To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

I did volunteer when we moved and my kids were new to the primary school. I got stuck on toilet duty for three consecutive year group discos while the clique that was PTS all helped together out in the actual disco. Four hours of monitoring behaviour in the loos finished me off. I was sad about it as I wanted to get to know people and would have continued to help out if there had been a bit of job rotation on the evening!

I occasionally volunteered when the oldest was at primary. I hated every moment of it and it was tough to find the time because I work. The other mums were mostly the alpha mums and village worthies. I was the only single mum / potential husband stealer / fallen woman in the village so we struggled to find common ground. I would gladly have given £50 a term not to do it.
The money spent was wasted on things that were of little benefit - scooter pods (for parking your scooter) & decorative wall hangings for the main hall - to make it look pretty because wooden walls and wall bars are just so dull.
We used to get letters saying if no one volunteered there would be no summer fete, Christmas fair etc. - quite honestly the cancellation of everything wouldn't have bothered me one bit.

I no longer volunteer for DD's PTA because the current committee are cliquey, very rude about other parents, have slagged quite a few of us off at the school gates and couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery, everything is last minute and then having blanked me all year suddenly I'm their bestest friend ever (because I arrange similar scale and larger events for charities I volunteer for and have done for years so can usually magic up gazebos, fair games or whatever they forgot this time)

I do volunteer for my school's PTA events and DS' PTA because they use lovely words like please and thank you and rarely need last minute favours, they also make an effort to smile and acknowledge me should they bump into me in town/round school.

I work full time. Meetings are always before I get home from work. Weekends are busy with other hobbies. Evenings are short after kids are in bed and spent catching up on home stuff. There’s nothing spare to give.

Because mine was the child with sn who hit and bit the other children so I didn't think I would fit in.

Sometimes I do volunteer, sometimes I don't. It depends what else is going on. I am involved in four different organisations which rely on volunteer support, in addition to a demanding job and frequent weekends away to spend time with my elderly and recently widowed father.

No-one in my family (including the children) enjoys noisy, busy events so we tend to avoid those these days. We've had our fill of fetes and fairs. But we do help with what we can.

We also do indeed donate ££ per month to the PTA, who are sensible enough to make it very easy for us to do so.

I believe PTA mum's become WI members...

What a sneery comment .

Personally I love volunteering, I enjoy it, I do lots of it (yes, PTAs and WI) and I have made many friends through volunteering. I've never found any PTA to be 'cliquey' - and I have moved around a lot and always joined four different PTAs as it is a great way to meet new people.

One thing I've noticed on Mumsnet (over 18 years that I've been here ) are the endless threads about people not being able to make friends, maybe joining a PTA - or other volunteering role - might actually help to make friends?

And a plea to those who can't or don't want to join the PTA, as others have said, please don't criticise the events if you are not prepared to help run them.

I really like the idea of an hour of your time, or an hour of your wage, per term.

A lot of posters on this thread have said they would gladly hand over a tenner rather than man a stall.

I do get really cross with parents who do t help 'when they can' (which differs from person to person). I think it's deeply selfish to leave the work to somebody else, when your child is also benefitting.

It's got to the stage in our school where the PTA are now literally funding the pens on the table, so I think everyone should do their bit, and stop trotting out shit like 'they're cliquey' or 'I can't possibly because I work' to justify it.

A few posters have said stuff like 'They didn't thank me.' Who's 'they'? Other parent volunteers?
Or 'They said half an hour, and I ended up helping longer' well, yes, the more people who help the less each helper needs to do. And vice versa.

Because I work full time plus I don’t really like the events they organise and my DC never want to go. I help at the summer parade as the kids like that one but all the others seem to just be opportunities to force feed the children sweets and crap food.

I work full time in a demanding job where I occasionally need to work after hours. My dh is self employed so frequently works weekends. I. Have. No. Free. Time.

Even for stuff like ‘bake a cake’. When? I can’t even stay awake to watch a film after the kids have gone to bed.

Plus the pta mums a clique and hold meetings at 9am so working mums can’t go.

It’s because People are twats.

I work full time, but still find the time to volunteer each week for guides, church and a club.

I work full time is a shit excuse.

People don’t want to volunteer and would father spend their free time doing what suits them, so they use “I work full time, and I’ve got kids” as the reason.

It’s always irritating when another parent says shit like this to me, when we ask them to help out for 1hr on a Saturday so their kids can go to an activity. I always want to say” SO DO I, AND IM GOING TO BE THERE ALL FUCKING DAY”

I work part time and run my own business part time.
I'm also a single mother so not only would I be giving up time with my own children (that's already very limited) but I'd also need to find childcare for the meetings/events.

I do usually spend a small fortune at PTA events when I'm there with my children though, so I support the school as much as I can in other ways.

It’s because People are twats.

I like that one.

I do think most people do their bit, but it isn't necessarily for the PTA. My primary aged dds do lots of outside of school activities, who always require volunteers. Lots of parents choose one to focus on, and learn to say no to the other multiple requests.
There are definitely some parents who simply take, take, take from everywhere, and never give back, but I think these are the minority; most give something back, somewhere.

I think it's also a bit rude to disparage people who turn up at these events. If 200 people came- and spent £10-20 each of their own money, and spent their time attending, that is a contribution. I didn't want to go to the fete myself, but I always went, took my kids, spent money, and also helped out for an hour or two or clearing up.

If you start to disparate people's contribution, even if it is 'just' showing up and spending money, even fewer will volunteer. Plus if they don't come and spend money, all the volunteers work is for nothing.

Everyone's situation is different, why can't some people seem to understand this?

I work full time in a very demanding job. I do have time to volunteer, and I actually spend quite a lot of time doing just that, though as a school governor and not on the PTA. However, I recognise that others have different circumstances and will therefore make different choices. Some people have longer commutes, work more hours or just have different things to juggle at home. Some may feel that they have given lots in the past and have done their time volunteering. Others may feel that their time is better used elsewhere. Different people have different energy levels, commitments and motivations, and they have different views about what's important.

If you want to volunteer for the PTA yourself, then do it, but expect a bloody medal for it and don't judge the rest of the world if they choose not to join you. Their choices are every bit as valid as yours.

Because I have a job.

With regard to childcare at say summer fayre, you do what all the other parents volunteers are doing, letting their dc just run around. I remember manning a stall when my dds were 3& 5, and another parent saying 'but I can't help, who would look after my (one 7 year old child) ds?'

• Normally I work full time
• Currently on mat leave so caring for a baby as well
• DH works shifts including some evenings and Saturdays
• I do other volunteering
• I actually want some time to myself

Very well put Brokenbiscuit.

All the people who've posted on this thread, have possibly spent up to an hour or so reading and replying. That's an hour of admin help right there.

Much more fun to post on AIBU than to help the PTA, arethere!

All our PTA meetings take place during work hours. I've offered many times to do jobs that can be done evenings but they don't take advantage. They feel cliquey Tbh, but mainly I can't get involved cos all the action happens when I'm at work

Lol, that's true @ScipioAfricanus