To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

Faultymain's reasons are all the ones I would have given. My child isn't at school yet but I dread the day I have to think about this.

Can you just say to the school that unless each class mans a stall (and therefore sort the staffing ) it’s a no go ?

I volunteer and work FT . It’s a few days a year max

Sprinkle, sorry I was ranting, you are a governor and give time elsewhere i get that. I don't get why any post like this is always full of reasons why people can't help rather than reasons that would make someone who doesn't help do anything at all. so for unpredictably even for example bring in one shop bought cake to just one event a year etc.

Because I work full time and all events are held during the school day or straight after school. Plus I already volunteer for another organisation.

I’d rather just hand over £20 to be honest.

Because I work full time and the internal politics are notorious for snowflakery. I get paid to deal with that shit in my work, I’m not doing it in my precious free time.
I have helped out at events though and will in the future if I can.

I'm not even sure what the PTA does tbh. I haven't got involved because I work fulltime, either commuting into London or abroad, usually Asia. I contribute to a school fund for books/equipment but I wouldn't want to get further involved.

Because I work full time and am rarely home before 7:30pm. Then I have to supervise homework/spellings/school bags etc for the next day. On a good day, I might get to sit down and eat around 9pm. But I get up at 5:30am for work, so often I just have a packet of crisps for tea and go to bed.

I’m at work when the PTA have their coffee mornings to have a good bitch about the working mums who don’t help.

But I did volunteer at the KS2 disco, taking half a days holiday to do so and help out at weekends at DS’s rugby club.

Because I am fucking lazy. I work full time and be arsed. I don’t attend any of the fetes/bake sales etc as I am at work. I can’t take time off for them as I have to save my precious time off for the school holidays.

I would rather stick pins in my eyes than join the pta. I am selfish and lazy, hope that answers your questions.

I work full time and am the Chair of Governors, so that's my voluntary help for the school sorted really.

While people who work full time do still have weekends and evenings, that time will be more precious as it's the only time they get.

If you needed helpers during the school day, the SAHPs of school aged dcs might be more willing to give up a bit of their more extensive free time than the WOHPs who's free time isn't all that great.

If you have younger dcs and work full time, giving up some of that family time seems a bigger ask. Similarly, if you don't work and have lots of spare time in the school week "to do your own thing", it can feel excessive to ask someone to look after your dcs so you can do some volunteering, when you could do volunteering in the week while you don't have the dcs.

I don't get involved in the school PTA. It's all evenings and weekends. I do go into the school one afternoon a week to help with reception aged dcs reading, and when they do swimming, I'll give up another couple of hours every week for 10 weeks to go with them to help get the kids changed. I'll go along to help out on school trips - so long as I'm back in time to pick up other dc.

I'd give up more school day time if the PTA needed anything specific - but I'm not going to ask DH to give up weekend overtime because of a school event.

Because I have kids and no one else to look after them. I could volunteer but then I would have to bring my two primary aged kids with me.

I have volunteered a lot in the past but that was when I worked part time.

Because I work full-time in a stressful job and juggle 2 small kids (one with SEN) around shift work, and both children still regularly have me up most nights, so I'm usually permanently knackered. Non work time is generally spent trying to do cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry etc, and general 'life admin'. Any free time I get left after that, which is generally not much, is usually filled by me wanting to see friends and family, which, if I'm honest, is more important to me than the school summer fayre.

It's also easy to say the volunteer slots are 'just' 45 minutes, but I know from previous experience there's also planning meetings and e-mails and lots of messages to organise things on the day thrown in on top of that (probably with the usual WhatsApp group messaging hell of having to receive 20 tedious and irrelevant messages a day with Margaret and Barbara debating what cakes they should do for the cake stall etc and feel the need to involve the entire WhatsApp group in this).

The posters who say they would rather give £X per month than volunteer for the PTA. Do you actually do this?

No, because that's not the system in placs, but I send in donations/prizes for events and turn up and spend money at them, pay for ds to attend PTA disco etc etc. That is donating money. I just think that lots of people would be happier if schools just said "Look - we know that baking cakes, remembering to bring in specific donation items and coming to events is a faff. How about we don't bother and you all just give us a tenner?"

I never did any PTA stuff because I simply wasn't interested in the summer fayre or whatever. Neither were the DC.

You could try saying if more parents don't pitch in, it won't happen, but I doubt many people would be that bothered to be honest.

Evenings and weekends aren’t even hat precious theyre for cleaning, card writing, present shopping, family visiting, car washing, lawn mowing, wardrobe decluttering, haircutting, etc etc etc

I was keen, volunteered at pre school, got sweet-talked very quickly into being treasurer despite working 2 jobs with 2 kids under 5... and burnt out.

I've therefore stayed away from school PTA. Got the t shirt...

Some of these PTAs sound genuinely awful and I'm sure they exist but I do also think some find it easy to trot out the old 'too cliquey' excuses to justify not being arsed.
I like our PTA, meetings done in an evening or over WhatsApp. Kids welcome and crafts/biscuits provided. Events low key like discos done in 1 hour shifts - so you either prep it, or do the disco or do the clean up. No xmas fair just ready wrapped gifts that children can buy for their carers, we all take x 50 gifts home and wrap them.
Money is used fairly - any department can put in requests and so far we've bought a defibrillator, phonics dictionarys, chrome books, sports equipment and subsidised trips.
I work full time too but they expect so little of you, it's not hard to squeeze in. I suppose it's the ones that just expect far too much where it becomes an isSue.

Our PTA holds meetings in a week day in the afternoon a lot of parents are working or have younger children so can't attend. It ends up being the same parents involved year in year out and is very cliquey.

Oh and for stalls at the fairs, our school doesn't bother making the PTA sort them all - each class has a class rep for coordination with the parents and teachers (not normally PTA), but the PTA sends them info on which stall their class has each year and then leaves it to them to sort it out with their class parents. Generally class reps want to avoid being dumped with it all so they will ask other parents in the class directly to take on a time slot, which tends to work better.

PTA only want to worry about it if they can't fill the stall.

I didn't really get involved with my daughter's PTA until Year 3 - which was actually her fifth year in the school because she started at Nursery. For me it was a mix of being a bit shy, unsure of 'how it all works', unsure of my abilities etc. Next September daughter will be in Year 6 and I am currently thinking of putting my name forward for Chair. I'm really nervous of doing it and there will be loads of newbie parents next September because we are a 3 class in take - just 1 when my girl started - that is a lot of people to introduce myself to and explain what the PTA does.
Sometimes we don't always want peoples time, and not just a token amount of money donated - we want basic cheap donations. For our Xmas fair we had a bottle tombola. Getting donations was hard - all we asked for was things like a 70p bottle of bubble bath. You can be a full time worker and have 'no free time' but you should be able to donate a blimmin bottle of bubble bath or one paperback book for the book swap. Schools can barely afford the basics. PTAs can provide extras.

Work fulltime
Would rather chuck a bit of cash at the problem
Being a martyr isn't my game

Some people are doers, some aren’t. You can’t force those that aren’t to contribute time. It’s a mindset thing.
Usually the people who do the most volunteering are the busiest (ft job, 3 kids inc sn, 3 or 4 time consuming voluntary roles) but the people who claim to be the busiest aren’t really interested in the reality of the situation. They don’t want to help, so they don’t. They might suffer a brief pang of discomfort if you laugh and point out that you are actually in the same ‘too busy’ position as them but with bells on, but it will only be momentary and they’ll be out the door as soon as they can.
I actually do admire their ability to say no. It makes their lives and their families’ lives much easier. No having to figure out someone to watch the kids while you volunteer, no having to eat at 10pm because you went straight from work to run youth groups, no having to miss sitting in the sun or making family plans of a Saturday because you are running an event, no apologizing to your partner for abandoning him for the forth weekend in a row. Just a quick ‘no sorry, too busy’. Job done.
I just have too much guilt though. The community benefits from extra-curricular for kids and youth, it benefits when the charitable sector fills the gaps left by the welfare state, and individual kids benefit hugely from community opportunities that parents don’t provide. The world is a much better place because of volunteers.
But yeah. Some are doers. Some aren’t.
It only really grates when those that have a well-practised ‘no sorry too busy’ have the temerity to complain when a voluntary ‘service’ has a glitch for want if volunteers. But a healthy sense of irony will get you through.

OP I'm hoping your query is for people who attend these events?

We don't and I can never see the point. If you want to donate to something, then it can be done without all the hoopla. Schooling seems to come with a lot of pointless associated stuff which is fine for people who enjoy it. I can see why you'd be annoyed if, for example, there was no event and people who weren't prepared to lend a hand then moaned about lack of events.

But I also wonder how many parents feel obliged to go or feel their DC will miss out in some way so only go for that?

Because all the members are huns.... because a lot of events are straight after school when I have three children with me. Meetings in the evening happen before dh is home so again I’m looking after three children.

I work full time and am a single mother to two boys one with sever health conditions so can't just be left with anyone