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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

999 replies

whyismykid · 13/05/2018 15:40

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 13/05/2018 17:00

3 reasons. The first is I wasn't able to get involved with anything out of school hours. The second was ds has severe sn and so I felt I didn't have much in common with the other parents. The third reason was I disliked some of the senior staff in the school and didn't want to do anything that I had to be around them more than I needed to be.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 13/05/2018 17:00

Carnegie more than one poster has declared that the reason why some people don't volunteer is because some people are "givers", while others are "takers". I just don't think it's that simple.

SluttyButty · 13/05/2018 17:00

Ive been a vice chair on a PTA committee.
We had meetings in the evenings in pubs so you could have a drink whilst chatting.

God that 'job' took a bit more f my soul trying to convince people to help out. It was always the same people who helped at every event.

What really helped to focus patents was giving them a very specific goal of what we were raising money for each year. And a pimms/beer/mulled wine tent, that helped Wink

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 13/05/2018 17:01

I work full time during the week and after work, I want to spend time with my family.

As for weekends, we have commitments

TricksyLiesmith · 13/05/2018 17:01

I work FT with an hour commute but help when I can . Breaking into 45 min slots help and good clear instructions when you arrive .

JoffreyBaratheon · 13/05/2018 17:02

I used to be a teacher. I know what PITAs parent governors and stalwarts of the PTA, truly are.

InkSnail · 13/05/2018 17:03

I'd like to help but would like to help "as and when" rather than be involved in something very open-ended and vague. If there was a list of things that needed doing for the fair, I'd be happy to sign up to run a stall/clear up afterwards/sell ice cream/count the cash or whatever.

Last time I offered in person, the PTA member never got back to me with anything to do. I know I could have asked again, but other things took over. If there had just been a sign-up list in the first place I could have just picked a job and put my name down.

CombineBananaFister · 13/05/2018 17:04

Oh, and it certainly doesn't get you 'in' with the teachers at our school, if anything it means they dislike you more as they have to lend resources/equipment/classrooms and stay to help Grin

InkSnail · 13/05/2018 17:04

I agree Minister. There have been some times in my life when giving has been possible, and others where it hasn't. I'm still the same person either way, and I don't think it's very helpful to label people either a "giver" or a "taker".

littleducks · 13/05/2018 17:05

Honestly because I have no interest in attending any extra school events. I do not care if there is a summer fair.

Luckily I picked a school with like minded parents and there us in fact no PTA.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 13/05/2018 17:05

I volunteered for the PTA when I moved to a new area.
I found it very cliquey, I got the crap jobs. Wasn't invited to the 'splinter' pta meetings.
We were renting, on a try before you buy basis, however as renters we were not really welcomed (affluent Cheshire village) i had quite a miserable time. We didn't buy and i have never been near a pta meeting since.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 13/05/2018 17:06

Weekdays I work until 2:30 then pick the kids up then every evening one or the other has an activity. Which start and finish anywhere between 4 and 8. Weekends they play for their sports teams. One o. A Saturday one on a Sunday, away matches can be very far away. I also run fundraising/collect subs for these teams.

I also walk dogs for a local rescue centre.

There is no more of me to go around.

Stormy76 · 13/05/2018 17:06

When mine were young it was because I worked and was studying so when I had free time I wanted to spend time with my family on my weekends. I appreciated those that did get involved but I simply didnt have time. I would always send in things (cakes, books, toys etc) to sell and we would go to the fairs but the weekends were all about the boys and football clubs.

bikingintherain · 13/05/2018 17:07

At my kids school they ask for a donation each year. They have suggestions based on your income bracket but it's entirely voluntary. I think they have about 80% of parents donating.

feral · 13/05/2018 17:08

Because the parents that run it all at my DS school are, mostly, the SAH ones with the expensive 4x4 cars that they park at the school gates at 2.30 so they can get a spot, who can't seem to understand that the rest of us have to work and don't have time for cake sales and the usual unimaginative shite the PTA organise.

I'm not saying I'd be more imaginative btw, I'm just saying the PTA certainly isn't either.

Longdistance · 13/05/2018 17:08
  1. I work full time, at another school
  2. I also have to squeeze in looking after my elderly dm
  3. any spare time left over I spend quaffing wine trying to keep my sanity Is that enough reasons?
rookiemere · 13/05/2018 17:08

I feel a bit sorry for the OP - she only asked how to get more volunteers for the event, but asking about PTA and school fetes always seem to divide public opinion.

So back to OPs original question, what could be done to increase participation?

Some ideas are:

  • Make people more aware about what the funds are going to, not in general but from that specific event. Perhaps people will be more inclined to help on the day if they know specifically what the money is going to
  • Get the older DCs to run some of the stalls
  • Get the teachers to mention the fair in class and say they are looking for parent volunteers ( double edged sword this one and I'm sure some people will hate it but nothing like DC pester power)
  • Work out what the minimum number of people needed to run the fair our, if you don't get that number by a week before, then cancel it as its not fair to the remaining volunteers to have to do more work
  • If you're offering 45 min slots make sure that message is carried through to everyone. I've arrived to do a slot and discovered that everyone else was expecting me to stay for the whole thing
  • As I said up-thread, pad out the fair by letting business pay for a few tables
  • Encourage Dads to volunteer as well - maybe by having a shoot the goal or other stuff
  • Realise that those people donating stuff are also helping out
  • After the event publicly thank anyone who has helped - maybe even have an evening at the school with a few bottles of cheap plonk - don't worry very few people will turn up. I once volunteered for clean up after a fair and saw and spoke to nobody so I ended up pushing a brush round for a bit and emptying some litter bins but I've no idea if what I was doing was enough or if it was what I should be doing, so I never volunteered to do that again.
OwlOfBrown · 13/05/2018 17:09

Because I work full time and I run a Brownie unit (for which parent help is virtually non-existent, even from those parents who are on the PTA), and I am a trustee for another community organisation, and kind of, you know, need to spend time with my own family.

rookiemere · 13/05/2018 17:09

Oh and meant to say having online sign up for specific slots was a great idea - sad that it didn't get much take up.

Spikeyball · 13/05/2018 17:11

I didn't take anything either. Ds never attended any pta organised activities or parties, went on the school minibus or used the sports equipment.

gabsdot · 13/05/2018 17:11

I'm a school governor at my DDs school plus I volunteer at my church so I don't have time left to volunteer at my DSs school.
When my school governor time is over I probably will.

Utrecht · 13/05/2018 17:12

Because I have ASD and being trapped at a noisy event trying to deal with constant interactions - either with other volunteers or with 'customers', or with other people's unsupervised children - is completely overwhelming. I rarely attend the events but donate stuff for stalls etc ECT and also make additional donations to the school fairly regularly.

(Full disclosure, I did volunteer, twice, it was fricking awful and the established PTA members stood about moaning while their kids wreaked havoc. I was given the job of making and delivering them all regular cups of tea in addition to manning a refreshments stall for three hours. I hated them all.)

QuizzlyBear · 13/05/2018 17:12

I always had trouble manning anything or planning anything as I'd be attending with two young children and nobody else to watch them.

When they got older I joined in but by then it was so cliquey it put me right off. Now I just attend the events and spend a fortune, which is my way of contributing.

SweetieBaby · 13/05/2018 17:13

Just a quick comment on timings of meetings - I've run PTAs in 2 schools and have tried to overcome this but the main problem for us was venue. Holding meetings during the day and you can use the school. Where can you meet in the evenings/weekends? We looked at a pub but they were too noisy. No one had a suitable house. We managed once to use a room in a social club but only the usual people turned up and it was better for us to meet during the day so we decided to do what was easiest for us rather than easier for the people who requested it but didn't turn up anyway.

CocoaGin · 13/05/2018 17:14

I did 2 years as Chair of the playgroup committee, and about 8 years all together for the school PTFA.

There are those that help OP and those that make excuses. And it never seemed particularly fair that everyone's child reaped the benefits of the hard work of so few. I had to remind myself often through gritted teeth that it was all about the kids Grin