...to ask about headscarf etiquette?

[HoneyBadgerApparently]

Do Muslim women who chose to wear a headscarf wear it at home?

And if you don’t wear it at home, is it something you look forward to whipping off the minute you walk through the door before you get comfy (like I do with my bra )

Asking purely out of curiosity.

Honey your post is so refreshing.

Oops my earlier post should have said Muslim MEN don't cover their hair when praying.

My hair is past my waist and on hot days I wear it in a bun because it gets sweaty. Does the head scarf get unbearably hot during the summer, like my hair does?

thetriangleisarealinstrument I do agree with your point but I would just like to say larger breastfed women (well me anyway) do not wear a bra to cover up the sexual aspect of my boobs, it is purely for support and to prevent injury to my back black eye prevention if I could not wear one all day and still run about without pain, trust me I bloody would!

I think your point about the skirts is spot on though!

I remember in the 1970s when wearing a headscarf was very popular amongst white british women.Those square ones and they were tied under the chin.

Hair can also easily be viewed as a secondary sexual characteristic. i dont think that is the case and some muslims might cover their hair praying but its not common

Can I ask a nosy question, too? Is it terribly hot wearing a headscarf and do you get used to it?

I've worn a headscarf in hot countries and I found it actually shaded me from the heat. If you wear a light scarf it doesn't really make you any hotter, in fact it moving around slightly makes a bit of a draft!

Hair can also easily be viewed as a secondary sexual characteristic.

And it was here until relatively recently. I was reading a book on the history of Georgian London and in bath houses it was perfectly acceptable to be naked but hair was still covered for reasons of decency!

I had a room next door to a Muslim lady in university halls. About 8 or 10 people sharing kitchen and bathroom facilities. She said that technically she ought to put the scarf on every time she left her room as she could bump into unrelated males, but she said she took a pragmatic approach and didn't feel God would mind that much if she nipped to the loo with her hair uncovered!

I just think that all cultures have different ideas about which body parts are sexual and/or innappropriate to have on display if you are trying to show respect.
I think even if you are an athiest living in the uk you will still have some cultural ideas about which parts of your body are appropriate to show in certain settings. Its so ingrained in some people that they cant see it and so think that some other cultures definitions of what is considered a disrespectful body part to show are repressive and mad whereas the ones they would choose to cover are genuinely disrespectful as a fact..... which is hypocritical none sense.

Hair can also easily be viewed as a secondary sexual characteristic. its not secondary sexual characteristics are those developed at pubity ie breasts adams apple but then even the quran dosnt say it is a secondary seual characteristic or even that it should be covered at any time male or female

I wear a headscarf to pray/visit the mosque. There are lighter fabrics and styles of hijāb more suited to the warmer weather.
I always think it looks so elegant, a well matched scarf.

As it is nearly Ramadan, maybe a pack of dates (easily available in most supermarkets now) as part of the gift would be appreciated. Muffins sound great. I think your neighbours would think it really thoughtful. Maybe a Happy Ramadan card or message.
Our lovely neighbour brings us back stotties from Newcastle, as they are exclusive to that area 😁

I remember when I was little that you rarely saw women over a certain age out without a headscarf on, it was part of the "outside" outfit - coat, bag and headscarf. My Nan was one and actually my Granddad wouldn't have dreamed of leaving the house without a smart hat on either.

I love to learn about other cultures but I always worry about asking questions because I don't want to inadvertently offend or come across like a total twat, so I'm watching this thread very happily!

My dgm always wore a scarf when she went out and a hat to church.

Okay lots of questions so will try to answer as many as I can.

We do wear it at home too for praying the Qur'an or performing Salah (five times a day prayer).

I'm not fussed about taking it off at home, bras are uncomfortable whereas the headscarf is quite soft and light. If it is a really hot day and we've been on a day out during a heatwave then yes as I'd probably be hitting the shower next.

We cover our heads (men too) in the loo. See it's not just about women covering their beauty from men, it's also protection from the jinn (evil spirits which linger in dirty places like toilets - they run away when you read certain prayers or even by daily recitation of Qur'an to not bother humans).
The headscarf is also GREAT protection from the sun. It keeps you cooler. Same with the long black dress you may see us wear. Air flows in and out wonderfully.
I remember during a lesson at secondary school we were told covering top to bottom and wearing loose black is the best for sun protection. I smiked to myself as that's what I wore outside of school.

I also remember my language teacher staying out loud how she didn't get how so many girls were wearing head scarves and long dresses with long sleeves. She regularly wore vests. To be honest the heat or sun going directly on your skin is worse as you feel the direct heat as well as skin not being protected. I've known lots of people who have been ill for sure bathing and vowed to always use sun protection creams no matter what (even if they have to buy plastic as they're trying to go down the plastic free route). Covering the skin solves that without needing any creams.

As for a gift, a smile and hello is more than enough but I'd probably avoid home made snacks and just do something boring like a box of generic chocolates or something. I've been into making random little gift bags of alsorts like a fancy bag of crisps (or just one of those oversized normal crisps) with a drink in a glass bottle like schloer or feel good (Asda and Morrisons have them) with a small box of chocolates. It ends up only costs £3 or something and looks lightweight fancy.

And yes yes to the comments about women wearing head scarves before Muslims arrived in the UK. Even kids used to wear big hats and cover their arms in the summer. I remember seeing pics like that during history classes.

If buying dates for Ramadhan, as it's next week, make sure you check the label in case it's from occupied lands. I'd probably avoid it to be on the safe side.

Scrolling up through the comments in case I missed anything - no the headscarf doesn't feel bit and sweaty (choose a light fabric for summer and a heavier one for winter, all sorted) :)
However if you have long hair your feel sweaty from that but we'd do the same, roll it into a bun and good to go. My scarves never tend to stick to my neck or anything, as they're quite loose and flowy they go along with the breeze or if there's no breeze it rides of the bun and lands on your back. You get used to it to be honest and it's not an issue. I can say the same about the face veil too.
Don't feel bad asking, curiosity is all good and learning is better.

Also apologies for any spelling mistakes. I've just moved house myself and knackered from all that packing and unpacking.

i remember the 1960s in Afghanistan when women didnt have to cover their hair or body what changed?

Mmm. I don't buy the hair bwing a secondary sexual characteristic thing. Men also have hair after puberty but arent proscribed to cover it up to preserve their modesty.

I am not fussed about head coverings. If you want to do it, go for it, you dont need to explain or rationalise. It's your business.

Someone said that covering up in e.g. a niqab can have health benefits. It can also have health risks, namely, Vitamin D deficiency.

I dont have much time for people telling women how they should dress, be that Imams, Preists, Victorian moralisers, Judge Pickles-types, or the fashion industry. However, if women make their own decisions with free will, fine.

It depends on the Order, but Catholic nuns wear the habit as a symbolic uniform - they cut their hair or shaved it and then covered it as a way of eschewing vanity. The habit (nuns garb) was to signfiy that a woman gave up all her worldly posessions and and is clothed by her Order from that point on.

Nowadays though (since Vatican II) Nuns generally wear their own clothes - in any colour - and the veil is optional, but usually used for more formal or sombre occasions. Ordinary day to day she wouldn't bother with it. My aunt who is a lifelong nun usually opts for pastel blouses, with a grey or navy skirt and cardigan, slacks if out walking but when she first took her vows, she was in the old style black and white starched habit that covered all her hair.

My colleague wears a hijab and does admit she gets very hot in it. We're friends on social media and she definitely wears it by choice as there are many pictures of her with her head uncovered out and about.

She's recently taken to wearing an abaya too (the black dress). I understand her reason for going ultra modest every day is because she is pregnant and has just started to show - she says it's easier than buying lots of maternity clothes and has joked she's secretly wearing sweatpants underneath!

As far as a gift goes, I always think you can't go wrong with flowers and a nice card (and sign your names - I can't stand when people are twee and put "the bunch at number 3!" - it makes everything instantly friendlier).

This is how the Queen wore hers a couple of days ago

metro.co.uk/2018/05/11/prince-philip-seen-first-time-since-leaving-hospital-joins-queen-horse-show-7538051/

@MissEliza all the Muslim men in my family cover their heads whilst praying...they wear the Taqiya (a small skull cup).

I’m Catholic but most of my family are Muslim. None of my family wear the hijab, niqab or burka but the females wear the Dupatta which is very thin and worn loosely. At home, all the females would take it off their heads and usually wear it round their necks ready to pop back over their heads if they had to nip out or pray or if a visitor came to the door.

On the Catholic side some of us wear the mantilla in church or in private prayer at an altar and I often take a pashmina or light scarf (like a dupatta!) to drape over my shoulders if I’m on pilgrimage to a very holy site. The mantilla is becoming more popular amongst a lot of young women. In the past it was only the elderly that you’d see wearing them in the UK and Ireland.

I don’t see any of it as misogynistic and I’ve never felt pressured to cover my head. It’s a choice and I see it as a form of reverence and respect for both oneself and the Creator. However, my family are from a largely liberal and secular country so I’m seeing it through that lens.

As for presents, I go along with the Schloer (or any grape juice) and dates suggestions above...we all love medjool dates! We’d also buy a box of Indian sweets as we have a great shop in the next town. But to be honest, most of the time we treat each other to big boxes of posh chocolates (no alcohol) or fancy tins of biscuits.

I thought white was more sun repellent than black? It’s always surprised me that abayas are black. Wouldn’t white be cooler in hot countries?

One of the school mums I know favours a hoodie and a thick headband around the house. She whips it up if she has to answer the door no different to me if I’ve got greasy hair .

My friend always looks so stylish and glamerous in her hijab (she always has very pretty ones), makes me wish I could wear one at times