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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask about headscarf etiquette?

147 replies

HoneyBadgerApparently · 11/05/2018 20:43

Do Muslim women who chose to wear a headscarf wear it at home?

And if you don’t wear it at home, is it something you look forward to whipping off the minute you walk through the door before you get comfy (like I do with my bra Wink)

Asking purely out of curiosity.

OP posts:
AlpacaLypse · 12/05/2018 22:02

What's a tichel? (Haven't had time to google)

TeaStory · 12/05/2018 22:04

A tichel is a Jewish hair covering.

Etymology23 · 12/05/2018 22:09

Thank you for the patient answering of questions here - I have been reading and have learnt a lot! Smile

BartholinsSister · 12/05/2018 22:17

Are women who chose to shave their heads still required to wear a head covering?

Jesuisleloup · 12/05/2018 22:25

@babba2014 : your comment about wearing in the toilet, is that a cultural thing?

babba2014 · 12/05/2018 23:04

I've been to Saudi Arabia and it was really hot during the day, cool at night but wearing black was very comfortable. I think as we're not wearing several layers either and it is really loose and flowy.

Jinns can lurk in toilets that's why we have specific prayers when entering and leaving the loo:

Before entering it is O Allah I ask you for protection from the male and female jinn

It's not like something WILL happen to you if you don't pray it but just like humans jinns also have naughty ones amongst them (eg those who enter the body of a human which is against their rules) and so just like how we eat and say in the name of God and with the blessings of God, we have prayers for the loo, for hot weather, cold weather, drinking zamzam, etc etc. and as we're taught it from a young age it becomes a part of you. We even pray when we have exams! Eg Allhumma zid fazid (O Allah increase my knowledge).

Hence it isn't a cultural thing but we have been taught from the Qur'an and the way of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and those around him (men and women).

I may have different answers to others but I did study Islam in depth sort of like how imams do, well quite alike to be honest.

We have prayers for everything and even praying to protect ones home.
If I elaborate on the jinn part, we're recommend to read version from the 3rd chapter of the Qur'an (Surah Aal Imran) to keep them out.
It's not like they bother all people but they can and do to some. Jinns are like kids though, if you speak up and tell them to get lost they will. But I've not had to encounter that myself.

I mean we have prayers for when we are ill in Arabic (O Lord of the people, you are the Curer, there is no cure except with your will, such a cure that will not miss its target, cure me) and you read it 7 times whilst placing your hand on the place that is affected (like the head when you have a headache)

When we travel we have a prayer to pray for a safe journey.

To be honest it feels like a lot of love around that no matter what weather, health, situation you have God there with you and you have faith in Him. It doesn't feel like a burden. I've been non religious at a point in my life and came back when I realised how this world just doesn't feel right and really there is another world and that's what we are working towards.

Anyway I digress! The point of the post is that we believe there is a God, Prophets, Angels, Satan, Jinns - some who are in Satans army and some who are also believers, there's this world and the next. We wake up with a prayer thanking God for another day in life and a prayer at night, and all that in between for various different reasons. Of course not everyone does it but the more you study your own religion and believe in it the more you will understand it especially through life experiences.

No one's better than another but you'll see Muslims at various stages of their lives and one cannot represent another but it's good to find a local male or female scholar and learn about it in depth like a study subject, it'll probably be very different to what you learn in school!

babba2014 · 12/05/2018 23:06

@Jesuisleloup
I added a reply above but it's a bit long but it isn't a cultural thing. We're encouraged to cover our head from the hadeeth (sayings or actions of the prophet peace be upon him or those Muslims around him).

blackbirddown · 13/05/2018 18:28

it IS mostly definitly a cultural thing.
The quran doesn't mention it therefore I don't do it and neither do millions of Muslims and nothing's ever happened to them.
I think i can guess what part of the world your ancestors are from.

Bratsandtwats · 13/05/2018 18:33

If you're planning to take food, don't forget that Ramadan starts this week.

ie maybe don't take freshly baked food round at normal meal times. Might be a little cruel. I have no willpower

CowesTwo · 13/05/2018 18:51

As a child in the late 50s and early 60s, I remember all women covering their heads in church. As a Catholic I had a black lace mantilla which I just loved wearing. An atheist since age 14, I went back to church recently to accompany a friend , and I was amused at my own shocked reaction to all the hatless women present! All those bare heads. My friend kept saying 'for goodness sake, when were you last in church, it's been like this for decades!"

Elledouble · 13/05/2018 19:02

I’ve always wondered how those beehive-style hijabs were done! They look so cool!

AndThereWeHaveIt · 13/05/2018 19:03

Blackbird, each to their own. A bit out of order with your ancestor comment

blacksheeep · 13/05/2018 19:11

I wear a hijab and as soon as I walk in I whip it off along with my bra!

As a house warming present I would say take a cake or tin of biscuits. As I Muslim I choose to buy 'suitible for vegiterians' as I don't eat beef or pork gelatin unless it's halal.

And finally just wanted to say what a wonderful person you are Thanks

ALongHardWinter · 13/05/2018 19:23

I wonder if somebody could explain why hair (on your head) is seen as a sexual thing in women,in Islam?

FastSlug · 13/05/2018 19:23

Blacksheep, I smiled at not eating pork gelatin unless halal. Grin

FastSlug · 13/05/2018 19:40

Longhardwinter,

Hair is not considered a sexual thing in women in islam

Ohmydayslove · 13/05/2018 19:47

My hair gets greasy after one day of not washing. I would think a head scarf would be wonderful but remember my mom wore one, knotted under her chin, in the 70s. Chiffon. Grin you could buy them as plastic in machines like tamps.

Deffo love taking the bra off Smile

Ohmydayslove · 13/05/2018 19:47

Tampax!!!

TooManyPaws · 13/05/2018 19:56

@lljk I grew up in Bahrain in the 1960s and 1970s and I clearly remember the Women's Park which was relatively near our house. The gardeners would do their work and then leave; the guarded gates would then be opened to women and children only. There were high walls, no views from overlooking buildings, and guards to stop men entering, so women could take off their covering with only other women and children to see.

I've often wondered about that when I hear of rickets and low levels of Vitamin D occurring in British cities.

CaparaAlecha · 13/05/2018 20:01

Occupied lands must of course mean the Moroccan occupation of Western Sahara, the Turkish occupation of Northern Cyprus, the Pakistani occupation of Kashmir or the Turkish occupation of Northern Syria. Hmm

blackbirddown · 13/05/2018 20:30

i was out of line with that comment, I didn't mean it the way it read, but either way I apologise.

CadyHeron · 13/05/2018 20:58

Love this type of thread, following happily! As I love to learn about other ways of lives and cultures.
Was out and about earlier this week at a popular tourist attraction and it can was absolutely boiling hot. Lots of women covered up in headscarves, thought the exact same thing - aren't you too hot?! Will never get on board with women having to cover themselves up, but that's just me and each to their own Smile interesting to read all the responses on here!

CadyHeron · 13/05/2018 21:01

Jinns can lurk in loos? What are jinns? Confused

lljkk · 13/05/2018 21:04

afaik, jinns are mischievous or even evil little spirits (or close to spirits or demons). They curse you, screw up your life, make you ill -- anything bad that happened to you was probably a jinn's work. VERY pre-Islamic superstitions that carried over into Islam. Did the Koran even talk about Jinns?

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