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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

999 replies

whyismykid · 13/05/2018 15:40

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

OP posts:
MmeBoulaye · 14/05/2018 20:49

I’m my experience in my son’s former school, even non-working mums were slow to volunteer - it was generally the same team of about 6 mums for 3 years before we all wanted to step down and had a serious recruitment drive! A friend of mine, who I now see as more of an acquaintance was so lazy, not interested in helping and so self-absorbed even with 2 kids at the school, that I just see her as that and can barely socialise with her because she gets under my skin so much. It does show insight into a person’s character when you’re on a PTA.

Geordiegirl1988 · 14/05/2018 20:50

Because its boring and i work full time. I hate anything like that sort of thing and find it's a specific (busybody) type of person who relish these roles and love being on every bloody commitee

IrritableBitchSyndrome · 14/05/2018 20:51

I've had to pull out of helping the PTA in the past as it was mentioned last minute that children couldn't come too, and I had no childcare.

KindergartenKop · 14/05/2018 20:53

I come with a naughty toddler in tow. Whenever I try to do anything he runs away.

SidekickSally · 14/05/2018 20:55

I decided not to get too involved with the PTA as I work very long hours and wouldn't be able to devote enough time to doing it properly. Saying that I would be prepared to give up an hour or so to help out at the weekend if that is all it was. However, my DC's schools either don't do this or don't advertise this need for support well enough.

I would love to help more but have to draw the line somewhere and leave it to the parents who have a bit more time.

StopPOP · 14/05/2018 20:59

For me, I don't have time and I would find it really boring. I'm grateful to those that enjoy it and have the time but it's not for me.

BellsaRinging · 14/05/2018 21:02

Same as most-I work full time and would consider helping if I could make the meetings, but none of them are in the evenings/weekends when I could attend. I do help with Cubs when I can so its not a complete lack of interest!

GaynorGoodwin · 14/05/2018 21:04

I tried but found it extremely cliquey so never bothered again.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 14/05/2018 21:11

Why don’t I volunteer?
Because I’m busy
Pta are competitive and unpleasant I have nothing in common with them
The sessions they ask for are daytime,and exclude working parents
The pta are sahm who don’t work,they have the time & inclination to faff about
I don’t want to participate, I don’t really care about fete
The pta are cliquey and I don’t want to spend time with them

Timeoftheseason · 14/05/2018 21:12

My offspring are no longer school age but I would much rather have paid than the constant fete and cake sales.

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?
WinnersClub · 14/05/2018 21:15

I always join the PTA as it is such a great way to meet like minded people

GrinGrinGrin

stillcoolhonest · 14/05/2018 21:17

Same as a lot of people on here. Work FT, PTA is horribly cliquey. I've volunteered for a couple of things but was stuck out of the way both times with no particular job to do while the usual suspects did all the 'proper' jobs that don't make it feel like you just wasted precious time. Plus, they do bake sales and we actually received texts saying 'Mums! Don't forget to bake some cakes!'. DH was fucking livid, if anyone is baking in our house it's certainly not 'Mum' 🙄

tanyavt · 14/05/2018 21:20

My dd's secondary school asks at the outset for parents to give up some time for two fundraising events throughout the year... I was happy to give up a few hours for those two events.

At my ds' primary school I find it rather cliquey... would have helped if it was an hour slot at a time, but childcare (when they were younger) was always an issue.

I now give up about 3 hours a week volunteering with an after school club at their school, I figure that other parents can help out with the fundraisers as with two p-t jobs, studying, 3 children and volunteering, I am busy enough!

Mia1415 · 14/05/2018 21:22

I would love to help out at school events but I’m a single mum with no childcare

Lethaldrizzle · 14/05/2018 21:23

Bring the kids

Roversandrhodes · 14/05/2018 21:26

I’m a single parent with very little help,I also work .Plus it’s very cliquey so that would put me off even if I didn’t have the other reasons

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 14/05/2018 21:28

Hell I’d not inflict the PTA and their vacuous conversation and cliquey behaviour on my kids

llangennith · 14/05/2018 21:30

I’ve been on the PTA Committee the last three years. There are just six of us. It’s a thankless job but we do our best to raise money for the small primary where DGS goes.
People aren’t interested in coming to the meetings which are boring and always about the details of our next fundraising event. But we six try our best to stay upbeat.
We have about 15 stalwart helpers who we can call on to help at various events: thank goodness!

I didn’t volunteer for the PTA as I thought, like others, that it was for other people and not me. But I was co-opted on once and have stayed on.

Snowcatrunsthehouse · 14/05/2018 21:31

I work as does my DH. He commutes and is often abroad thus I’m a one woman juggling act most of the week. It’s the fate this weekend I’m working all weekend and DH will be going alone with 3 children. We are time poor but I do what I can in way of donating etc.
Honestly if I was off this weekend I would need to spend the time with my family as we have so little time together not manning the bbq at the fate.

Teeniemiff · 14/05/2018 21:41

I’ve helped out before as & when possible. What puts me off is the commitment to it, i have another child & my husband often works weekends. Whilst I am happy to help out, I wouldn’t want my husband to have to book annual leave for it when he has so little.
So when we’re asked if we can be involved in arranging & running activities for the year, I don’t know that I can really. Closer to the date I can let them know but that’s not always helpful when they’re wanting people to commit in advance to ensure it can be ran with different help.
We suggested at school that we have activities per year group, ran by that years parents. So if we don’t want to help out then it’s that years children that misses out

Flowersandbirds · 14/05/2018 21:48

Everyone is entitled to do what they want but I can’t help but feel it’s a bit crap. I work full time but still volunteer for things because it’s important for my kids to see that I value their school and that I’m willing to help out other people. Not everything has to be time consuming - you can buy cakes for the cake sale. You only have to give up 45 mins for a fair. Just set strict parameters about what you do.

MouseRatFan · 14/05/2018 21:50

I feel so downhearted after reading this! I am on the pta as are 5 other mums. We all work, in fact three of us are childminders who clock in up to sixty hours a week. I'm not bragging about my hard core work ethic Hmm, just that not all of us are sahm's.
I don't think we are cliquey, we just talk to each other in the playground because we are organising events or because it's a friendly face. Also a lot of parent's actively avoid us at all costs.
We work really hard so that we can replace books, pens etc that the school can't afford. We also tried the donation at the start of the year approach and hardly anyone donated.
I am feeling burned out with it all but I know no one else will take over and feel really guilty that the kids will miss out.

ConstantCraving · 14/05/2018 21:52

I value my DD's school - but I work FT, have a disabled daughter and terminally ill husband so the PTA isn't top of my list of priorities.... however we do attend the fayres etc and spend my hard earned cash on cakes so I do my bit.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 14/05/2018 21:56

Also a lot of parent's actively avoid us at all costs why?
Is there something in your group demeanour, behaviour that makes parents avoid you
Feel Guilty the kids will miss out will they?pta seems mainly to be about pta preference
I’d rather give money and have no participation.than the whiny pta emails

Honeybee79 · 14/05/2018 21:59

Because I work full time and already have quite hefty volunteer commitments for 2 charities. I can't do everything.