To think this wedding arrangement is a bit odd?

[Brendobfh]

I’m going to a wedding in July which is an hour away from where I live. Three of us have arranged to share a taxi there & back. All fine and I’m very pleased to be invited.

I found out today though that the church is 10 miles away from the hotel the reception’s at. I’m obviously going to try & find a local taxi firm to do the journey but it’s very rural.

Every other wedding I’ve been to where the wedding & reception are a distance away from each other has put on either a bus, asked if any guests needed to car share or at least provided some taxi information.

I had (and I accept it’s on me to check) assumed the church & reception were in walking distance since nothing has been mentioned about it. I can imagine other guests travelling to the church with no way of getting to the reception.

AIBU to think it’s a bit odd to not mention this to guests?

Is it because drinking a lot has become a central feature of weddings or perhaps that taxi use has become more ubiquitous?

It's not that drinking 'a lot' is the central feature of the weddings I've been to, but almost everyone I know would consider it really miserable to have to drive home from a wedding and so not be able to have a drink. Those who do drive (which isn't most of them) always plan around making sure they don't have to drive home that night - which yes, does often involve a taxi.

Why would the bride and groom have an objection to people not drinking alcohol at their party? Isn't that completely normal at many parties? Definitely not normal at the weddings & parties I go to. They would be beyond disappointed if we all turned up at the reception, had a few cokes and drove home.

MargaretCavendish what ended up happening?!

Is it your expectation that the guests will be over the limit before they go to the church? Of course not But people will want a drink at the reception, and taking the car for the sake of the church - reception journey means that the driver will spend the Saturday doing a 2 hour plus round trip and then have to do the same thing again on the Sunday. No one is going to drive and leave their cars and cause themselves another two hours of hassle on their other free weekend day.

Op so are you going there and back in one day? Not staying over? No, not staying over. It’s a small hotel and, rightly, the rooms are booked by the wedding party. Most guests will be going from & returning to the town I live in.

I have been to 30 plus weddings and some were rural and have never had a bus provided or anything similar. I think people,s you'd just get in with their win transport.

I do think no food at evening reception is rubbish though.

Either, drive leave your car there to pick up the next day and get taxi back. Car share get taxi back. Get a taxi to and from the venue.

However not providing evening food is just rude. Have they considered that the pub may not be able to accommodate 100+ hungry guests?

I am getting a taxi there and back, as most of the other guests will be. The thing I’m thinking of is once we’re all (sober) and in the church, those who took taxis have no way of doing the church-hotel part and can’t just ring a taxi on the day because it’s so rural. I think this thread shows that not everyone will assume there’s transport on though.

I’m really about the lack of evening food, not just for the evening guests but for the day time ones who won’t have eaten since 2:30. There’s no way I think I’m being unreasonable about that though so it wasn’t worth a thread There’s no wine on the tables either which, frankly, I also think is odd, but at least there’s a bar.

No wine on tables either?! Ffs, cheapskates!! ‘Come to our wedding and bring us a gift...and travel miles...and pay for a hotel and taxis....Oh, and pay for your own food!’

It’s a special ‘party’ and a good host would provide something - bacon baps etc at minimum. Absolutely shocking that people will turn up and not even be offered a bit of a buffet.

As an earlier poster pointed out, the pub might not be able to accommodate the numbers for food either. Really miserly of the wedding couple. If they can’t afford to host their guests they should shrink their guest list imo

no evening food? yep, i'd be heading home after the reception then.

very cheap!

If they can’t afford to host their guests they should shrink their guest list imo. I agree. All the guests are travelling a 2 hour round journey, at least, and in fairness there is an afternoon tea for day time guests at 2:30, but nothing after that, nothing for evening guests who’ll travel just as far unless they want to pay out for their own meal, no table wine, no toast drink and no transport. AND they’ve asked for cash. It feels very ‘come and give us money so you can spend a fortune and be inconvenienced and not fed or watered’. Whenever I’ve been a bridesmaid & involved with wedding planning, whether the guests enjoy themselves had always been a priority thought.

No food??? Ah here! DECLINE!

Thinking back , after the church service I have been at functions where the family of the newlyweds , ushers and close friends hang about. Hacking that everyone has a lift to the reception and asking people to fill their cars or do some ferrying trips.perhaps they are assuming ( wrongly it sounds) as if most will have driven themselves and so the few without their own transport can easily be accommodated.
As far as no food from 2.39 and no wine on the tables I really am amazed. If you have a party you provide for your guests. If you can't afford it , have a smaller party. We will hear next that the money donations are going towards a fancy honeymoon! Honestly , this is bad behaviour.

You’re going to get into trouble if your partner starts ordering pizza.

Brendobfh you know we need a post wedding thread about the drunk and hungry guests!

No plus one mummy. I was told if there were any cancellations I could have one when I wasn’t presented with the invitation. There mustn’t have been any

There won't be food at the evening do?
What type of a wedding is that?
I do wish people would stop organising weddings which they cannot afford.
Invite the number of guests you can afford, at a venue you can afford.

I agree id go home early.
Also what exactly is afternoon tea?
A lot of tea a couple of finger sandwiches and a scone and cake.
To be fair I do like afternoon tea but it doesn't seem very suitable for a wedding.
I imagine a lot of guests will eat more than their allocated share of sandwiches leaving others without anything to eat.

When I WAS presented with the invitation, sorry.

I’ve gone into flood feeding rather than drip now, but when I mentioned to the couple that evening people might be hungry, the bride said ‘frankly, I don’t give a fuck. I’ll be drunk by then’, and I said ‘well I’m pleased we’re all making the effort to get there’ and they did have the courtesy to look a bit sheepish which was when the order food from the pub next door was raised.

Yeah, I love afternoon tea but I can’t imagine we’d get our own separate one, it’ll be a shared between the table job presumably? I’ll be stocking them up on my plate, I’m a slow eater and don’t want to miss out.

I’m having a large breakfast.

Wow the bride and groom sound delightful. It will be remembered, for all the wrong reasons.

I once went to a wedding where the 'meal' was afternoon tea - ie a tiny sandwich, a scone and a small cake each. To be fair, it was a blast of a wedding because everyone got completely, in many cases disastrously, pissed. Don't remember much of it but what I do remember was great fun!

I still say the bride and groom are being tight and their response when you asked ‘I don’t give a fuck’ from the bride....blows me away.

All they care about are the cash gifts.

If either not go or make a point of buying them a cheap toaster! (Or a cheap bottle of plonk!).

when I mentioned to the couple that evening people might be hungry, the bride said ‘frankly, I don’t give a fuck. I’ll be drunk by then’

She'll be even more drunk if - along with everyone else - all she's had to eat is a bit of afternoon tea

With all the ugly behaviour you've mentioned, I'm afraid I wouldn't be going

THat doesn’t sound unusual to me

I’m sure there would be space in someone’s car

Perhaps contact the bride for a contact to set up a lift outside the wedding

The bride doesn’t sound very pleasant really. Is she a good friend?

I was invited to a wedding where the ceremony was 30 mins drive from the after party. I booked a hotel next to the party venue so easy to get home that evening. The wedding was at 10am. Me and my DP didn't drive, so we took train and taxi to hotel, stayed night and had to get taxi to ceremony and taxi back too. It did add quite a lot of extra expense. The only other couple we knew didn't have space in their car as were giving lift to some other couple. Annoying, but just one of those things really.

In fact the wedding being 10am meant more cost as needed 2 nights hotel instead of 1. I didn't want to get up at dawn to travel that morning as the wedding was until midnight.