is fairly wealthy would shop in charity shops for gifts for the kids, that wasn't my problem, it was the fact she would pick up any old tat, no thought into it at all. When ds was a baby she bought him a used walker for Xmas when she opened it up as in it was collapsed , she stood it up and there was a half eaten liga squished into the seat of it. Lovely. Anything she gave after that I'd bin it straight away, dirty filthy old looking teddys with the sticker still on it, like 80p etc . Found it really insulting to be honest, would have much preferred them to take their g kids out for an ice cream. Another year ds got a free calender with pictures of tractors on it, seeing as he loved tractors they thought this was acceptable. Calender was 2014 , the year he got it was 2015. I ask of you