To wonder what people think about this, child maintenance

[TWDfan]

A man has a one night stand that results in the woman becoming pregnant, neither of them were mindful about taking precautions.

He tells the woman from the offset that he isn't ready to have a baby and he doesn't want to be involved, but respects her decision if she chooses to keep the baby and go it alone but makes it clear he won't be a part of the childs life or hers.

Woman keeps the baby knowing the father won't be involved and is prepared to be a single parent, as the due date looms the father begins getting messages about paying for the child.

Should he pay CM?

the fact he made his stance clear from the get go means he refuses to be held accountable

He didn’t make it clear from the get go! The get go is before they have sex. If he had said before sex that he wanted to have unprotected sex and would not be paying for any chidlren resulting from it she would have been making an informed decision to have unprotected sex. But he didn’t make that clear. And fwiw even if he had said that I’d still go to CMS. You don’t get to just absolve yourself of all responsibility from your actions. Not without a legal contract.

Yes he should pay to support his child. Depending on if the child goes into higher education or not he could be paying child maintenance for the next 20 years.

I know a man like this, similar situation, and he was out outraged that he had to pay child maintenance for a child he didn’t want.

If I were him I would getting a paternity test done before anything else. He doesn't know this woman at all really.

^This

The lengths men will go to to avoid financial responsibility for the children they have fathered never ceases to amaze me.

I think they should be electronically tagged, so that all they can do is leave the house to go to work, until they have paid up and paid off all arrears.

I see so many women really struggling financially, and their children suffering, because of feckless men, it makes my blood boil.

If I were him I would getting a paternity test done before anything else. He doesn't know this woman at all really.

The CMS will do this

I am going to be the opposite voice.

Unfortunately the law says he has to pay.

This is where a woman holds all the cards. She can choose to keep or abort. Even if she gives birth she can then choose to keep, put forward for adoption, put into care. The man has no input to any of her decisions but is expected to abide by them. In short a woman can negate her obligations but a man is forever tied. I do think a man should get the same option as a woman to waive all rights.

PS - ONS, I'd be getting a paternity test.

He's an ignorant twat.

Yes. the only exception is if he is of limited understanding and mentally at an age where he did not understand that sex can lead to pregnancy or that what they were doing was sex.
Assuming he is not suffering from extreme learning difficulty, the point where he decides he isnt responsible for any results isn't after the event.

Yeah women hold all the cards don’t we? We get to either undergo an abortion and all that entails or carry a human being for 9 months and all that entails, (some pregnancies are very difficult after all), childbirth, post birth, our bodies changing for good, our career prospects often changing, our social lives too usually.

Yeah women have such a good deal.....

OP you’re friend is an ignorant fanny. If he didn’t use contraception more fool him. If he did and it failed, sorry but shit happens sometimes and sex isn’t without its risks.

new a woman can negate her obligations? Do you mean terminate the pregnancy?

It’s a biological fact that once conception has taken place, the responsibility of what to do with the pregnancy is on the woman. And thank god too, or you’d have abusive men forcing terminations on their victims. Terminations are painful and mentally destroy you if they’re not what you want.

So this guff about it being unfair to the poor bloke- well, he had the chance to wrap it didn’t he? Can’t complain after the fact.

The man has no input to any of her decisions but is expected to abide by them.

No input?? No input?? It was his fucking input that created the problem.

If hadn’t had any input he wouldn’t be gathering children he has no notion of raising.

My friend got pregnant after a one night stand, father from get go said he didnt want the baby and said its unfair only the woman can decide to go ahead with the pregancy, despite his wishes... She doesnt ask for CM as she said she didnt respect his wishes and continued knowing full well of the situation... Me however? Im on the fence

Of course he should pay. Anybody who thinks he shouldn't is actually saying that the right of a man to have consequence free sex is more important than the right of a child to be supported. How despicable do you have to be to prioritize a man's right to ejaculate with abandon over the basic needs of a living breathing child.

He needs a DNA test first before commencing child support and both need an sti test.

He should pay regardless and will learn a lesson re being reckless. Maybe she wanted a child and saw him as a donor. He was very stupid.

Yes! As the child is biologically his and didn't ask to be born this child will need to be provided for by both people involved.
He had his opportunity to avoid this consequence by not depositing his bodily fluids outside of a condom.
your friend needs to ignore his protests and contact cm.

This is where a woman holds all the cards. She can choose to keep or abort.

In the UK perhaps but abortions aren't available to all women.

Regardless the law is the law, he will have to contribute financially for the child he created. Would've been cheaper buying some condoms, which he had the choice to do.

Not even all of the UK.

Of course he should. Men, well younger, teenage boys, should be educated so they understand they only have control and say when their sperm is in their body. If they voluntarily leave it inside of a women you lose the right to a say and therefore pay for any decision she makes. This should be taught so they dont rely on a girl saying they are on the pill. They need to be taught to take responsibility for it themselves and always wear a condom even if a girl says she is on contraception.

Is he employed? He sounds like the sort of arsehole who would try to hide his earnings if self employed.

Men, well younger, teenage boys, should be educated so they understand they only have control and say when their sperm is in their body. If they voluntarily leave it inside of a women you lose the right to a say and therefore pay for any decision she makes

Funnily I knew someone born from a situation like this where the father - a teenager - was half the mother's age.

The father stepped up once the baby was born, and eventually did a lot for the child. As an adult the child refuses to speak to their mother.

He is as responsible for the child's existence as the woman is.
I don't know how any sane adult could think he shouldn't pay CM.

I don’t feel sorry for men in this situation at all. He had a choice to use condoms and chose not to. He is also an adult and understands that even condoms can sometimes fail. Of course he needs to pay CMS following a paternity test.

This is where a woman holds all the cards. She can choose to keep or abort. Even if she gives birth she can then choose to keep, put forward for adoption, put into care. The man has no input to any of her decisions but is expected to abide by them. In short a woman can negate her obligations but a man is forever tied

Well thats biology for you isn't it? That is how it has to work.

I do think a man should get the same option as a woman to waive all rights

How would that work then

Absolutely he should pay. A condom is pretty dependable when used properly, and cheap, accessible, and no side effects. Not doing such a simple thing is acceptance of the consequences.