To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

I don't think there is. We don't all stand together tapping our broomsticks at once @lipstick. Seriously though our kids are all in different year groups so we aren't standing together being intimidating, we may have a chat on the way in or out but we are just normal people picking our kids up.
well we are funding reading books and stationery for use in lessons that the school can't afford, so not our preference at all. We would love to fund something exciting and fun for the children, but we just can't.

I’m just wondering as it’s your own observation that other parents avoid pta
There must be an actual or perceived reason other parents avoid your pta group

'Cause I already do lots of charity stuff already which takes up 2 evenings per week and about 1/2 or more of my weekends.

I honestly don't know. It's a difficult one!

In my experience pta is self serving
Eg numerous kids wanted to sell loom bands,at height of their fad, pta blocked it. Chosing pin the tail type activity
PTA aren’t funding the books, it’s in fact the parents who attend and spend who raise the money
I’ll turn up and overspend on cakes and tatt cause the kids like it

It is depressing how people feel the need to add unpleasant insults to their comments. Specific ones about their own particular PTA are fine- but the horrible generalisations are just unnecessary.

But they can only turn up and spend the money by us facilitating the events and that takes a lot of work. I understand the point you are making because my own kids attend and spend my hard earned money too.

There’s a recurrent theme here regard PTAs
Cliquey
Unpleasant
Unfriendly
How is it such a universal experience?how come so many posters cite these reasons

I work full time, volunteer for political groups I support and look after elderly parents. I did a year of PTA when DS was small but I just don't have the time to commit to anything more right now.

I work as a teacher full time (lots of teacher work load), run my own business part time ( but also have accounts etc to do), volunteer at Beavers- doing admin, emailing messages and support weekly... every night of the week except Friday I have things on with my 7 year, work Saturday mornings running a kids activity club, support where I can at school but simply not enough hours in the day.....

I know it annoys some people but I do think we need to talk about the introvert / extravert divide.

Volunteers - if you weren't doing PTA stuff, what would you be doing? a lot of you have already said you work many hours and volunteer elsewhere. Yes, you are a valuable member of society but what I get from this is also that you like people and social activities and if you weren't PTA-ing you would be with other people in some way - even if just pleasing yourself playing netball or down the pub. I don't mean to take away from your contribution but I think you fail to see how different it is to be an introvert and how these activities, especially ones where you dont have a clear "place", and just sort of lurk about, are so draining to introverts.

Suggestions to PTA type people:

• communicate online and have ways of signing up to specific things that are clearly defined and explained (like the OP)

• offer a cash get out, clearly. Those say "well have you donated already?" no, why should we? Explain you need money and what it is for; see what happens and offer a clear time / money trade-off

• offer introvert activities. Things that can be done alone in your own time, even at home, like wrapping things, stuffing envelopes etc.

• Be clear. Don't forget that not everyone is in the know.

• Don't do things for the sake of it. Know what the objectives are of any given event. If it's supposed to be fun - who's enjoying it? Be honest. If it's supposed to raise money - is it working?

• Look into your heart and be really clear why you're doing it. you personally

Because I work full time.

Because the cliques give me the rage.

Because I can't afford the time away from work to serve jail time.

The clique y unfriendly thing isn't my experience at all. If anything over welcoming and glad to have new members. Lots of working parents and evening meetings. Raises a lot for the school.

The reason I did it if honest with myself was guilt. I felt bad when I went to stuff, knew I could help and didn't. I didn't enjoy it much - who enjoys cleaning up at the end of events etc - would rather have not bothered but felt bad. And met a few really nice people and felt it was the right thing to do. Glad have ticked that box though.

AntiGrinch what an interesting post,thought provoking

I'm all for people giving up their free time to raise money for our school. I help when I can which is not often but I think they're great. I don't see cliques, I just see a group of people who have bonded by doing stuff together. Clique is such a childish school yard word.

Is it me or are groups of men rarely dubbed "cliques"

@LipstickHandbagCoffee
Those words aren't my experience at all;quite the opposite. The pta I know are friendly, a lovely bunch of altruistic people.
So, I think when people say they're cliquey etc, there's one of two reasons for it. 1. Their pta are completely different to any I've known 2. It's made up to justify their own lack of input.

Are there- i would say no 2. And no - men are rarely called cliquey

I have social anxiety
I live too far from school, dd catches the bus as it is
I avoid cliques like the plague.
I got enough stuff on my plate

"There’s a recurrent theme here regard PTAs
Cliquey
Unpleasant
Unfriendly
How is it such a universal experience?how come so many posters cite these reasons"

1. Sometimes because some PTAs are cliquey, unpleasant and unfriendly.
2. Sometimes because a group of people who have been doing something together for a while can look like a clique simply because they know each other, so the newcomer takes one look and bolts-both sides are perfectly well meaning, but need to put more effort in.
3. Sonetimes because the established people are not cliquey, unpleasant and unfriendly- they are just as socially awkward and shy as the newcomer, so nobody knows what to do.
4. Sometimes it's an excuse- "Oh, I would have helped, but they were too cliquey"
5. Sometimes the newcomer is horrid!

Good grief @Yorkshiretolondon do you sleep? I am somewhat in awe of your workload! I'm a lazy moo
@AntiGrinch nails it I think, a lot of people need to feel busy and useful in life and the PTA helps to fill that gap.

My DS started reception class last September so I popped along to the PTA agm to inquire about going on the helper list before joining the committee next year. In a funny turn of events I came away the chair! That lapse in judgement aside (had a 7 month old baby, was returning to work and about to start a uni course) I have found them so welcoming, vibrant and fun. Not at all cliquey here and, if anything, over eager to welcome new people. They have passion and commitment for the job. We managed to expand the committee by three all from the reception class at the same time (not going to lie, I completely dragged people in with me!).

In the past school year we have funded a huge amount of playground equipment that was 6 years in the fundraising, new maths equipment, ipad cases, a cozy reading corner, role play equipment and toys to reception class and new gazebos for school use. We have other projects in the pipeline too including a leavers party and books, a school bench and tree that the students have asked for. We work closely with the wonderful head teacher and school council to fund things they actually need and want.

This comes at a price though. The same members of the committee put in lots of work. I honestly couldn't do anything without the secretary who is amazing. Other members spend lots of time getting involved in individual aspects and running their own ongoing projects such as fortnightly bake sales etc. I now understand why people say they don't have time to be involved. I also have an antisocial husband so I get that some people would rather stick pins in their eyes that talk and interact with other actual people!

That said, more people volunteering to help at one event for 45 minutes once a year would be a tremendous help. We're currently trying to organise our first ever summer fayre. Trying to get volunteers from the village and other local organisations to help is like getting blood from a stone, despite everyone saying what a fantastic idea it is. We are two months away and I'm already panicking about how we'll staff it. We have loads of brilliant ideas for the day but minimal people to help. I have picked up some great tips here about online sign up and 45 minute shifts that we can implement but I worry it won't be enough. We are a very small village school with less than 100 kids but if even 10 more people would help it could be a raging success. I know I jumped in to this very naively thinking it would be an hour a month but if everyone offered an hour a year that would help. We do this to raise money for the kids and see them thrive after all. We all want the best for our children.

Three primaries and three really different experiences.

School one: I was a (full time) step mum working full time and in six years no one on the PTA spoke to me. We went to events and I tried my best to be friendly but the PTA chair pretended not to recognise me. DH became a Governor and said the headteacher sighed when he spotted her approaching. The mum friends I did make weren't involved in the PTA either. We are nice people!

School two: absolutely thriving PTA and school community. Brilliant events with plenty for parents as well as kids, held at weekends and in the evenings. I made some lovely, lovely friends. There was no PTA/others divide at all - it felt like a whole school effort. It was driven by class reps.

School three (current): I do what I can given a full time job when most events are held during the working day. The PTA itself is a hugely political animal - the co-chair just resigned over a difference of opinion with the other one over the direction of fundraising! Most of the committee is a small tight knit group of friends but I think that's because one person dragged their friends in to fill the roles no one else would do. It's a tiny place where lots of people already know each other and SAHMs are quite common, and the working mums often feel (and are judged) for not being able to help out with class trips etc and it would be great if the PTA could build relationships between those of us who are rarely at the school gate but there's an approach of doing what has always been done, including holding events on weekday afternoons.

OP, it must be very annoying. My own school did some good stuff that raised money without taking lots of time. There was a '100 club' (not sure it would be allowed now?) in which parents made a regular monthly donation and every month one person's name was drawn out to win £100. This was a secondary so loads of parents to take part. Also one of the teachers who had a talent for it put together a quiz every Christmas that you could buy a copy of. There was a very, very nominal prize but people did it for the fun and challenge, and bought it for relatives and friends too. So for that sort of thing you need a setter and markers, all things that can be done at home. That raised quite a bit. I still miss those quizzes!