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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

999 replies

whyismykid · 13/05/2018 15:40

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

OP posts:

siwel123 · 15/05/2018 21:31

I do think we can judge the PTA at our school guys if people want to.
People aren't judging you or your school PAY they're being critical of theirs.

umizoomi · 15/05/2018 21:32

So what's your point? I never said your children shouldn't benefit. I said that people who don't volunteer OR contribute in anyway still expect to benefit. As you say, the money doesn't just appear without effort from people and people spending money.

You seem to think I was saying if people don't volunteer they shouldn't benefit which isn't what I put. Support comes in many ways.

Your PTA are cliquey alphamums, ok we all must be then.

siwel123 · 15/05/2018 21:34

@umi. I hope that isn't at me?

umizoomi · 15/05/2018 21:34

No that's to Lipstick

HotSteppa · 15/05/2018 21:40

I have 2 small children who couldn't manage the school fete without me in tow so I can't really lend a hand . Both my husband and myself work full time, shifts too so spare time for evening meetings, cake baking etc is at a premium. I appreciate those that do take time to be organiser but I also imagine that they enjoy taking on this roll, other wise they wouldn't do it ?

As the kids are older and more independent I imagine I will offer to help out a bit but I'm not gonna be pushing myself forward to be running events.

siwel123 · 15/05/2018 21:40

Ok thanks @umi. Was confused for a moment

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/05/2018 21:40

Is your real life demeanour as snippy Your written posts umizoomi
Is this how you are undertaking your pta duties?
You simply don’t get to dictate whom I cast aspersions upon

Lethaldrizzle · 15/05/2018 21:42

Some of these posts are so mean spirited and insecure. A 'Cliquey cabal' - so like a cliquey clique - eh?

jwpetal · 15/05/2018 21:43

I tried to help and finally gave up. Actually volunteered to secretary and they planned a meeting, without telling me and told me about it the day before. It had been planned for weeks. Left me completely out of the loop. Then volunteered to be a class rep. They signed our year group up for a back sale and did not tell me or the class. Found out 4 days ahead. I volunteered at the school fayre and the brought a dessert. The team was so rude. The final nail in the coffin was the head teacher told the parent group that any money raised, she would use as she wants to use it. So basically, if we raised money for school play equipment, she could not do that and get something else. It turns out that I asked too many questions. The annoying thing is that I had been a leader of a successful fundraising group and understood the process etc. Be inclusive, be honest and do what you can do. If you only have 8 volunteers then only do what can be done.

jwpetal · 15/05/2018 21:44

sorry for all the mistakes. I got distracted and didn't reread...

iheartmichellemallon · 15/05/2018 21:48

I agree jwpetal - asking questions is not liked as they only want people to do what they're told & not challenge. This thread has made me realise just how horrid they all are.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/05/2018 21:49

Lethal,make sure you read all 987 posts and individually address all you dislike
I’ll give you a head start you’ll need a lot of faces for the multiple repeats of cliquey
Are you planning to address all other posters you disagree with or just me?

umizoomi · 15/05/2018 21:55

No Lipstick, but as you made a sweeping generalisation that includes me in it that PTA are all alphamums/cliquey cabal etc etc etc, then I returned the favour.

You seemed to originally take it personally that I said I was annoyed that parent who don't support in any way get upset if things aren't funded by the PTA but yet, they haven't contributed in anyway to the PTA fundraising effort.

If you read the post, you would understand. I never said that everyone should volunteer to have the children benefit from funds. But I find it very hypocritical that people who don't volunteer OR buy anything OR donate anything OR offer Support in any way, shape or form to then get pissy if things don't get bought or funded by the school PTA.

I also said that whilst you may not want to volunteer, it's pretty shitty to have a go at those that do when your children benefit from the activities of those volunteers.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/05/2018 22:00

Cabal can also be a tight knit group with shared belief & behaviour who exclude others.

I fear you’re over invested and thin skinned as a pta mum umizoomi as the telling phrase it’s not pretty shitty to have a go Illustrates

It’s not shitty in the least,it’s a hugely widely held opinion
A pta mum has posted people avoid her..
Numerous others have posted their unsavoury pta experiences
So I’m afraid you seem overly sensitised to posts that aren’t high 5ing the pta

SweetieBaby · 15/05/2018 22:01

So I guess you are being nice by insulting all members of PTAs just because the few that you've come into contact with aren't nice?

And it's nice to personally insult people who are just trying to do their best to raise money for schools to benefit all of the pupils?

And finally for Pps who have said that they support by spending money (and absolutely you do) the PTA are a means of combining those individual contributions and formalising them in some way. We raised about £4500 a year so that could be used to fund quite big projects. If we'd all donated our spending money at fetes, raffles etc individually it wouldn't have made as much impact would it? Surely it's better that money raised by parents remains under the control of parents.

Just as a side not, the way PTAs are constituted means that all parents at the school are automatic members. You have the right to go along to meetings and voice your opinion or go to the AGM and propose changes. Your opinion is as valid as the next person.What isn't fair is to go along, rubbish everything that they do but then refuse to offer any practical help.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/05/2018 22:02

So I guess you are being nice by insulting all members of PTAs just because the few that you've come into contact with aren't nice?
Is that addressed to the 994 other posters?

SW6mama · 15/05/2018 22:14

Because I really really don’t like being told what to do. Especially by idiots.

umizoomi · 15/05/2018 22:14

I am neither thin-skinned or over invested Lipstick

My statement implies nothing of the sort. If you don't want to volunteer, then don't. Why do the only reactions on your part have to be the extremes of bitching about the people that do or 'high-fiving' them.
Can it not just be the you accept what they do and that's that?

You seems to think love/hate are the only options. Yet I am the one over-invested

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/05/2018 22:15

Yes I share that sentiment too SW6Mama

SweetieBaby · 15/05/2018 22:17

Addressing the point that @iheartmichellemallon made above

"This thread has made me realise just how horrid they all are."

I've been a member of PTAs for many years and as far as I know haven't excluded anyone, been nasty, acted superior... Yet it seems that I, and countless other volunteers, have been tarred with the same brush.

It's fine, if the people that you've contacted aren't very nice, to dislike them or be upset with them but why does that make it ok to spit venom at anyone else who dares commit the crime of trying to help?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/05/2018 22:20

But all PTA mums insist they’re not cliquey, must be someone else.another PTA

SE13Mummy · 15/05/2018 22:23

I've helped in the past, with discos, fairs, cake sales, quiz nights and other events but I'm a full time teacher, so is DH and I no longer teach so locally which means I miss all the after school events. Saturdays we're not local and Sundays rarely have school events. I've become less enthusiastic recently about supporting the events because I don't agree with what the funds are being raised for - endless ipads.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/05/2018 22:24

Yes I'm too busy

Yes it's too cliquey

Those that say it's not cliquey are invariably part of the clique.

It's always arranged around SAHP hours. Always. Like anyone with a job is a freak

SweetieBaby · 15/05/2018 22:24

Well it cannot possibly be all PTAs can it? How many schools in the UK? Thousands? And every single PTA is cliquey? Just not possible.

Same as in every other walk of life. Some people are nice, some not so much.

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