Not to want to live past my 80s

[Echobelly]

My granddad has been lucky to have relatively good health, but since turning 90 things are so hard for him, again even with relatively good health for his age. He can't commit 100% to a lot of things as some days he's just not up to anything, it's hard for him to enjoy holidays like he used to as he can hardly walk anywhere. I feel really sad to see him living like this - I wouldn't want to. And I know I'm not going to be one of those 90+ years old doing yoga or whatever, as I have a joint problem so my mobility's probably going to be shot relatively early. I think I 'd rather go by my mid-80s thanks.

As much as we love him our dad he is a worry and getting harder to deal with.
I doubt my children will do for me that we do for him as they will have to work till they drop themselves.

Mouse _ exactly but it’s always life over death and it needs a re think.
Won’t happen though.

I live in Guernsey and as a previous poster as said, it’s a hot topic here at the moment as our Government will shortly be debating the issue and it could become a reality here. There will be lots of laws governing it and I believe it will be for local, terminally ill people and not people who come to Guernsey simply to die, as you can do in Switzerland. If you’re not a resident it won’t be an option for you.

I have no idea what way the vote will go. I don’t think it’s fair to say that 90% of the polls are in favour because we don’t have polls. You can gauge reactions from social media and these have been very mixed. It will be interesting to see what the outcome is. Personally I’m in favour and if it does become an option, I will make sure people are aware of my views so that if I ever get to the point where I have no quality of life and am just waiting for the end to happen, then I want the right to choose when that happens.

I disagree. My grandmother is 92, in good health and very happy with life. If she hadn't lived this long she'd never have got to meet my DD who brings her a lot of joy.

Putting an age limit on it is ridiculous anyway, you can get a life limiting illness in your 40s and have worse quality of life than some elderly people.

The ones against a clinic on Guernsney - do they say why?

@The80sweregreat yes the ones against are all religious.

I’ve alreadt had enough in my early 40s!

Yes as crayoladreamz says, mostly due to religion. Some don’t explain themselves, just keep saying it’s their own view and they’re sticking to it without giving reasons. It gets very frustrating that these people want to oppose their choices on the rest of us rather then giving everyone a choice.

Religion has a lot to answer for! My dad the same though.

It would have to be policed though to be fair. Which costs money. I bet that’s why governments are against as well.

@VQ1970

Re: Assisted Dying in Guernsey.... A poll conducted on this Facebook page

www.facebook.com/assisteddyingguernsey/

received 1348 votes and showed the 87% of people were in favour of assisted dying and 71% strongly agreed with the idea.

A poll conducted on the Island FM Facebook page

www.facebook.com/islandfm/

received 1700 votes and showed that 92% of people were in favour of assisted dying.

Finally, a poll on the popular Facebook Group 'Guernsey People Have Your Say'

www.facebook.com/groups/372844639584626/

received 643 votes and also showed that 92% of people were in favour of assisted dying. I attach screenshots. So yes, polls have been conducted and yes the public is firmly in favour.

See - it’s a vote winner. But when it’s debated ( as I’m 2015) it’s a no! Maybe many politicians ha e shared in card homes especially dementia ones ..

Care homes not card

All things being equal I don't think I want to get to a stage where my body and mind has deteriorated to the point where I am wholly reliant on someone else. Whether that be at 40 or 94; I think it's about independence and presence of mind.

I don't want to live beyond my 80's. I might feel Different when I get there. But I doubt it.

If I get to the stage of dribbling at either end I would like the chance to tootle along to my local branch of Dignitas and ask for the big red pill or big needle or whatever. I wouldn't want my DDs to see me like that. Also I'd like my DD's to get their inheritance before retirement age so they can retire early.

My Mums 86 and housebound and on the waiting list for a hip replacement but has had to have CV investigations first. Its been an absolute nightmare with around 20 hospital appointments so far. I'm not kidding. Basically they are assessing if she is fit enough to undergo the operation.
Obviously her mobility is terrible but she refuses to have a wheelchair. I went to meet her the other day and one minute she was stood up the next minute she was on the ground. I had to get a workman to help lift her up.Its a nightmare because when I go out I worry all the time whats happening at home.

@crayoladreamz Sorry, I misunderstood what you meant by polls for some strange reason! I haven’t seen the Island FM discussion or the assisted dying page but I will have a look at those. Having said that, out of a population of circa 65,000 I’m not sure we can say the majority are in favour going by those low numbers.

Are you local? I’m assuming you will have seen who I meant when I mentioned someone who just keeps saying they don’t agree without giving any reasons. I hope it’s not you, they are very frustrating!

There have been some very valid points made as to why it should happen. What really drove it home for me was there was a case recently in the local paper where a man was fined and banned from keeping any pets for life because he didn’t get his cat euthanised when the cat had a tumour and was likely to be in mild to moderate pain. We’d euthanise a pet in mild to moderate pain but won’t euthanise a human who could be in extreme pain. That is wrong.

Have my Dignitas fund already started. Shame the UK is so backwards when it comes to end of life care. I would much rather stay with my family and pass away in my bedroom. As it is I will have to pick an arbitrary date while I am probably still reasonably healthy to travel and spend thousands of pounds just to die with dignity.

I wish we could have a referendum to get the law changed here, seems insane we don't.

I've developed a real fear of ageing. Having watched one parent die agonisingly of cancer, and both PIL die hideously it is pretty clear what may lie ahead. Whatever happened to dying in your sleep? I do not want to be put in a home, I don't want to be dependent, and if i get dementia, I am off Beachy Head. It's awful how many of us dread getting older. It is casting a shadow for me already, which is ridiculous really.

It’s nice to read a thread with like minded people. We need a discussion about this and laws to be changed but it’s rarely mentioned at election time.

My mum died of cancer in a painful way when she was only 40. My MIL died in a care home, a very protracted and demeaning death. My dad died in front of me from a massive heart attack when he was 62. My dad’s death was a shock to those who were around him but that is how I want to go. Clean and simple. Preferably asleep in bed but if not, just a sudden end. We should be able to flick a switch ourselves. What is the point of living a long time if the quality of your life is awful. Not everybody elderly is going to be infirm but a large number are. Dementia is the scariest thing.

My DH and I are in our 50s. We have started living well by losing weight and getting fit. But as we have no dependants we have started treating ourselves. We are mortgage free, and I am normally a cautious person, but we have just booked lots of holidays and have just ordered a sports car. What is the point of not spending our money, you don’t know what the future holds. All we have is now. My dad died before he had a chance to enjoy his retirement, so all the money he amassed over a long career he never got the benefit of. That is not going to happen to me. I am going to do as much as I can while I can.

My Grandad lived till he was 103 and was smart as a button till 101. He read the papers, watched the cricket and chatted to his pal. The last two years were a bit sad but all in all he had a good innings. If you are reasonably healthy life can be rewarding even for the very old.

Cherry - same here. I am dreading getting old and not having any say in living the life I want ( and being able to die if I want to)
Agree that we treat animals better at end of life usually.

My Grandad lived till he was 103 and was smart as a button till 101. He read the papers, watched the cricket and chatted to his pal.

But could he deal with his own personal hygiene and go and get his own paper?

Like most, being immobile and sitting in my own bodily functions isn't an appealing prospect.

I go onto locked wards and its bloody horrible, unkempt old ladies crying and begging to get out. Why are they unkempt? You try brushing their hair, they slap you!

Its not an end of life anyone would want.

Anyone see the lovely old lady in the paper the other day? 104, passed away, had no children, all her family was dead, she outlived all her friends and had no one to go to her funeral. How sad is that, how lonely she must have been.

Aging is awful.