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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get on the plane ?

148 replies

BrightonCalling · 13/05/2018 06:05

I have an awful hangover and also had a massive argument with dp last night. Feel like shit physically and mentally. Supposed to be going to see my parents for a week and getting flight this afternoon but have to get a tram, bus then train to the airport first.

Have seen i can get another flight tomorrow for 20 quid...

Should i go today or tomorrow? I feel guilty if i postpone but im not sure i can even walk straight

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 13/05/2018 07:43

Just wanted to confirm that they will cancel your return leg if you don’t catch the original outbound

Aridane · 13/05/2018 07:44

You won’t lose the return flight, that’s nonsense. You just need to confirm it if it’s a traditional airline or nothing if it’s low cost airline.

I have lost the return flight this way.

MrsLaurac · 13/05/2018 07:44

Im in the other camp if it wouldn't be massively inconvenient to anybody picking up from airport and you won't loose return flight you will have so much of a better trip going tomorrow. If it was my mum and dad there wouldn't be a problem.

ChasedByBees · 13/05/2018 07:44

It’s not about kicking someone when they’re down. Tough love sometimes helps. If the OP is drinking so they can’t function the next day when they have important stuff to do, that’s not good.

If an OP had written that their DP was missing a flight because he was too hungover to move the thread would be very harsh to the DP.

2andcountingtodate · 13/05/2018 07:44

I'd want to sort things with dp before going so I'd definitely postpone. My parents wouldn't thank me either if i turned an ill miserable mess. I say postpone OP.

Aridane · 13/05/2018 07:44

I think of,you,tell,them before you leave,they may be able to salvage the return leg before you,get purged from the system as a no,show

ferntwist · 13/05/2018 07:45

Tea, toast, pint of water & two paracetamol and codeine. Nice snacks to take with you. You’ll feel better when you see your mum and Dad. Good luck

Aridane · 13/05/2018 07:45

I thought this was going to be about the Friends episode and whether Rachel was going to get on the plane

youarenotkiddingme · 13/05/2018 07:46

Are you likely to manage to resolve things satisfactorily with DP if you stay for the day?
If not then tomorrow won't be a better time to travel. It'll possibly be harder to go away.

A cool shower and cup of coffee with painkillers should resolve the hangover but you're likely not to feel better unless the argument can be moved on from.

MsGameandWatching · 13/05/2018 07:50

I'd go tomorrow. Your only mistake was posting here. No one needs a big dose of sanctimony when they've got a raging hangover.

Bridesmaidinchief · 13/05/2018 07:50

It’s not about kicking someone when they’re down. Tough love sometimes helps.

But you are kicking someone when they're down, regardless of your intentions. And who are you to give tough love anyway? You aren't close to the OP. You don't know her circumstances. You don't know how she came to be drunk. You don't know if this is a regular occurence or a one off because she was upset and had a stronger drink than normal! You're just assuming this is evidence of a wider problem and proceeding on that basis.

OP's talking about losing £20 and postponing a visit by one day. She's hardly in life-ruining territory here. And even sensible, decent people sometimes just make mistakes. That doesn't mean they need patronising 'tough love' from a stranger.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 13/05/2018 07:51

I do agree that the responses would be a LOT less sympathetic if the OP had said that her DP was so hungover that he was unable to catch a flight to see his parents.

You just need to get on with the day: you’re not going to feel better moping around the house feeling sorry for yourself, whereas if you get yourself together and get on the plane, you’re likely to feel better that at least you didn’t let your parents down.

ferntwist · 13/05/2018 07:51

Surely it will cost more than £20 with taxes, the day before?

RubberJohnny · 13/05/2018 07:53

If a new flight tomorrow is only £20, I would bet it's with a budget airline and therefore each flight stands seperately so she is in no danger of losing the return flight.

Op, I get the occasional killer hangover like you have today, (once every couple of years occasionally before the alcohol habit police jump on that) I could not travel. It wouldn't be fair to other passengers and you really need to be rehydrating and resting so your body can recover. Flying when dehydrated isn't great for you and will just prolong your crappy feelings!
I'd defo stay home today, book new flight, let parents know, recover till mid afternoon then sort stuff with dp. Leave tomorrow feeling much better if a bit embarrassed and easy for a lecture from your parents.

It's crap, hope it passes soon.

ObiJuanKenobi · 13/05/2018 07:54

@Bridesmaidinchief oh please OP posted in AIBU, some think she is, others don't. So that's sort of the point of asking strangers on the internet their opinion - to get it!

Socrates73 · 13/05/2018 07:56

Hmm.... up to you about the flight, if you can afford the £20 then it's not a big deal but, if drinking and being hungover is causing disruption to your daily life then is it worth reflecting on whether you need to gain control of your drinking? Sorry I know it's not what you asked but being so hung over you're cancelling important plans is quite a big deal.

Incarnationsofunderstanding · 13/05/2018 07:56

There is no way I could do an hour and a bit on a bus without being sick if I were hungover so I feel your pain.

If you can make up with DP, not upset your parents too much and keep your return flight then I'd go tomorrow.

I know people are going at you for being pathetic/being a drinker but actually it tends to be us non drinkers that really get hit with the hangover hammer as we just aren't used to it!

Bridesmaidinchief · 13/05/2018 07:58

@ObiJuanKenobi she asked for their opinion on whether she should postpone the flight, not a load of unsolicited insinuations that she's a train wreck with a drinking problem. It's the people assuming from this one incident that there must be a deep and terrible problem who I have no time for. It's smug, unhelpful, and hypocritical. Everyone makes the occasional mistake and a decent person would advise on that one mistake without heaping in a load of sanctimonious judgment on the OP's lifestyle generally.

Sproutpie · 13/05/2018 08:01

Take some paracetamol. Eat a Maccies on the journey and get on with your day as planned. It’s what women grown ups do.

Sharonthetotallyinsane · 13/05/2018 08:05

Go tomorrow

Gwenhwyfar · 13/05/2018 08:13

Where can you get a 20 pound flight to? Do you have a flight you can exchange and is 20 the only extra cost? If it is I'll go the next day. I wouldn't want hours in a coach when feeling sick.

Socrates73 · 13/05/2018 08:26

Maybe the people commenting about drinking aren't smug or judgemental, maybe they are speaking from bitter experience and trying to help? Food for thought?

STOPSHOUTINGPLS · 13/05/2018 08:29

I'd just push through it to be honest.The afternoon is a few hours away.

Once you've downed some full fat coke and had something to eat/ rehydrated - you'll feel better - if not 100% obviously a little less like death. Strongly recommend Dioralyte hydration salts as a hangover cure They are to rehydrate children and adults after diarrhoea and is a marvel. They sell it in any chemists.

www.dioralyte.co.uk/

It won't be fun but you'll be there and tomorrow you'll wake up on holiday.

FWIW I think you will feel shitty about yourself afterwards if you cancel the flight because you are hungover - not to mention red tape of re-sorting the return leg.

Often return flights to UK can be v. fully booked so you may have availability issues as once your return flight is released, some one else may nab it.

If you do decide to cancel it the outgoing flight and rebook - I would call the airline or travel agency or however you booked it and get them to re-book the whole thing. DO NOT just not turn up because airlines keep records of no shows and you may find you get bumped in future because of it.

VerbenaBorensis · 13/05/2018 08:31

Hmm...

Depends on how yr parents are going to be/if they have made plans that would be affected by this (and if those plans u wouldn't be able to face if its on the eve u arrive) If they are going to be off with u then I"d prob go. Mine would be ok with delaying but everyones different and depends on plans etc I spose already said I know. You may recover by the time u get there but only u know how bad u feel and if a quick recovery possible. You csn always send emails/texts/phone calls to DP to make up?

Bridesmaidinchief · 13/05/2018 08:34

Maybe the people commenting about drinking aren't smug or judgemental, maybe they are speaking from bitter experience and trying to help? Food for thought?

If so they should stop projecting their own bad experience into a situation they don't understand well enough to offer assistance on.

Seriously - all we have is the one incident OP described in her post. And from that some people really think they have enough information to start make comments and insinuations about OP's drinking generally? Does nobody care about actually knowing what's going on before blasting in to ensure their opinion is known?