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Original poster

To not get on the plane ?

148 replies

BrightonCalling · 13/05/2018 06:05

I have an awful hangover and also had a massive argument with dp last night. Feel like shit physically and mentally. Supposed to be going to see my parents for a week and getting flight this afternoon but have to get a tram, bus then train to the airport first.

Have seen i can get another flight tomorrow for 20 quid...

Should i go today or tomorrow? I feel guilty if i postpone but im not sure i can even walk straight

OP posts:
ferrier · 13/05/2018 09:46

Make sure you don't lose the return flight and don't go today. Nobody, not even your parents, will want you to travel today if you're likely to throw up. Far better to go tomorrow after you've recovered and also had a chance to talk things over with dp.

When you talk things over with dp just say you won't be coming to any more of his family things because you don't enjoy them. Admit that it's partly you, you're just not able to work a room like some people can, tell him how stressed the situation makes you (if he can't see that anyway) and just make the decision not to go again.

diddl · 13/05/2018 09:46

"Obviously he didnt force me but im expected to"

Not really getting the difference tbh.

He knew you were supposed to be flying today-so why would you not going have been a big deal?

Well, why would it anyway?

Candyflip · 13/05/2018 09:48

So? If you don’t want to go, why did you go? It does not sound like a healthy relationship. Go home today OP, it’s just a hangover, and take stock of what you want in life. That sounds really shit.

higgyyellow · 13/05/2018 09:49

He sounds like an absolute dick who has a massive hold over you.

I mean seriously, as an adult, you should have just said no thanks, you go, I'm flying tomorrow and still have things to organise.

The fact that he made you go is your biggest problem.

As for today, check your return leg is safe and book yourself that flight tomorrow. Take some rehydration powder of you have any, and some painkillers and go back to bed. I have had many a hangover and I totally sympathise.

applesandpears56 · 13/05/2018 09:50

Get him to drive you!

applesandpears56 · 13/05/2018 09:51

To airport that is

Sara107 · 13/05/2018 09:51

Sometimes when you've been sick you start to feel a bit better after? In which case shower, painkillers etc and go. If you think you may be sick on the bus though I would leave it and go tomorrow, no point in making yourself and other passengers miserable. If it's a low cost Ryanair thing the flights are booked as two separate flights so the return isn't impacted. If you're worried about your parents reaction, tell them it's a tummy bug - sort of true. And if your main issue is leaving the row with dp unresolved, definitely wait till tomorrow and have a chat with him later when you feel more robust.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 13/05/2018 09:55

Ok Op once you have returned from staying with your parents, you need to prioritise learning to drive and becoming independent from your partner (doesn't sound very dear). Next time he wants to go to a family gathering, unless you know you are able to leave under your own steam, then refuse to go.

cordelia16 · 13/05/2018 10:00

tbh I think whether you fly today or tomorrow is the least of your problems.

your DP sounds massively disrespectful (lying about the nature of the function, abandoning you, then bringing you back home so late before you fly), but you are an adult and should make your own choices (going to the "party", deciding how much to drink, etc). I'd use the week away to take stock of your relationship and self-esteem whilst in it.

hope you feel better Flowers and have a nice time with your parents.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 13/05/2018 10:09

Fried egg sandwich, lashings of brown sauce and a cuppa. Then go.

If it was your DP unable to go the responses would be nowhere near as kind, and if your parents were postponing for the same reason some posters would be advising you to go NC.

category12 · 13/05/2018 10:10

Go. It'll be better than staying home feeling sorry for yourself.

Have a fry-up and power through.

GoldenMcOldie · 13/05/2018 10:13

Suck it up and go.

Changing plans will be more trouble than it is worth.

Paracetamol + water + coffee + egg buttie. Good to go.

MissDuke · 13/05/2018 10:19

OP it depends really on how disappointed your parents will be. Who had the idea of meeting at the airport? Would they secretly prefer a night at home to get sorted and rested after their own travelling?

Otherwise, you definitely have bigger problems here. Your partner sounds extremely selfish. If you cannot stand up to him and say 'no' now and again then he is not the man for you.

chocatoo · 13/05/2018 10:23

Little sympathy here I’m afraid. Of course you should go. Power through. A hangover is not an excuse to let parents down. And learn to drive so you are not relying on public transport and your boyfriend for lifts. Ditch boyfriend and find someone who won’t leave you on your own all night.

Ginger1982 · 13/05/2018 10:31

I can sympathise about being abandoned at a family do but to get so drunk you cry in front of his family is a bit pathetic. You need to have a serious word with yourself and decide if you want to be in this relationship if this sort of thing keeps happening. I would have had a few drinks, worked the room a bit, silently seethed then had an argument with DP before rising fresh and going to see my folks. Or, not had a few drinks and driven myself home (learn to drive, it's a very useful life skill!)

What are you going to tell your folks, you're too hungover to go and see them? How old are you?

Queenie8 · 13/05/2018 10:34

Best hangover cure I've found is a banana, ribena, ibuprofen and vitamin c (like berrocca), shower and you should feel slightly better within an hour.

Personally I'd still go today, I'd want to see my parents after a crappy night, and your folks will be looking forward to seeing you.

I was in an awful relationship and a friend of mine dropped into conversation "you don't have to stay, you don't have to be unhappy, the only things in life that you have to do are pay your taxes and bills". That sentence was an epiphany for me.

I hope you feel better quickly.

BlueJava · 13/05/2018 10:36

Personally I'd go but take a bag to puke in. Tell the parents you slept badly. Good luck.

Original poster
BrightonCalling · 13/05/2018 10:37

Update im on the tram. Felt much better after being sick.

However I do feel awful about last night. I feel like I ruined his night and embarrassed myself. Im worried that he said it happens every time past 2 or 3 drinks, he said it was like suddenly i start blowing my emotions out of proportion and he actually feels apprehensive because he knows ots coming. Thats not good os it? I feel shit about myself and like im a horrible person for doing that.
I could have said i didnt want to go yesterday but the family and possibly him would have felt disappointed. Theyre a really close knit extended family. I can work the room fine, just not for 8 hours.
Ive decided i definitely want to learn to drive.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrightonCalling · 13/05/2018 10:39

Its not an awful relationship, hes a nice guy, its just that i moved to his town to be with him and its a really small local place with extended family etc and sometimes i feel frustrated like ive had to lose my identity

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 13/05/2018 10:39

No one forced you to drink at the village hall. Was your DP sober if he was driving? You could have had soft drinks and been sober together.

If you were the last ones to leave, you could also have asked someone else for a lift. You had other options.

STOPSHOUTINGPLS · 13/05/2018 10:40

get some diarolyte rehydration salts and go today.

Having read the backstory you 100% need to go today. you can'tlet your partner disrespect your wishes like that and you will totally feel shitty about about yourself if you don't go today which wont clear up in a day.

ChasedByBees · 13/05/2018 10:41

Cross post. Glad you’re going. If your DP is apprehensive about the way you behave after alcohol, it might be time to take a break from it for a while.

diddl · 13/05/2018 10:44

"its a really small local place with extended family "

So really no big deal if you miss the odd occasion!

" he actually feels apprehensive because he knows ots coming. "

So-perhaps he needs to stop expecting you to go to these things/not abandon you for so long at them!

You certainly need to be able to leave & get home when you want.

MrsHathaway · 13/05/2018 10:46

I sympathise: I once took a coach cross-country probably still drunk with an unprecedented hangover on a warm, sunny day, and it was purgatory. If I could sensibly have delayed I would have, though in the end I was glad to have made the effort. A tactical chunder might have helped, come to think of it.

I agree with pps that your relationship sounds unhealthy. You should have been able to go home early "because I have a long journey tomorrow" and everyone waving you off with a smile. Your partner should have respected your feelings and plans and worked out a suitable timetable even if that involved your having separate plans last night. Does he often sabotage your plans, or put you last?

Safe journey whenever you go!

higgyyellow · 13/05/2018 10:47

I'm sorry OP but he is kicking you while you are down isn't he? A decent bloke wouldn't have put you in that position in the first place and certainly wouldn't have a go next morning Sad