To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

I try not to say ‘I don’t have time’ about anything because the truth is I choose how I spend my time. I have a limited amount and I am responsible for the choice. I say ‘I’m not available’ or ‘I am doing something else with my time that day’. It’s not that I don’t have time for X, it’s that I think Y is more important.

"you do what all the other parents volunteers are doing, letting their dc just run around."

That's a luxury you don't have with some children.

Loving all these people very rudely saying how rude PTA people are!

Whilst answering, I also did the admin for the extra-curricular admin I do. There is always something that needs doing. And gets done.

Also not sure how many people you'd like to get admin done. If we all volunteered to do so, you'd still be short of volunteers for the more practical side.

I'm really surprised by that @kitkatsky.

Normally organisations jump at the chance of a bit of admin help, which can be done evenings.

A friend of mine who wants to do her bit, but is far too shy to man a stall, took over the organising of supermarket vouchers. Takes her about an hour a month, just in an evening at home. I think she makes a few thousand pounds for the school.

There's normally something that everyone can do to help, regardless of your situation.

Reading this thread is putting me off. I don’t volunteer because the meetings are on a day I can’t attend as I’m looking after my dds (dd1 still preschool age). Also I don’t know any of the other mums really so I’d orobably just be stood there on my own (like whenever I see the other mums!) and it would be boring.

Bertrand: Loving all these people very rudely saying how rude PTA people are!

In fairness, people started getting rude after firstly being called selfish, lazy and more recently twats. We can't all be Michelle Obama and stay high when others continue to go low. And why the hell should they? No-one comes off wee on this page.

I used to volunteer for fundraisers at my kids nursery and it was an utterly horrible experience. I was left on my own doing the work for hours with nobody talking to me or relieving me from my post to participate myself with my kids for even 10 minutes. This put me off joining the school committee. I also work FT now so feel I couldn’t cope with more commitments. I am happy to support fundraising by turning up to things and spending money on whatever is asked. I didn’t grow up in the town we live in, neither did my DH. I find everything quite cliquey and bloody hard work to be honest!

That's pretty much it Faultymain. I haven't been rude about anyone, but reading this thread is really putting me off. It seems to be being used to vent frustrations - about people who are not on the thread and nothing to do with those who are.

I would love to get involved, but am terrified of the other mums (it is mainly mums at our school, rathers than a mixture of dads, gps, nannies etc). They are all friends and everyone knows everyone. They spend time together at weekends and I'm a bit of a loser compared to them. 6 years in and I still shake on the school run

I used to. Then my work increased and I got a dog so I really am more busy, plus I can’t go to meetings as DH isn’t home until 9pm usually and by 9:30 pm I’ve lost the will to live. I think I’ve just become very lazy and procrastinate a lot. I literally can’t do anything other than mumsnet and I used to do loads of stuff

I already help run fundraising for my daughter's dance school and another PTA would be too much. In fact, now I work full time and am studying as well I could do with someone else taking over. Trouble is, no-one wants to do it.

I've not read the full thread, but in answer to your initial op, I work full time but I do volunteer, however I hate it as the chair & others on the committee are so cliquey, that I feel very uncomfortable. They are also complete martyr types & very judgey, so I totally understand why other parents don't want to be involved.

My DH keeps telling me to stop being involved however I know how desperate the school are for the funds, so I just jeep 'thinking about the DCs' & carry on with it.

People don't have to say why they don t volunteer-there are 101 excellent reasons why they can't. But there is absolutely no need to be so mean about the people who do.

pta only meet in the evening. I am a single parent with no child care so can not go to the meetings.

I can not help with stuff when the kids are there as they have additional needs and I am busy supervising them so they do not wreck the work that other parents have done.

Sorry, haven't rtft (first time ever!) but here is my answer, as I feel you genuinely want to know:

• I work full time and am a single parent. This means I can't get to meetings which are always held during the day when I'm working - to be fair I wouldn't usually be able to go in the evening either, as I have children at home then.

• As you say, if I am going to the event anyway I could volunteer to do something at it, but our lot aren't as well organised as you and don't have things like online sign-up. I have done exactly this once or twice though when possible.

• I do find that the culture of the school - not just the PTA type things but the whole school - is very vague and fluffy about all practical communication. I get quite stressed and embarrassed about seemingly everyone else knowing what is going on by telepathy and me wandering about trying to find things. I actually LOATHE this about my children's school. there are a lot of SAHPs and the whole culture expects people to stand about chatting, finding things out by osmosis and I am constantly being wrong footed by this. I know if I signed up for something it would run late and I would lurk for ages at the time of "my" slot, then feel like a dick and wander off after ages, then they would decide at 3 that it was time for my 2pm slot and I wouldn't be there and they'd all tut. This is the sort of thing they do. They also publish names of people that you have no idea who they are - "just speak to Kate Jones" - no email address, no phone number, no mention of what class her kids are in. So you look a dick if you start asking who she is, because everyone else obviously knows.

• I wish things like this didn't rely so heavily on meetings and informal face to face conversation. It is impossible for me ever to take part and yet I am perfectly easy to talk to by phone, email, fb, skype, facetime, or anything else the modern world has to offer.

• I actually did recently help out at a school concert because some of the kids wanted to do a song that needed an accompaniment. it was easy to organise because one of the kids lives in my house and is very closely related to me :) I would have done it for any of the other kids too if there were any way to communicate that to the school

I have volunteered numerous times but most PTA type things are run by the clique mafia. People have been rude, ungrateful and controlling. My enlightenment was a meeting where the chair announced "I am in charge so I decide what will happen" ...this is a) not how it works b) was to buy things staff didn't want .

Because I work in a demanding job, because I'm a single parent and my mum, my only back up childcare recently passed away. I'm knocking my pan in both at home and at work in spite of having fibromyalgia which leaves me permanently in pain and knackered. So frankly the PTA can fuck off

Clique mafia...spot on. Every school has one. But I have always tried to do my bit, and still do. The longer in the tooth I am, I find the braver I’ve become

Because the school has caused my child to be ostracised.

All of these are true. I’ll add that my kids do their hobbies 5 nights a week and quite a few weekends, and I volunteer at each of those. I have volunteered for a few school trips which I enjoyed, and have staffed a few stalls at school fairs.

Mainly though, I’m quite introverted, and have to spend most of the day talking and organising as part of my job. I genuinely can’t face going out and doing it all over again - there is a cliquiness amongst those who do it all the time and know each other well, and I find it hard to engage in a way I’m comfortable with. I can see where you’re coming from though. I’m happy to contribute in my own way - our school has an Amazon wish list for example, and I’ll happily buy 12 glue sticks or 48 pencils every now and again.

One thing you could do perhaps, is to make it very outcome focused. So instead of saying, ‘come along and help out...’ you could say, ‘The school wants to raise x amount for AstroTurf/sports equipment/ musical instruments / new books for the library, etc.’ Having something to aim for rather than a generic ‘raise money’ might encourage more people. You could then also say, ‘If you are unable to take part, why not donate via the school office/gofundme page (link on the Facebook page) or similar?

Work means I'm often away from home for most of the week with little notice.
Dp does occasionally but we've got younger kids who aren't at school yet that he has to look after and the weekend is the only time we really have get do things as a family or a couple so it'll a bit of a pain to volunteer then, though we do on the odd occasion.

Our headteacher goes round the classes asking pupils which stalls they want to help with and then personally writes a note to each respective parent saying that's what their child wants to do and mostly no parent then tells the Head they won't do it! If I put up a list, the parents would just ignore it.....

I feel compelled to offer a kind of outsider point of view. It seems that many people here view all those PTA organized activities as a given. Maybe because you grew up with them.
Of course schools need donations. All what’s neeed for that is to publicize the bank account really. When our PTA finally asked the parents to donate online they received a few thousand pounds in the next few days.
What does all this have to do with those forgive me but a bit inane cake sales? Don’t our kids already eat enough sweets? How much money can you possibly raise from this? No thanks I am not going to man a stall selling unhealthy food or cheap plasticky trinkets nobody needs to kids to earn a 100 pounds, when I make around this sum working in my actual job (much more really if you include time spent organizing and baking those cakes). Same with raffles, fetes etc.-I just don’t understand the draw, those events seem to have come from the 50’s. And it’s always just the mothers organizing them - men apparently don’t want to spend their precious time on those.
Yes it would be great to have social events for parents. Just organize such events unrelated to any donations and don’t force them to buy some trinkets, watch a movie or bake cookies.