To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

Well at school pick up the pta stand in their group looking down their noses at the rest of us. So yes I'm dying to help there

If you want help. Get there early at pick up and talk to other parents. If you are approachable your more likely to get the help you need.

I will happily contribute financially.

But time is very scarce and precious. I work full time and travel a lot with work. I choose to spend the time I have at home being with my loved ones.

I also do not much care for the cliquey nature of the PTA and other such groups.

Those of you bleating on about others making "excuses", congratulating yourselves on being "givers" whilst judging those who aren't in the PTA as "takers", "lazy" etc etc.
You have not acknowledged any of the posters who have stated that at thier child's school the PTA insist on holding all meetings and events during the school day when working parents are usually at work. What exactly do you expect those of us in this position to do?
Most parents who work FT have to save all their annual leave to cover school holidays and use up every ounce of goodwill, call in favours and stay late/come in early in the hope of being able to attend the odd assembly, sports day, concert, parents lunch and all the other events that schools organise at short notice during the school day on the assumption that every child has a parent at home.
If you see the world in such simplistic, black and white terms that being in the PTA automatically makes you a "giver", a selfless, caring, wonderful human being but not being in the PTA automatically makes you a selfish, lazy, ingrate who doesn't give a shit about their child's school then you have a very narrow view of the world and very little empathy.

I work school hours and then work again when the children are in bed. Weekends The children alternate with their dad, so the weekends I have with them I wouldn’t give up to volunteering as that time is so precious. So unless an event falls on a weekend they are with their dad I have zero free time to help! Why is that so hard to understand?

I took a rare day off to sort a mortgage appointment and also went to the pool, in the changing rooms I heard two mums loudly complains t about how they had so few volunteers for school events. Yet they couldn’t see that they were some of the few parents who actually had free time to swan around at the gym. Most parents round here both work.

Also, because sometimes I am rather unimpressed how the pta spend the funds they do raise. It seems to go on crap like being able to dish out packets of crisps on the trip to the panto rather than play equipment /books etc.

I already have to take time off work just to attend the fete!

My evenings are spent on admin and housework (me and OH both work nearly-FT). Weekends are spent with the kids since we barely see them during the week.

I did approach the head and suggest they offered the option for parents to set up a standing order, or a “wish list” so parents could buy specific things, but they haven’t taken up this idea.

Ill health and being disabled,I still make cakes and cookies for all of the bake sales if I can and we always donate things for the adult and child tombolas and bottles for the bottle tombola(we usually give a couple of bottles of wine and a couple of bottles of fizzy drinks)and we spend a small fortune at every single bake sale,fete,book stall they have and we always help tidy up at the end of any event were at.

I wish I could help more.

I'm on the preschool committee, the Scout committee (even though I have no children of an age eligible for beavers, cubs or scouts yet), I volunteer in a community charity shop, I'm studying for another degree and I help out at two toddler groups.

I can safely say by the time that my eldest reaches school, I probably will be so jaded, I won't want to do anything.

Full time job inc shift work, 3 kids inc a 5 yr old, husband away for 6 months, secretary of local Scout group.

No time to be honest and if I do have time I haven't got anyone to mind the 5 yr old or it's after her bedtime.

In my experience I did it for 18 months and it wrecked mine and my DD's life and very nearly killed my relationship with DH.
I got no thanks from school despite raising thousands with other women who gave up their time for free and then to top it off the Chair of the bloody thing who was stepping down by her own choice got militant when people put me forward and set about spreading toxic rumour and lies round the school.
I was also seen as one of those Mums who I noticed others not involved in the PTA ran a mile from as they always assumed I would be after something like help or a cake baking or some such.
We moved schools last year and I have flatly refused to be involved in the one here. It's only recently they desperately want to have a year 6 prom but can't afford a DJ and I happen to be able to borrow equipment I can play on to do it for them for free but even that got a face from DH.
I know my situation was extreme but they do have that "Patti Simcox off grease" keen persona which grates on other mums who haven't got the time and are then left feeling crap because of it

I work full time and am a single mum. I used to volunteer for these sorts of things but it was a thankless task that actually earned very little for the school so I decided I would rather have precious quality time with DD.

Volunteered 3 years running, got given the 'school uniform stall' - 10 bags of screwed up uniform and a tiny table. Not spoken to unless I forced someone to and having been left with the majority of the clothes (weird hey? Seeing as they looked like shit) was told I would need to dispose of it. This was around a FT job, husband on shifts and no family closer than 300 miles away. So, no, they can fuck off. From my experience it's an excuse to act like you're 'in' with the teachers and trot around with a clipboard, whilst loudly organising the post-fete party with selected other mummies. Hideous.

Not everyone enjoys school events. I really can't stand them. My kids, especially when younger, have wanted to go so I'll duly fulfil my slot (even with baby strapped to front). But I personally hate it and find it quite stressful having to make chit chat while "working" on fair stalls etc.

Because I am knackered from work and kids and commute and often can't make the PTA meetings. I always donate cakes, prizes etc and help at events / setting up / clearing up when I can. But I won't be this summer because there are 2 fairs on the same day (2 kids different schools) and we have long-standing plans that evening. Last time I helped in the day (after kids' morning activities) and then had plans that evening,I felt crap and exhausted by the evening and it ruined our plans.
I feel guilty for not having joined the PTA but I know I couldn't manage it so no point in kidding myself. I would so much rather give £50 at the start of the year and be done with it, although appreciate not everyone can afford that.

I don't actually care if there's a summer fete or not.

That's not a great attitude. Things funded by the p.t.a or whatever else they are called are of benefit to the school (therefore your children). They fund a lot of extras not funded by the l.e.a. that enrich pupils school lives.

Quite often though, some of those that are too busy to man a stall at an event for a bit usually aren't too busy to attend it Plus they are often quite vocal about what's wrong with the event or what could've been done better
We live in a low income catchment area so we plan events most families wouldn't be able to afford easily (myself uncluded) without the school/PTA doing them e.g. Fireworks Displays. Still find it hard to get volunteers when you'd think they'd see the benefit to he community. [Sad]

I volunteer where I can but DH and I work alternate weekends so there's no one to look after our children and they're too young to help.

We do donate cakes etc and I teach my daughter's class French every week and teach Spanish at my son's nursery so I'm doing my best!!

I'm amazed at all the people saying "I work full time".

I work full time. It I can spare an hour to help with a PTA event a few times a year. It is always the same parents who help out.

I have been strongly encouraged to join the PTA, and we do have a lovely, friendly PTA so I probably would have enjoyed it. But, DS had a lot of problems at primary school, so I felt it would be a bit awkward to be dealing with parents in a PTA capacity whilst also trying to keep my head down following whatever DS's latest escapade was. I did plan to join for the three years that DD was still there after DS had left (it's a three-year commitment) but then we decided to send her to do her final year of primary at secondary school instead so I only had two years available.

I do volunteer for lots of activities when they need extra adult helpers, and I enjoy it a lot. It's probably the best of both worlds tbh, I get to join in and be useful but I don't need to do all the planning work.

I really would not care if all PTA events got cancelled and they just sent a fundraising letter each term instead saying, we are looking to raise x, y or z for the school please give generously

THIS - tbh

Also - absolute lack of clarity or accountability on what the money is going to be raised for.

A year or two back the committee included some slightly more intelligent direct people - they sent an envelope home in September saying please send in any unused foreign currency; we are collecting to buy XYZ art materials. We'd been to Wales, so I sent them £20 Precise ask for specific purpose.

I work and tbh don't value their work highly enough to give my precious free time to them. I don't care if there's never another Summer/Christmas fair again - they're always crap and I would rather just donate some cash towards the new mini bus or whatever, than have to wander round one of these events and come home with a load of platic tat 'jewellery' and dubious home made cakes. Actually, yes I would pay not to go .

Years ago when I was on Mat Leave I was asked along to a 'planning meeting' in one of the member's homes to see if I wanted to join - I had just moved to a new area/new school so it seemed a good way to make friends. But honestly, I was horrified at how much everybody fitted the PTA stereotype - it was basically a wine-fuelled bitch-fest about other school mums. Then towards the end of the evening, as each 'friend' left, she would be the next one to be slated. When the last little group left (including me), they actually stopped in the host's driveway to slag her off before going their separate ways

I work full time (as do all our pta committee) and still help with PTA events. We now make it so each class does a stall at the summer fair and the class has to sort it between themselves with support from pta where necessary. The children are expected to contribute to helping with the stall to.

"If you see the world in such simplistic, black and white terms that being in the PTA automatically makes you a "giver", a selfless, caring, wonderful human being but not being in the PTA automatically makes you a selfish, lazy, ingrate who doesn't give a shit about their child's school then you have a very narrow view of the world and very little empathy."
I don't think this is being said, its not about being in or out of the PTA its about being supportive/not supportive of the PTA. Most on here seem to do what they can when they can.

There's always a lot that say they would rather donate rather than volunteer but I wonder how many do actually just give a donation I lieu of time. Not many I'd guess.

Most just have excuses as to why they don't have time or why the school doesn't need it but there are a few thankfully that are selfless and make time to ensure the school and it's children benefit. The rest just moan and criticise it seems.

I work ft as a teacher at a different school to my dcs. I also run a brownie pack (with a couple of friends). I'm busy. So while I might be able to help for a short time, I would rather not tbh. I'll pay for stuff, and honestly I'd rather just send money than have to come to the event, sorry.

Try targeting some of the dads. Dh has a lot more time than I do. He probably wouldn't help unless it was something he was actually interested in, because he feels less guilt about saying no than I do.