To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

We always donate whatever is asked for though be that cash or items for fund rasing.

I was on the PTA for 7 years, however between folk swanning in at events to take over and grab the glory and cliquey, bitchy women behaving more like the kids than the parents, I'd had enough. I left them to it.

I just wanted to check in the meaning of the words 'voluntary' and 'volunteer'? They do no to in fact mean compulsory do they?

Right, then people join in if they want to and are able to. That is all.

Because I work full time and I would far rather give money, even significant sums of money than give up what free time I do have. My son is also disabled so he cannot attend the pta events unless I or my husband are with him, and many of the events (bouncy castle, anything like throwing at coconut shys, school discos etc are not accessible to him). That itself is depressing, but life. He also physically can't help and many events and those he can attend I would rather he enjoyed.

Taking all of that into account no thank you. I do sometimes man cake stalls, but I cannot commit until typically 30 mins before as my job can have very tight deadlines and if I am against one cake will have to wait.

I did however join the governors as I had a fairly unique set of skills where I could add real value, when almost anyone could help at the PTA. Not a boast but the school sent a request out for people with experience in any one of 6 areas, and I had 5 covered.

Our PTA hold all their meetings at 6pm; we're a commuter village so I'm not even back in the village by then. I've asked them to hold some meetings later, say 8pm, then i can get DS into bed, both parents can get home and eat and then come out. Nope, teachers have to attend and they want to stay after school to attend and there's not enough interest from those who do attend in a later meeting. So it's a catch 24 - the existing members who are self employed / work locally / don't work, complain about non-involvement from parents who can't get to their blasted meetings. I'm happy to do "behind the scenes" things - stick raffle ticket numbers onto prizes etc. but need to go to the meetings to express interest / collect the stuff I'd need so it's never going to happen. I work FT so meetings straight after school etc. aren't an answer. I'm sure I remember my school PTA holding later meetings that our school does. We also don't have any family local, so I could only go on a night when DH is at home as we have no other childcare and I can't take DC to the meeting.

I do help out when it's not on a work day and doesn't clash with another long-standing commitment. But all the PTA meetings are in working hours, and so are many of the events (3.20 straight after school is the he usual time).

Because I can't be bothered with all the petty politics and only being welcome if your face fits.

That’s a really good point about making it clear what the funds are used for - we pay for lots of school trips, as well as uniform etc for families who wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise, maybe we don’t make this clear enough.

Thank you to all, it is really useful to get other perspectives!

Because the head of my PTA is an absolute bitchtits who has consistently blanked me for nearly ten years now, despite our DC being friends and us living opposite her for over two years.

I offered to help in the early days, and never got a response. Her increasingly passive aggressive emails go straight to junk mail now.

I appreciate you're not like that OP, but I think so many people get their fingers burnt by cliquey shit, that they just don't want to offer their time again. This PTA was very definitely a Queen Bee & I didn't fit, because I had other things to offer.

How to improve it? Ask people what skills they have, and see if you can use them better. Make timeslots very definite (as you have done). Encourage the PTA to be a bit more of a social thing, not just asking for time on a stall, because people feel more valued that way.

Normally I do - along with at least a couple of mornings in school volunteering every week and being on hand for anything else they might need an extra bod for.

There's one set of events that they run though (one was this week coincidentally) that because of how they age-split the event to spread the numbers out a bit and how the ages of my kids fall, I can't help with at present - child care for the child who can't attend that session slot between the pair of us means that we can't free up a spare person to volunteer for it (they try not to have you helping when you're meant to be supervising your child at the event - and my kids aren't sensible ones you'd trust to do that either and need a light dose of helicoptering). When they can both attend the same timeslot for that event next year I'll help at the opposite timeslot.

Trying desperately to avoid having to stand for any of the responsible positions next year though - really really don't want to do it but loads of parents have kids leaving the school.

We do very tight rotas though where you sign up in half an hour slots to make sure some poor bugger's not stuck running the tombola for the entire afternoon.

I don't get upset at those who don't do anything - unless they're just stood whining about events at the school gates but doing naff all to contribute - that does naff me off.

Has not secured my child star roles in school plays (well she was a superstar as a sheep and a chicken in my eyes), me guaranteed slots on school trips (I fill in the forms for those saying I'll go as a parent helper if they need an extra adult but don't worry at all about me being a parent who gets huffy if they don't go - cos going on trips is overrated) or any of the other conspiracy theories that go around about PTA membership.

I'd love to, but working ft, with commute, I can barely keep on top of homework, the house, the kids' activities and so on without one of these commitments on top.

I actually was a school governor and also sat on a mental health trust forum before I had kids, but I don't feel I could do it again until both kids are old enough to take themselves places, manage their own workload, etc, which is at least 5 years off.

I find it stressful when I do volunteer I have to say . Doing the rota is also annoying as people forgot or ignore

And trust me it’s not all sahm where we are

The fairs themselves are carnage and I seem to find they make me Socially anxious on so so many levels !

So I do my bit but find it .... draining 😱

So many reasons.... Because I'd much rather give the school £100 at the start of the year and have done with it. Although really i'd much much rather the state education system was properly funded.... The fundraising activities are all things that I hate attending (never mind organising), the people who run the pta are not people I'd choose to hang out with socially (so I'm not going to do it for fun/socialness)and I work full time in the NHS and I'm fucking knackered

I volunteer two mornings a week, every week, to support the children with literacy and numeracy. I'd rather gouge my own eyes out than be involved with the sort of women who run our PTA. There is nothing appealing at all about spending time with sniping vipers who never left the playground. I've got all the time in the world for the women who, like me, are in school offering whatever support they can to assist the children educationally, because they're lovely and interested. Women who bolster their self esteem by being bullish, self-important and reducing staff to tears I can happily leave.

Because I work full time shift work , earlier lates and nights , with a 100 mile commute each way, that means every time I go to work I’m out of the house for 14 hours minimum . Because I have a minimum fitness requirement for that job that takes longer and more effort to reach every year. Because transporting 4 DCs to 4 different locations every day takes another chunk out of my time. Because If I want to book annual leave for anything , I need to know about it a year in advance, so short notice meetings ain’t gonna happen . Two days or a weeks notice is bugger all use to me . I’ll happily make cake , or send in prizes for the school fair , or grown out of uniform . I’ve donated copious amounts of dressing up kit to the reception classes , and coats to go in the emergency coat cupboard . But time , that I simply don’t have.

Honestly, because I just don’t want to spend my time doing it. I don’t work full time, I’m not too busy, I just don’t want to. I would give money towards a specific fundraiser happily though.

I did at primary and enjoyed it.

At secondary, I volunteered at the start and helped a few times but they have stopped requesting help now, not sure if it is personal (hopefully unlikely), or just disorganised (pretty likely). No pick ups or anything go on so I have very little contact with other parents now.

I don't volunteer because I am a trustee for a charity and that has all the spare bits of voluntary time and energy that I have around F/T job, 3 children, caring responsibilities for elderly parents, managing own health and wellbeing. DH always runs a stall though, he likes doing it.

I would be more likely to volunteer if:
-the purpose of the events was for generating a bit of community spirit rather than extracting more money from parents;

• there was just a smidgen of awareness amongst the PTA that not all people are minted SAHPs, and that the events they run are excluding to about 25% of the families because it costs too much
• monies raised were for stuff more important than nice-to-haves

Secondary school always sent round envelopes for donations at the beginning of the year- suggested £10 per child. I gladly stuck £20 in. Primary school endless emotional blackmail to get involved in scant free time with the same clique in charge did my head in. Did volunteer with Brownies, Guides, endless cake bakes, school trip escorting. Never knew the PTA fund anything useful- life size pirate ship for the playground that lasted about a term, (while the library remained empty) lots of willow-woven sculpture that died. Why don't PTA fund books, music, toasters etc? Why always such poncy luxuries?

yes i do give money here and there, although not a regular donation. I wish I could do more tbh

It's a hell of a lot of non-SAHM on our PTA to be honest. They're decent and an OK laugh - bit cliquey but that's common with our school when they've been together as a cohort since nursery and my kids came into the school later on and it's not maliciously meant. I made a point of going along to it all to get to know names and faces when my kids transferred into the school - despite the fact I have absolutely crippling social anxiety.

Love the way this is sinking into the usual SAHM-hate though.

Our PTA seems to be well organised and do a range of activities. However things like school disco and film nights are a logistical nightmare for me as I have 3 kids. It’s bad enough working out how to get my kids to/from them and look after the others that aren’t going so volunteering is impossible. Husband has a big commute and weekend time is precious and full of other things we do.

Meetings are always in a pub, with emphasis on getting pissed as well as arranging stuff. It always starts before dh home too. It’s just a massive turn off, sorry.

I really would not care if all PTA events got cancelled and they just sent a fundraising letter each term instead saying, we are looking to raise x, y or z for the school please give generously, I honestly would give generously. With 3 kids I do give generously for all the activities anyway. This would mean the school gets the money and I get my time back.

When my youngest starts school I will be volunteering my time running an after school club. The school have asked for volunteers to do this anyway. I work in a secondary school as a science tech and I feel my time would be better spent engaging primary school children in a science club one evening a week.

If I had the time I would also volunteer to help with reading for an hour or too. I think this is much more worthwhile than raising a few quid on the tombola to subsidise yr6 leavers bbqs etc.

Running a farm which takes up more and more time every year. Also having a dd with some additional needs (meaning a lot of extra time spent on school work, mental health and finding activities to make her stronger and boost her confidence) and one with frequent ill health and having several chronic conditions myself means there's no time left at all. Often we can't always make all the events but do try and get dd1 to as many as possible but often that's either her friends DM takes her or we do but arrive late or can't stay for it all, so again not much help as a volunteer.
I have the greatest respect for those who do manage to find the time I'm sure they are all busy too.

At first it was because I was already Chair of another charity organisation. Then when I went back to work full time all events seemed to be held on days I was working (I worked Saturdays). Evenings I had childcare issues as dh worked away.

Ironically now I do have time (don’t work weekends) there is no PTA at ds’s secondary school though I try & support music/drama events by helping with costumes etc.

I work full time. It's not so much the not having time, more I try to de-stress my life. Not add to it.

I don't give it much thought but I won't be talked into it.