To ask WWYD as I am so stuck with this

[ificouldwritealettertome]

I'll try to be concise but don't want to drip feed. Me and DH have one DC, would love another sooner rather than later. Currently renting, but would like to buy before TTC so we are set up and financially sorted.

Money is tight- DH covers the rent and bills with very little left over and I cover the food shop, baby milk/clothes whatever we need. I'm a waitress on NMW and just about have enough money for these.

We have just under a 5% deposit for a 2 bed house in the area we live in. Our budget would not allow for a 3 bed, but of course we will need a 3 bed for our 2nd DC. So We would have to build an extension on the 2 bed (financially doable as we have friends/family in the building and carpentry trade and would have help).

Starting now, to secure a mortgage, we would have to reduce our monthly spending (even smaller food shops, etc) for at least 3 months and I would have to up my hours at work so that our pay slips look better and we save up the rest of our deposit. I am currently doing 30 hours and DD is only just 8 months so that will be hard.

We would see very little of each other as a family and money would be extremely tight, we have already cancelled things like Sky and have changed energy providers to the cheapest tariff, etc so our bills are as low as physically possible.

If we get denied a mortgage, we will be applying for social housing as we can not afford to rent a 3 bed and our current place is absolutely tiny. My question is, AIBU to think about jusy going for social housing straight away?

We are already struggling financially and I don't know how many more hours at work I can take. I am exhausted. I already miss the baby and am looking forward to a sibling for her but, realistically, if we buy it would be a couple of years to extend by the time we have completed the sale, applied for planning permission and built it.

I feel as though we may go through all the stress of applying for a mortgage and get denied anyway as we do not have much money and will only have a 5% deposit. Should we push for a house that we own, which is something we both really want, or just accept that it is too ambitious for us and apply for affordable housing? WWYD?

Thank you celtic that's good to know about the pay slips! My hours haven't been that consistent yet as I eased myself back into work a couple of days at a time. I took the earliest maternity leave that I could (pregnancy sucked!) So I had to return early.

I really want to add as well that me and my DH are absolutely crying laughing at some of these responses! The BEST so far is the counselling one...

We are in stitches at imagining MuvaWifey77 shouting "Oh bloody hell! She's posted again!" And angrily reading the whole thing then getting annoyed at me for it!

I would recommend waiting a couple of years before trying for baby no 2 as you will be under less pressure then. It's also easier for you financially if you aren't needing full time / pre school child care for them both at the same time.

There's nothing wrong with putting your name on the list for social housing whilst you pursue other options. Some areas of the country are very different to others. Where I live my friend's daughter has just been offered a house and there is only her and her toddler DC. In s few years time she will get the opportunity to buy this property. In the neighbouring authority where I work she would be lucky to get a one bed high rise temporary flat.

Don't stretch yourself so much financially that if you are short of hours one week, or unwell that everything comes falling down around you.

You seem to be getting a bit of a hard time from some people OP and I don’t really get it. You and your partner sound like you are trying really hard to save for a little home of your own for some stability for your family. It’s tough getting on the housing ladder, made even harder I am sure by living in such an expensive area.

You sound like a lovely family both sharing the responsibility for trying to bring enough money in. No one has the right to tell you that you can’t afford another child and should wait. I really hope you figure something out that works for you and doesn’t burden you with a mortgage you will have to work all hours to afford.

Lots of misconceptions about social housing on this thread. In most areas Anybody can apply and qualify for social housing. The problem is most lists are managed on a points basis. The OP would be given points for having an ‘insecure tenancy’ on our allocation policy, but sadly this would be insufficient to receive a housing offer in anywhere other than difficult to let areas. She would likely always be trumped by people who also have points for overcrowding, harassment or, domestic abuse. This doesn’t mean she has no right or isn’t eligible for social housing. If just means she will be unlikely to ever be high enough on the list to be made an offer. There is no harm in applying though. It costs nothing to apply and doesn’t harm your chances of pursuing other options.

There was a thread recently about universal credit and how it was possibly stopping people on it from having another child. There were lots of posters who were up in arms about this - it was immoral, it was classist, how dare potential mums be dictated to about when they can have a baby etc etc. But this hard working couple who have clearly put a lot of thought in have been told repeatedly "you obviously can't afford another yet, you'll just have to wait, tough".
I'm not a supporter of UC in any way but these responses seemed just an unfair and quite callous.
Anyway, as has been said OP - can vary from region as to social housing lists, a work colleague has just moved into theirs and they were only a year on the list. Both work and no traumas in their life needing a move.
There's also joint ownership schemes or deposit paid schemes especially on some of the new estates.
Or as you have said, if you can find somewhere with a suitable plot you would probably be able to extend in the future.
Good luck with the reply from the mortgage advisor!

Lots of misconceptions about social housing on this thread. In most areas Anybody can apply and qualify for social housing I had thought that was the case! I understand a lot more about it now though in terms of wait times and eligibility points etc.

wendy I saw that thread, it was so sad. We really do want another and it's such a shame that so many are in the same position and feeling as though they can't due to financial circumstances.

If you go for social housing you have the right to buy. You dont need to put a deposit on, just live there for five years and what youve paid in rent will be taken as a deposit. Also social housing is cheaper than private so what youd save you could put aside. The signing up process is an absolute ball ache though but worth it. Thats what myself and my partner are doing. Youd have to hunt around for a mortage but its by the far easiest way to buy when your on a strict budget and cant save up as much as youd like

Well said Wendycastle This thread is a good exame of Mumsnet at its most inconsistent.

OP I'd recommend you space your children so that your eldest is in receipt of some free hours of education before you are off maternity leave w no. 2 but good luck whatever you decide.

Read TFT now, don't listen to the haters, you sound lovely and planning is smart. If you buy a 2 bed house could the friends and family that have said they would help build an extension help you do a loft conversion instead, to turn it into a 3 bed?

That bobs a wee bit of a prick .... Hardly a bloody crime wanting a 3rd bedroom and caring that your kids will be happy. We aren't being asked to pay for the bedroom, she just wants some effing advice if you don't like the thread piss off and comment on something else.

Here's another idea to consider, though it may not fit in with how you want to live or the size of mortgage you are able to get:

Would it be feasible to take a lodger? We did that, and it eased our finances hugely. We do live in an area where rents are high.

Our eldest shared a bedroom with us until she was four, meaning we could put a lodger in the second bedroom. If you could get a mortgage on a 3 bedroom house - which I wish we had done - you could start off with your LO in your room and two lodgers. Then when your second child comes along, the children can share and you can still have one lodger. It's a lot of money coming in.

This post has raised an interesting point. I didn't know you could buy your house after 5 yrs. I don't agree with this policy. Selling houses should be left to private companies. That's why social housing is in such short supply and private landlords can charge exorbitant rents and get rich quickly. Bloody stupid government policy. Public housing should be to enable those not earning enough to buy to have a permanent place they can call home. The government builds and gets the rent thereby having more money in the budget. It's a no brainer. Owning your own home isn't the be-all and end-all! And there's nothing wrong with advising someone to wait until they can afford another child. Its common sense.

Just to add a bit to what TheletterZ said about your 'worth'. To you hold any qualifications in hospitality or management? If not, source some, and ask your employer if they would be willing to put you through them. A good employer wants the best staff team they can get, especially if you can then 'take over' some responsibility. No harm in asking!

As for sharing a room- my teen ds' still do at 14 & 18, and they have never found it a problem. In our old home, we actually had three big bedrooms, and they chose to share instead of having their own room. So don't see it as a negative.

Good Luck!!

Just wanted to add that you can't automatically buy social housing in all areas, check it out rather than assume. Friends of mine wanted to buy theirs and found out right to buy had closed in their area in 2013. In some areas they re-open it but that's only if the LA need funds to help with new developments

Get on list for SH anyway see what comes up if you decide to buy just don’t accept any SH offers easy to cancel

I can't really advise on mortgages but just my experience of social housing.

We're also in the Cotswolds and can't afford private rent while I'm a student and DP is the sole earner.

It was very hard to get our tiny 2 bed flat. We have 2 boys, so they will have to share a very small single bedroom, though DS2 is still in ours.

We make it work by making 2 chests of drawers our tv stand in the living room, a mid-sleeper bed for our 4 year old so we can fit more storage underneath, lots of shelving etc. There's very little space but we make it work by having space saving furniture.

Though anyone can apply for social housing, most LA will expect children of different sexes to share rooms until the eldest is 8. If they are the same sex they are expected to share a (single) bedroom until they are 18.

Also, because we weren't a priority (we weren't being made homeless, weren't on benefits, and not overcrowded at our previous home) we weren't likely to get a social housing home for a long time.

After 9 months on the list we got our flat only because it was rejected by 28 families/couples before us!
If you can get a mortgage and can make the extension work, then go for it.

Depends on the Housing Assoc in terms of sharing, ages vary wildly. I can tell you that one large assoc. in the north west states same sex siblings can share until age 21. I assume due to the shortages of 3 and 4 beds.

They can share of course, but one may have killed the other by the time they reach 21, if they are anything like my siblings and I .

In the north west you can bid on most properties that come up in your chosen areas, regardless of your priority - even if its low.

The HA's filter out a quota of properties for other purposes which you may not be eligible for, like supported or sheltered housing.

Properties which are 'available now', for direct application, are not necessarily all hard to lets or problematic areas. Again, there will be a quota of different areas and properties to include.

As you can tell I'm a big fan of social housing and think it works well in terms of allocations, repairs, security etc. The main issue is the lack of properties!

Hello everyone! I know this thread has been dead a while but I've got an update I'd really like to share!

We have seen a mortgage advisor- and got granted a mortgage in principal there and then! Even better than that, we are actually able to borrow more than we thought and are able to look for a 3 bed house as we now have a bugger budget.

I would like to say a massive thank you to all the lovely helpful posts on here, they really helped us to make decisions.

Our mortgage will actually be £250 a month cheaper than our rent as we have a great credit rating and can get a very low interest rate, so I am going to work less hours and use the time to study a degree with the Open University.

Having failed my degree at uni I wanted to try again, but at my own pace so the OU is perfect, I am really excited about applying when the time is right.

We will be able to stay in the area we already live, close to our friends and family and my DH's job. After completing some of his recent training he has already been promoted to line manager and he has been enrolled on several more courses as well so we are really pleased to be staying where we are!

Because our monthly outgoings will be less and our household income will be more, we will be able to extend our family in the near future and I will be able to stay at home with the DC and study for my degree.

Having the GPs close means I will have a few hours a week to focus on my course, and once it's completed in 6 years' time, I will have added value to myself and will be back in the job market worth triple what I am now! As I said in PP, I love being a waitress but some comments on here helped me to see I could be more.

We are really excited about all of these opportunities and I am very grateful for all the advice I had here! Thank you Mumsnet!

*bigger budget... not bugger budget!!!

That's fantastic. Well done and wishing you all the best.

Thank you JoJo!

Great news! 👍

glad its sorted, dont know how long or what you were doing at uni before but the OU sometimes will let you transfer credits from your previous course which would make your potential course shorter....soemtimes else to look into

That's a brilliant outcome! Can you tell us what the interest rate is for 100% mortgage?