To ask WWYD as I am so stuck with this

[ificouldwritealettertome]

I'll try to be concise but don't want to drip feed. Me and DH have one DC, would love another sooner rather than later. Currently renting, but would like to buy before TTC so we are set up and financially sorted.

Money is tight- DH covers the rent and bills with very little left over and I cover the food shop, baby milk/clothes whatever we need. I'm a waitress on NMW and just about have enough money for these.

We have just under a 5% deposit for a 2 bed house in the area we live in. Our budget would not allow for a 3 bed, but of course we will need a 3 bed for our 2nd DC. So We would have to build an extension on the 2 bed (financially doable as we have friends/family in the building and carpentry trade and would have help).

Starting now, to secure a mortgage, we would have to reduce our monthly spending (even smaller food shops, etc) for at least 3 months and I would have to up my hours at work so that our pay slips look better and we save up the rest of our deposit. I am currently doing 30 hours and DD is only just 8 months so that will be hard.

We would see very little of each other as a family and money would be extremely tight, we have already cancelled things like Sky and have changed energy providers to the cheapest tariff, etc so our bills are as low as physically possible.

If we get denied a mortgage, we will be applying for social housing as we can not afford to rent a 3 bed and our current place is absolutely tiny. My question is, AIBU to think about jusy going for social housing straight away?

We are already struggling financially and I don't know how many more hours at work I can take. I am exhausted. I already miss the baby and am looking forward to a sibling for her but, realistically, if we buy it would be a couple of years to extend by the time we have completed the sale, applied for planning permission and built it.

I feel as though we may go through all the stress of applying for a mortgage and get denied anyway as we do not have much money and will only have a 5% deposit. Should we push for a house that we own, which is something we both really want, or just accept that it is too ambitious for us and apply for affordable housing? WWYD?

People are being unnecessarily rude.

Without sounding patronising, you sound lovely and like you are genuinely trying to find the best solution for your family.

If I were in your position, I would (unfortunately) hold off on another child until I sorted my situation. DEFINITELY try to buy if you know you can manage the mortgage and reevaluate your financial position once in the new house. Then consider a new baby and the possibility of them sharing until your position improves.

Good luck!

Well perhaps that's why I'm wrong about what I thought social housing was then

Probably. Maybe a pride thing with them. But as a pp pointed out, if you could just pay cheaper rent for social housing whenever you wanted they'd have to have an unlimited and endless supply of social houses.

Social housing has predominatly always been for those in need. Not for those who just fancy paying less rent. Your thought process is not feasible if you think about it.

But yes the situation is much, much worse now. People were given lifetime tenancies, and in addition right to buy was introduced and many people bought their council houses, and the government didn't replenish the housing stock. So with less and less social housing available as they were sold off and so many people living in them for ever even when they could afford to live elsewhere when their circumstances improved, in most areas those in dire need were not being housed. Many families live cramped in tiny bedsits and the like, housed by the gorernment as they wait for properties, any property to become available for to house that family.

The government is also changing legislation to force social landlords to not give lifetime tenancies and review based on need every so often to ensure the limited housing stock is used for those in the utmost most need. It's dire situation in many places.

So yes, providing food and shelter for your husband is your and your husbands responsibility. There really is no, I will just get a council house because it's cheaper option.

Do look into the ISA mentioned. Do check the benefits calculator too. Living in an area such as the Cotswolds is not always easy. I understand you dont want to move away, its very sad families become less close when new generations simply cant afford to stay in the areas their families have for years. Though investing in the Cotswolds sounds very wise. Get some proper mortgage advice op. Little ones can bunk together for years whilst your investment grows. Try to avoid the 100% mortgages if you can and do not take any loans attached to them especially if interest rate is tied to you keeping your mortgage with that company. People who took out 100% mortgages before the alas crash were well and truly shafted.

*last crash

Good luck with your home and family.

Thank you whoknew, I've tried to come across as best as I can (even though some posts have upset me) and I am trying to be realistic.

I think we're actually very lucky that as a family this is our only dilemma. We both have jobs, are very happy, love being parents and our DD is healthy and perfect and will grow up loved even if she shares a room with 27 siblings!!

I think your first stop should be to get some mortgage advice. Once you know how much you can borrow and what the payments are likely to be as well as the risk factors such as interest rate change etc, then you can start looking at what you can afford.

Our dc shared a room until ds was 8 and dd 5. They loved it and weren’t particularly bothered about having their own rooms!

I understand you dont want to move away, its very sad families become less close when new generations simply cant afford to stay in the areas their families have for years

I'm so glad to read that- I really do not want to move away from our support network. The GPs also love having their 'day' with DD, she is the first grandchild on each side and so I don't really want to move her away from everyone.

Have you looked at shared ownership or rent to buy social housing? They are usually new builds so you have to keep an eye out

This is an example of a fair rent scheme run in my area - the houses are exactly the same as those who have bought
livebetter-rentsmart.co.uk/about-smart/

Ooh thanks littleorange! Not heard about this but amazing idea!

Goggle your local housing associations; most will have properties you can apply direct for without being on a waiting list. They will assess applicants as to who is most suitable and you can get a property much faster.

If you get on the actual social housing lists you will be low down as there will be no identified need at the moment (not homeless, not overcrowded etc.) so the wait will be a long one.

You won't necessarily be excluded from three beds. I work in the north west and it is often more about the bedroom tax, being able to afford any top ups etc. As you're both working that may not be an issue.

Good luck whatever way you go. I'm a huge fan of social housing for everyone, especially in the current climate where it's difficult to buy.

Goggle your local housing associations; most will have properties you can apply direct for without being on a waiting list. They will assess applicants as to who is most suitable and you can get a property much faster

Perfect- I am off to bed now but will do this in the morning!

Also I know not your area but someone I know was looking at new build in somerset and they had a scheme for reduced housing costs for local people to enable them to stay in the area - so in short keep eye out for the New Build areas but also shared ownership on local housing sites

Money Saving Expert is great for mortgage & housing advice

Go to an Independent Financial Advisor and your bank

Keep doing what youre doing and you'll get there in the end.

Social housing was very different in the 50s/60s there was not as much stigma attached and some areas were aiming for regeneration etc so there was a wide choice of stock - perhaps this was the era of your parents either way it doesn't matter - you need to stop explaining yourself to everyone as you have articulated very well so far your misunderstandings

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say I can't believe how mean some people are being to you! I assume they all have perfect lives and know everything odd bullying behaviour

Social housing was very different in the 50s/60s there was not as much stigma attached and some areas were aiming for regeneration etc so there was a wide choice of stock - perhaps this was the era of your parents

Yes it was around then- they were early 40s having me so their advice is often a bit outdated as their circumstance was very different to mine.

Thanks eggcellent.

learnedfriend 'money being tight' is not the same as 'not being able to afford'.

And from so many posters assuring me bunk beds and room sharing works perfectly for them, I am even more certain that we could afford to extend our family. All we need is a little more space which I am working on.

Sorry, but a child is something you need to be able to provide for. You are unable.

I am able to be nice- I would much rather bring up lovely kids on a tight budget than have all the money in the World and have them say things like that to people.

Oh of course you are able - dc are born into far worse conditions than potentially sleeping in the same room as their parents for a while.

What about the downstairs - would there be room to put a conservatory type room on? If the houses have 2 reception rooms you can convert 1 to a bedroom?

Wow, people are so judge mental and plain rude! She's asking advice and looking at different options before making any decisions, sensible I'd say. You'd think she was living off benefits and having more babies purely for a bigger house. People just enjoy being harsh to others.. because they can.

Anyway, I would say try and save up but also speak to the council to find out your options, if you were given a council house your rent would be cheaper and you may be able to buy it in the future. But if you are able to get a mortgage, even better and you'd have to choice of choosing the house you want, rather than what the housing give you.

Good luck, I'm sure it will all work out and in the mean time sharing bedrooms is always fun when you're a kid! Makes the best memories

Not sure if anyone has mentioned it, but I'm not sure the 100% mortgages are as easy as they sound. From my knowledge the 2 providers offering them (Barclays and Post Office) have huge catches.

For Barclays I think it's the springboard mortgage where someone else puts the deposit in a savings account for 3 years to secure the loan. So you would need to find someone willing to do that.

I was reading about the Post Office 100% mortgages (being someone who is in a very similar position to the OP) and you need someone who has a house mortgage free to secure the loan against that property. So basically if you miss payments for your mortgage, they go after that unmortgaged property. I don't think many people would be crazy enough to take that risk. For the Post Office as well the rate is very high (over the current SVR for the first 2 years, which means for many the monthly mortgage payments would be more than rent costs and unaffordable for many.

I wish they did do 100% mortgages without the big catches but I suppose after the financial crash the last time there's a very good reason they don't.

Go for affordable social housing, be happy and have more babies. life is short.

Goggle your local housing associations; most will have properties you can apply direct for without being on a waiting list. They will assess applicants as to who is most suitable and you can get a property much faster.

I only know of one that accepts direct applications from people under-55, Places for People. All the other HAs in my part of the south-east only take people nominated by the council, and you have to bid on them in the same way as you do council properties. And rents are generally higher than council.

Would you consider places a bit further afield and just outside the Cotswolds? That can make a big difference. I live in a national park, and if you go just beyond the boundary (which is only 7 or 10 miles away), properties are much cheaper.

Tbh, I think the council idea is a non-starter, because there's such a shortage of property. In a lot of areas, people only get properties if they are homeless or about to be homeless, or have other compelling needs, like needing adapted accommodation. Even in bad disrepair cases, the council now tends to take action against landlords rather than house the tenants.

You sound like you are doing the best you can for your family. Have you looked into applying for working families tax credits? We are also living in the tiniest house ever in expensive London but it's a nice feeling when you own a house. You can decorate how you want etc. My aunt had 6 children and had two sets of bunk beds in one bedroom! Not great but you survive!
Find a good mortgage broker (London and County?) as they'll be able to look at all options for you. Interest rates will start creeping up soon so sooner rather than later is best if you're buying.

You're wise to be looking at the options in advance, and as a pp said it could be 3 years before no 2 needs a bedroom.

Plenty of time to save, buy and renovate. Could you do evening waitressing even just at the weekend? Tips are usually good at nice restaurants, as a teen I was doubling my pay on a weekend.

You are asking the right questions and talking it though is one of the best ways to realise your options.

From what I have read, you like you job and are good at it, it gives you job satisfaction and a support network. Both of these are worth a lot. You said you were in hotel management before but the hours are horrendous, could you speak to your hotel about picking up some more responsibility- not full on management but team leader, training new staff, lunch time floor manager that sort of thing and see if you can add some value onto your wage. Also, you are good at your job and have regulars that like you, ask for a pay raise, you are bringing more to the table (boom boom) than a new start and that should be recognised.

In terms of the house/flat. If the property is small I have always preferred a flat as less square meterage is lost in stairs and hallways so more is useful. Also be flexible in thinking about the layout. Could the smallest bedroom actually be for you, so long as it fits a double bed and minimum storage that is all adults need. Then the larger room would fit two children in better. Alternatively, just because the estate agent says 1 room is the lounge it doesn't have to be. Could the lounge becoms the bedroom and you have a den/snug with a sofa and tv?

Compromises have to be made but they don't have to be all bad and with some creativity you can make it work for you and your family.