To ask WWYD as I am so stuck with this

[ificouldwritealettertome]

I'll try to be concise but don't want to drip feed. Me and DH have one DC, would love another sooner rather than later. Currently renting, but would like to buy before TTC so we are set up and financially sorted.

Money is tight- DH covers the rent and bills with very little left over and I cover the food shop, baby milk/clothes whatever we need. I'm a waitress on NMW and just about have enough money for these.

We have just under a 5% deposit for a 2 bed house in the area we live in. Our budget would not allow for a 3 bed, but of course we will need a 3 bed for our 2nd DC. So We would have to build an extension on the 2 bed (financially doable as we have friends/family in the building and carpentry trade and would have help).

Starting now, to secure a mortgage, we would have to reduce our monthly spending (even smaller food shops, etc) for at least 3 months and I would have to up my hours at work so that our pay slips look better and we save up the rest of our deposit. I am currently doing 30 hours and DD is only just 8 months so that will be hard.

We would see very little of each other as a family and money would be extremely tight, we have already cancelled things like Sky and have changed energy providers to the cheapest tariff, etc so our bills are as low as physically possible.

If we get denied a mortgage, we will be applying for social housing as we can not afford to rent a 3 bed and our current place is absolutely tiny. My question is, AIBU to think about jusy going for social housing straight away?

We are already struggling financially and I don't know how many more hours at work I can take. I am exhausted. I already miss the baby and am looking forward to a sibling for her but, realistically, if we buy it would be a couple of years to extend by the time we have completed the sale, applied for planning permission and built it.

I feel as though we may go through all the stress of applying for a mortgage and get denied anyway as we do not have much money and will only have a 5% deposit. Should we push for a house that we own, which is something we both really want, or just accept that it is too ambitious for us and apply for affordable housing? WWYD?

TTC aside (you've already explained this enough!), I would try to get on the property ladder, the longer you wait, the more you'll need to save! Hopefully this link may be helpful for you to work out affordability before you see a mortgage advisor. If possible I'd steer clear of 100% mortgages, if the market crashes (some have predicted another could be on its way) you could end up with negative equity and stuck in a property you can't afford to sell! www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/help-to-buy-homebuy-and-other-housing-schemes
And don't forget to calculate fees in to the equation aswell.
Hopefully, a mortgage would be cheaper than renting. Most mortgages allow you to overpay by up to 10% per year. If for example, rent is £1000 and mortgage is £700, this gives you the opportunity to either put that extra £300 into savings for your extention, or overpay your mortgage (based on interest rates the latter is probably better value or even an 'offest' account), saving you potential thousands!
Good luck with whichever route you choose x

You know you were so patient and good in your reponses with the first few pages- listening to answers and responding with humility which is rare here! that I'm not surprised you're getting pissed off now with people who are attacking you.

You have a job you're good at. It doesn't pay much but you work hard. Your current location is not ideal, but good for husbands job and for being near to family which means help with childcare as a bonus.

You ideally want a 2 bed you can update to a 3 (or in a dream scenario a 3 bed) for your 1 baby and possible second at some point. Hous prices on 3 beds are out of your range and currently only small 2 beds are on sale in your price range.
You considered social housing but now you know that won't give you anything more.

So... the way i see it- you're not really TTC yet. You have lots of time. Wait at least until the end of the year to look for the right 2 bed to possibly update in the future. Cotswolds are expensive but there's lots being built. Shared ownership is worth investigating.

And ignore angry strangers. You sounds pretty sensible to me!

If you could add an extension at some point then I would go for a 2-bed 'do-er upper' with enlargement potential and go for the second baby now, as you don't know how long that will take. They could share for quite some time, especially if they are the same gender, and then 5 years or so down the line you could ask your builder friends to help with extending out or into the loft. I wouldn't go down the social housing route as you could end up in a rough street that you are then stuck with.

Go for buying the house if you can possibly manage it. Then you can enjoy baby one and have a breathing space. Go for baby two and an extension when you feel you can. It sounds as if you don’t buy a house now you never will.

Have only read the first page but I would suggest you get yourself on the waiting list for social housing. it costs nothing and doesn't preclude you from looking at getting a mortgage etc.
If as you say you have family and friends able to help do something up could you look for something that needs work.
Also I would look at what work you can actually do. You have customer service experience so are able to deal with the public so there are plenty of other jobs you could get with better pay or other waitressing jobs with more tips etc. My Sil worked her way up from washing dishes in a hotel to housekeeping manager and now director in the same hotel. Is there room for promotion in your place of work?

3 months of sacrifice really isn't much in the scheme of things anyway.

ificouldweitealettertome - just wanted to say you sound lovely and thoughtful. Good luck with your plans!

No social housing/council is going to offer you a 3 bed house on the premise that you want another child or are trying to have another child. What if the next one is a girl? In the eyes of the council (and law) they can share a bedroom. What if the next is a boy? In the eyes of the council (and the law) they can share up until the eldest child is 10 years old. I'm a housing association tenant, there are 5 of us in a 2 bed house - me, DH, DS1(16), DS2(11) and DS3(4) and we are still not eligible for a 3 bed house.

You sound lovely and very responsible. Try and buy if you can. Much more security for your family . We rented privately for years before managing to buy and so much happier for it. Good luck to you and your family. Ps ignore the haters on here.

I've read the full thread, the one thing I'm not sure has been picked up on yet is that if you're on a 0 hours contract you may not be able to get a mortgage as unfortunately you don't have a guaranteed income. Going back over 5 years but we couldn't when my DH was on 0 hours despite having 2 years of wage slips averaging over 45 hours a week.

Totally agree!

I think you should aim to buy if you can get a mortgage, even if the property is smaller than you'd like. I live in an expensive part of the country, and I hardly know any children who had their own rooms, in both council and owner-occupier properties. My own three shared one room and they're more or less grown up now. So that's not a necessity, even though you might think it's desirable. Remember that the living room counts as a bedroom when overcrowding criteria is worked out. So, a couple with two children, boy and girl, under ten, can live in a one-bed flat, as there are two sleeping rooms.

Hi everyone! Gosh, I wasn't expecting this thread to still be going! I'm really grateful for all the supportive comments, a few of the early ones were a bit full on- I'm glad to see I've got some back up! And many more helpful posters with advice and info.

My update is this: we have contacted a mortgage advisor company today and are hoping for a reply within the week with a view to set up an appointment. We have made a list of our income and outgoings ready to showcase, along with 3 months bank statements and 3 months wages each. Bearing in mind I am on a 0 hours contract, we assume my wage will be classed as 'supplementary' and may not be taken into account.

We are then hoping to get a more concrete idea of exactly what we could afford. We like the house opposite as we already know we love this street, have lived here a while so know the neighbours and it's a 10 minute walk to work and (for future) a 2 minute walk to nursery/school!

If we are in a good position to apply for a mortgage in principal we are going to contact the council to ask RE: likelihood of planning permission, then have a quick chat with the neighbours to ask about any objections. It is an end of terrace house with a big garden and where we could extend will not block any views/light so we are hopeful.

Assuming all goes well, the plan would be to move in, settle, save, extend and then hopefully have the next DC. Obviously plan B is to have a zillion kids and claim £1000000000 in benefits every week (joke! I'm joking!!!)

wtf Kind of long essay is this ? You need counselling

In the grand scheme of life, a tough 3-4 months is nothing really, is it? So worth it.

Good luck OP!

I grew up in a council house with working parents. It was perfectly achievable then but almost impossible now to be working and in social housing. You can get your name on a list but you will be far down that list and others will be constantly "pushing in" IYSWIM. It's such a shame you are unable to consider a different area for work/life. I am in the north of England in a coastal town with lots of hotels/cafes etc. You could have a decent sized place here and easily afford childcare. We moved from the home counties when our eldest two DCs were tiny and we'd outgrown our small maisonette. Yes it involved uprooting everyone as well as leaving jobs and family but we felt it was putting our family unit first. We've been here 16 years and never once regretted it.

Some utter twats here, you don't need counselling, you're putting care and thought into a couple of huge decisions. You seem lovely to me, take that has a huge compliment . Mumsnet does not inspire compliments, although there's a few decent mums on this page :) one huge twat ... Counselling ffs.

Not much care and thought ..."of course we need a 3rd bedroom for 2nd DC" load of smug shite.

wtf Kind of long essay is this ? You need counselling

One that isn't mandatory to read. Do you struggle making choices? You need counselling.

Thank you marge! They are pretty big decisions to make... glad of the help making them tbh!

Agree. Complete bellend twat!! Counselling my arse!!

Oh hi again myfriendbob 😂

Just caught up. Your zero hour contract shouldn’t be an issue if you have payslips proving you have consistently been working the 30 hours. I’ve worked as a supply teacher and this has come up a lot about getting a mortgage and people have managed this on supply which is basically zero hour contracts and not very much work guaranteed at the moment. Your other half with a more a consistent job will help too.

Get some independent advice from a financial advisor as has been suggested. We were offered things we didn’t know existed.

Be careful on 100% mortgages. My current house was bought 10 years ago. We secured one of the last 100% available at the time and they were then withdrawn. We moved in and the housing market crashed. My house has been in negative equity ever since and 10 years later I’ve only just been able to remortgage to a new rate once my fixed rate expired after 3 years. Add into that 2 children and a divorce I’m basically stuck in my house with no options at the moment. Ex walked. Long story but name not on mortgage as credit issues at the time (not his fault) which were then sorted but were advised to wait til the remortgage to add him on as too expensive to just do it. That time never came! On the plus side I will eventually have some equity and I have my own place. I’m lucky living in the cheap north. 3 bed terrace bought for £92k. Currently only worth about £80 but my kids have their own room. They share at their dad’s as he started again. Couldn’t get anywhere with social housing so privately rented a 2 bed place for a while. Now has a 4 bed but another child so they still share there. Sharing is fine if they have a decent sized room. He put them on the box room to start with but eventually swapped them to the double room and he and his partner share the box room - not quite a box room but a small 3rd bedroom.

You sound like you have your head screwed on. There’s 3 years between my children. (Fertility issues prevented closet gap) but it’s fine. I’ve family with a 5 year gap between children - they had them in the days before any free childcare so basically waited til the first child started school.

Don’t forget you work to live. You don’t love to work. It’s great you enjoy your job and you’re happy doing it. I can see what you don’t want the extra stress. I’ve re wives snobbery from family after I walked out of a well paid career and started applying for NMW jobs in retail/call centres. Unfortunately for me those jobs wouldn’t take me and I’ve been forced back into the better paid but more stressful job so I now work part time so that I can spend time with my children and do the school run type things. I’m studying again too to try and retrain as I’ve got another 30 years of working life ahead of me!!

No harm in enquiringly about the social housing. At least you’ll know what that option is either way.

Good luck. I agree some people have been really nasty on here but there’s been lots of fan advice too!

Oops. Can’t edit. Dad now has a 3 bed not 4 bed. Hence the sharing. Fat fingers and all that!!

Ill confess I’ve not read the full Thread, don’t forget that baby number two could be in with you easily until they’re one, so that buys you a little time if you feel like you don’t want too big a gap.
Have you thought about moving to a cheaper area of the country? Obviously this depends on family and job constraints but some areas of the country you would get a four bed detached for the price of a two bed flat in others, might be worth having a look around :-)

I also meant you work to live, you don’t live to work!! Not love!! Haha. You love your work thigh so that’s a bonus.

I am 67. When we were buying many yrs ago we scrimped on everything. No eating out very little new clothes rare bottle of wine occasional cinema outing. we did this for yrs . it's what you do. and it's worth it. Social housing is fine too. And its longterm. Theres no guarantee of longterm with private rentals and it's much cheaper than private rentals but long waiting list for nice areas. You don't need 3rd bedroom at all. nonsense. but make sure you can afford 2nd child. hope this helps.😊