To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

I wouldnt expect anyone who worked full time to volunteer on the PTA ( even though at my DS's olsd school, quite a lot of people with full time jobs did volunteer) it's just too much and they're not at the school gates. Id say working full time is a good enough reason why you can't volunteer. It';s always the mums as well that get guilt tripped into doing the PTA too. The dads all do the governors which is less work and more prestige.

Because I work a full time, national role, live 10 miles away from the school and PTA meetings are always scheduled for a Wednesday at 3pm or some other ridiculous time.

Boulty my DC’s school’s PTA has just spent the money they’ve spent the last three years raising - on something for Year 1. He’s about to leave now (Year 3). It has been a slow process! I’m grateful that so far they haven’t needed to spend the funds on basics, I suppose, like exercise books etc, as the school hasn’t been so impoverished.

Honestly, I work FT and I’m exhausted. When my kids were smaller (primary) I did class rep / organised Christmas Fair etc ... but then the kids wanted to go to these things. Now they are all at secondary I’m much less involved, although I think it’s very important I just haven’t the energy. I’m a single parent with other responsibilities, I feel much less attached and involved with the schools (different ones) and so I make payments of money rather than give my time. It’s a bit of a cop out ; I accept that .

@raisedbyguineapigs

The dads all do the governors which is less work and more prestige.

Laughing at this. Being a gocernor takes less time? I was in school for hours every month - committee meetings, full governing body meetings, meetings with Head, department liason meetings, appeals, interviews, pay reviews.

I did crossing patrol (volunteer lollypop lady) for 4 years, every Friday morning from 7am to 8am, including in the pitch dark and minus 15 degrees November to February...

I did it because it was worth doing in my eyes, unlike manning a cake stall or being class rep. Also it was a set in stone regular thing so I could have a standing arrangement not to work early shifts on Fridays. Random evenings or weekend daytime events on unpredictable dates are far harder to make sure you're available for when you work shifts.

I'm so glad this topic has come up. In the past I've volunteered as an occasional helper for PTFA events - and always regreted it. The official PTFA members either ignored or heavily patronized those that, like me, were helping as a one-off, re-arranging cakes/sweets/books that we'd set out for a stall. Just damn rude. Oh, and there was the time I stepped in at the last moment to man a busy stall for what turned out to be the whole afternoon... only to be told I wasn't allowed to count my takings. Wtaf.

It made me chuckle when I overheard them lamenting the lack of parent volunteers a couple of months ago. I refuse to give up my time to feel crap about myself

If I was a SAHM I would. As it is, I work around 50 hours per week, so I don't.

I help at almost every event - I am rubbish at ideas and decisions and meetings (a bit pathetic, I know), so have never joined the PTA itself, but have always made it clear they can ask me to help at anything. Our PTA has even offered 30 minute slots at the Summer Fair, to try to make it easier for parents to volunteer, but it's still a really hard task finding people. It's the usual suspects every time. As with any issue, there are some really genuine reasons that some people can't volunteer, but I don't like the "I don't care if the event goes ahead or not" attitude, because I assume most schools are like ours, in that the PTA events raise money for the school, which directly benefits the children. Some people can't help because they have young children they have to look after, but there are plenty at our school who just want to spend the entire time as a family, even though the kids are old enough - and in a safe environment - to go wandering on their own for a bit. Unfortunately, asking for help is always going to be a hard slog. I hope you get some good ideas from here (no pearls of wisdom from me - I told you I was rubbish at ideas!)

At primary-

I worked full time
It was a national role
I was living out of hotels up to 4 nights a week
Meetings were always at 3pm on a week day
The activity was on a weekday
The PTA were such a clique (sorry but they were!)

I did everything else asked! Even getting up at 3am to bake two cakes before I left at 6am, so my ds had cakes to take to school. (Got in at 11pm the night before, and needed some sleep!)

I like to think i do my bit, often donate things to the school itself like old books as they're building up a library, and volunteer my time to help out with trips and for reading and maths with the little ones on a Friday when I'm off.
I love the kids and like to help them where I can, just don't like their parents which is why PTA activities are my idea of hell. Our current one is being run by a self declared chair who just seems to use the opportunity to market her MLM business.
I still throw lots of guilt money at the PTA though so they do OK from me!

In my case it’s because the events are often at inconvenient times (like tea time) and I don’t have someone to watch the chn.

I’m a teacher so I fully grasp the good fundraising the ptfa do and how much it’s needed but as a parent I’d much prefer just handing over £40 each year to them and then they leave me alone and I don’t need to be made to feel guilty for being unable to help or attend events.
That may sound blunt but that’s me!!

I don’t think I could help if my son’s school asked. I work full time, am a single parent, studying for a degree and out 2 nights a week volunteering
I just don’t have time to do more

My partner is disabled and has anxiety about being left alone and also anxiety about being in crowds/with strangers so I would find it impossible to help out. Also my school is very tight with the cliques and I haven’t been made welcome as I don’t work. If they bothered to talk to me they’d find out why I’m a doley scumbag and not assume it’s because I don’t want to work. I’m very restricted with what I can do for the school

I have no kids but I ended up helping out my friend who is in charge of her pta at Xmas. I organised the grotto and a Santa and I dressed as an elf. real Shame that the parents wouldn't step forward! I have a disclosure so was able To Help but she would have been stuck otherwise.

A number of reassons
I have 4 children
My dp works full time so when he's home its our family or our time together depending what time he finishes.
No one at the school gate talks to me anyway it's very clicky.

I understand how you feel, doing all the work and perhaps your school is a kinder place. I made a point of helping and doing my bit, but had to put up with some awful snubs from the ruling clique. After that I helped on the day but avoided the meetings like the plague. Even when you do help, the "regulars" won't let you do much and spend their time dropping hints about how much more they have done. Huge relief that my sentance for this kind of thing has nearly been served.

I don’t because I work full time (and very long hours, often don’t get home til after 9pm). My time with my family is precious to me and weekends are used catching up with the zillion things I need to get done. I always financially contribute to the million things the pta put on.

I would like to help (my kids would love me to be a mum that comes in and reads etc) but it’s just not possible.

I really appreciate the parents that do though. Same as all the clubs my 3 kids attend!

Isn't a clique just a group of people who know each other. Just barge your way in! That's what I do. I don't care who's mates with who. And also what is a 'national role'?

As soon as I saw the contents on the thread, I literally cringed inwardly 🤤🤤🤤
Tried to 'infiltrate the ring of the PTA' with first DC. NEVER AGAIN !!!
Far too clique, nose turning and general snobbery ...
With the constant & repeated requests for my 2nd DC, now have NO qualms AT ALL about refusing.
I believe in Karma - choose not to mix with fake/pushy people 😁😁😁

The "ladies" in my daughters school are disgusting human beings. They act as if I am scum because I will not tolerate bullying. They have been heard to slag alot of people off and bitch and they declare it's OK because the are on the pta so are untouchable. They slagged off people with out much money and make fun of people's appearances. I help out with things at my own parish which is the one i grew up in. Miles and mailed away. However when I did join the school uneducated to the playground cows I gave my name and number thinking they would benefit from my help and experience in event planning and they said if I made the list of people the thought could be useful they would call. 6 years later still waiting. So when putting a post like this maybe think in future how you come across beca user as sure as shit is shit no one with self respect will offer any help. Primary schools are the devils spawn especially when the women wear running gear but never actally do any running.

I have a 7 year old and 3 year old twins,one of which still wakes alot at night so we're often sleep deprived. We both also work and have a house to run plus hobbies for our girl's to sort weekly and homework. Our spare time is family time....just no other spare time for anything else. We tell our pta alot how much we appreciate them but ours is lucky as they have about 20 volunteers. Some people are busy and tired and some just don't fancy this kind of thing. It must be hard at times but there's not much you can do about it except keep advertising so volunteers xx

I have volunteered in the past bit got rude comments when I stopped due to working ft.
Now I just cannot be arsed which is fair enough IMO. It IS voluntary which means people don't need to have a reason.

Have your PTA meeting on a different day each time. I only work on Friday and all meetings seem to be on a Friday!

spending a lot of time doing other more specialised voluntary work, no family to help look after children to go to meetings, cliquey, was happy to do a stint on a stall or make a cake, spare time I needed to do housework, things with the kids, but when they were older I did volunteer in school listening to reading etc