To ask WWYD as I am so stuck with this

[ificouldwritealettertome]

I'll try to be concise but don't want to drip feed. Me and DH have one DC, would love another sooner rather than later. Currently renting, but would like to buy before TTC so we are set up and financially sorted.

Money is tight- DH covers the rent and bills with very little left over and I cover the food shop, baby milk/clothes whatever we need. I'm a waitress on NMW and just about have enough money for these.

We have just under a 5% deposit for a 2 bed house in the area we live in. Our budget would not allow for a 3 bed, but of course we will need a 3 bed for our 2nd DC. So We would have to build an extension on the 2 bed (financially doable as we have friends/family in the building and carpentry trade and would have help).

Starting now, to secure a mortgage, we would have to reduce our monthly spending (even smaller food shops, etc) for at least 3 months and I would have to up my hours at work so that our pay slips look better and we save up the rest of our deposit. I am currently doing 30 hours and DD is only just 8 months so that will be hard.

We would see very little of each other as a family and money would be extremely tight, we have already cancelled things like Sky and have changed energy providers to the cheapest tariff, etc so our bills are as low as physically possible.

If we get denied a mortgage, we will be applying for social housing as we can not afford to rent a 3 bed and our current place is absolutely tiny. My question is, AIBU to think about jusy going for social housing straight away?

We are already struggling financially and I don't know how many more hours at work I can take. I am exhausted. I already miss the baby and am looking forward to a sibling for her but, realistically, if we buy it would be a couple of years to extend by the time we have completed the sale, applied for planning permission and built it.

I feel as though we may go through all the stress of applying for a mortgage and get denied anyway as we do not have much money and will only have a 5% deposit. Should we push for a house that we own, which is something we both really want, or just accept that it is too ambitious for us and apply for affordable housing? WWYD?

Op you sound really hard working and like you're making all the right sacrifices. I also want to add that I'm a nurse, with a degree, but I could not waitress. I've always found it a difficult job to do. Don't put yourself down.

I agree with the option of good size second bedroom, regardless whether it's rented or mortgaged. I also agree with taking a few yrs to look at your options and continue to save. You never know what the housing market is going to do.

Keep saving, and don't forget solicitor and search fees, stamp duty, increased council tax and bills etc

Good luck

You won't be allowed to build an extension on a help to buy house.

Could either or both of your families help? It must be lovely for both sets of grandparents to have ye living nearby and they might help just to insure that can continue to happen. I would with my dc.
And l shared with my dsis until we left home and in our 50s now its like we are joined at the hip. It was absolutely not an issue as it was all we knew.
You are maybe underselling yourself career wise as you managed to get to university and pass some exams. You are not as bad as you think. Obviously good at being with people. Try and think radically outside the box around a better paying job. Look at all vacancies in your area and apply for anything you remotely think you could do. You have nothing to lose. You can still hold onto your friends in this job.
Hope all works out.

OP I think you've had a few very harsh responses on here. You are quite within your rights to think and plan for your future and ask for advice on here. AIBU can be a bit of a bitchfest at times!

But as you'll have seen, the majority of people are offering useful advice and guidance.

In terms of a mortgage, are you contracted to do 30 hours a week or are you on a zero hours contract but usually do 30 hours? If it's the latter then your chances of getting a mortgage are very slim.

I would definitely look into shared ownership and help to buy schemes. And speak to a financial advisor who may be able to suggest things you haven't thought of.

Good luck.

Wow the recent comments have been so helpful and useful- loads of really great suggestions and advice- thank you!

I am on a 0 hours contract yes, my job are just very consistent with my hours as they know I work around free childcare and have bills to pay. These things also make the job very worth it to me but of course, the 0 hours will not go in my favour for a mortgage.

TheLetterZ I had never thought of it like that, perhaps I should ask for a raise! Perhaps I could be a lunch time floor manager, that's such a good idea. When the DC are in school I would like to work my way through to management again, perhaps somewhere like a cafe where the hours are daytime only, so that's a great way to start.

Just a thought OP, my friend was in a similar position to you and she managed the restaurant of a garden centre - weekend work but no evenings. Again just a thought.

That sounds like a lovely job! The dream is to have my own cafe some day. DH is currently moving through the ranks at his job and is having some very valuable training, another reason not to move just yet! We will hopefully be setting up his own business in a few years and after that it will hopefully be my turn! That's more of a 10 year plan though!

Good luck to you op, let us all know when you open your cafe and we shall come for and

If money is tight you should wait until DC1 is 3 and qualifies for free childcare up to 30 hours before having a DC2. As others have said you would not necessarily get a 3 bed house under social housing if you got anything at all. I would continue to save and look for an affordable 3 bed in a few years time. The baby would be in with you for 6 months anyway. There is no point buying a 2 bed house where the second bed does not even hold a bed. How can it be called a bedroom if it will only take a cot and chest of drawers. Is it a new build?

I agree that shared ownership may be worth considering if you are on low wages and living in an expensive area. My DD and her husband live in the same town as us and PIL and we each do a days childcare so I understand why you would want to stay in the area. In the long run a mortgage is generally cheaper than renting so definitely continuing to save (don't go for 100% mortgage) is a good idea.

OP It wouldn't hurt to speak to your local council and see what the score is re SH. I live on the edge of the Cotswolds and there are schemes for local families usually in villages so they can stay in the area they were born in. You wont know until you ask

Sorry if this has been mentioned already, but have you looked at Shared Ownership?

You part buy, part rent and you can buy the rest of the house in stages until you get to 100%.

You wouldn't even get anywhere near to being put on the council waiting list round here... you wouldn't qualify.

Good luck with your family, OP, it sounds like you are being very sensible and normally I would say it's a good idea to get some advice from Mumsnet.
Unfortunately, you seem to have picked a time when the most bitter, miserable and joyless toerags were replying and who will only be happy when you are as miserable as them :-). Stay positive OP as you and your OH seem to have all the right ideas.
I am old enough to remember when council housing was merely a common sense way to house a nation and I'm saddened that it is now considered a treat for our betters to dish out to the proles if they are considered 'deserving'.
You have received some good advice in between the bile and should have quite a bit to chew on. FWIW, my thoughts are similar to many others:-

1. Start bidding on social housing/shared ownership as it comes up, you never know. There is no stigma in renting social housing it is supposed to be for everyone.
2. Carry on saving for your mortgage and speak to a mortgage advisor, again you never know your luck and something that suits you may turn up.
3. Resign yourself to a 2 bed house for a few years, it's not a big deal for kids when they are babies/toddlers, with luck given your sensible hard working approach you will be able to move into a bigger house down the line. Good luck guys!

Hello, I don’t have much to add as no nothing about private renting or social housing, but I think you sound like a really nice person who is doing the best for her family and just wants a bit of a break to get on the next step. Good luck 🌸🌸

Not RTFT but in order to get a 3 bed from social housing you would need the sibling to be born already and have a birth certificate and even then they would tell them to share a bedroom. We were very lucky to get our 3 bed house as no one else wanted it.

In my area social housing is about the same price as my mortgage... and I'm not throwing money away in rent

I had my first dc no problem, we always thought we'd need a three bed. Over a decade later, no second dc. Buy a two bed. Three months of saving is nothing and as dc1 gets older will eat what you eat anyway. It might seem a few months of crazy but worth it long term.

Good luck with whatever you decide but please research shared ownership properly (as another person said) I think there can be restrictions on extensions etc. You might not want to work extra hours but look into paid surveys, mystery shopping etc as that can generate a little extra income which can be put towards savings. We're downsizing so we can clear the mortgage early, yes it's caused some rows (as OH has so much stuff) but since we only had 1 child (our other wasnt meant to be) it made sense for us. I wish you all the best.

I would say just be patient. It sounds like you're asking for advice on a plan, not on any immediate decision making and I don't know why you're getting such a hard time.

Ultimately, buying your own place will be the best option for you in the long term, but it may take some short term sacrifices to get there. As your DD is only 8 months, and no dc2 yet, you don't need to rush, just keep saving and trying to build up your affordability. It might mean increasing your hours in say 6 months time, or a year, or possibly changing jobs to up your income. Plan for dc2 along the way, once you've got your house maybe?

Agree with PP, SH is highly unlikely in your position and wouldn't stand you in any better stead space wise.

No need to justify location, working arrangements, etc, they are your business and obviously work for you.

Your plan to up your hours and buy a 2-bed and then extend later sounds good. I think you could afford to hold off for a few months and enjoy your DD for a bit longer first. As others have mentioned kids can share happily while they're young, plus house prices aren't really rising at the moment. Do you have a specific age gap in mind? A lot of people think 2-3 years is ideal but I know people with 4 or 5 year age gaps that have worked really well.

Suppose you buy the house, this may be doable. If you want 2 children, would you fit 2 cot beds side by side in the small room or a small double and give the kids the bigger room? Most children can sleep in cot beds til they’re about 5/6 btw. Alternatively, you could stagger the beds on top of eachother as opposed to bunk beds So custom float one off the ground across the room and one on the ground lengthways. No big drop from a bunk bed at a young age.

Social housing would only give you a two bedrooms house, please do think about not buying the same house unless you really want it. Why don't you save up for longer and but something you really want, don't put too much pressure on yourselves, it's silly. He wait for social housing would be lengthy as they wouldn't see you as a priority. I loved in social housing for years, as soon as my son moved out I did too as I was unwell not working and hit with the bedroom tax. I'll never be able to afford a mortgage and I'm happy in my rented flat, landlord is very good and hasn't put the rent up once in five years, unlike the council who did so every year .... My rent double within 17 years, my income didnt.

Reading some of the replys .... Ffs !!!!! You sound lovely, money doesn't make you a good parent. My parents had money and tbh my friends who had less seemed happier and got on better with their mum and dad. Love is what really counts. You're area lovely. Btw I love I'm a beautiful area and housing amongst cheapest in UK

The op is asking reasonable questions. I don't understand all the snarking and humphy faces in response.

Re Social Housing. It varies around the country so even if the op wasn't able to get on the list in one place she may well qualify somewhere else.

Its not immoral to live in a small house and plan to have a second child in the future ffs.

mn is full of weirdos.