To think this wedding arrangement is a bit odd?

[Brendobfh]

I’m going to a wedding in July which is an hour away from where I live. Three of us have arranged to share a taxi there & back. All fine and I’m very pleased to be invited.

I found out today though that the church is 10 miles away from the hotel the reception’s at. I’m obviously going to try & find a local taxi firm to do the journey but it’s very rural.

Every other wedding I’ve been to where the wedding & reception are a distance away from each other has put on either a bus, asked if any guests needed to car share or at least provided some taxi information.

I had (and I accept it’s on me to check) assumed the church & reception were in walking distance since nothing has been mentioned about it. I can imagine other guests travelling to the church with no way of getting to the reception.

AIBU to think it’s a bit odd to not mention this to guests?

Totally normal, I've never been to a wedding where they have arranged transport from the church to the venue.

Any wedding I’ve been too we’ve made our way to the church and then there’s been transport provided to the reception. The only time that hasn’t happened is if the ceremony and reception are in the same place, there’s either been a bus to get everyone up and then home, or people car share and there’s a bus to come back.

Definitely not a “social circle” thing unless it’s a working class thing.

The host is getting married. That is the important part of the day. If they want people to join them for the rest of the day but make no plans for those guests (who have come to see you get married, you know, the essential bit) then I do think it is bad manners if you don’t make sure everyone has transport to and from various venues. It cost us very little in money and stress to ensure everyone was sorted.

As I say I have been invited to weddings where none of this has been thought of and it has stopped me from going. One particular wedding it was just me alone and my husband not invited (another level of bad manners but hey!) and I simply couldn’t do taxi from the station to the church, then another to the venue and then another from venue to the station again as the venue was exclusively booked for the wedding party and the friends who were bothered to make the journey were part of the wedding party. No one else would bother.

Equally bad manners is when I have been ‘allocated’ random elderly relatives of the bride and groom I have never met and been expected to drive them from the church to the venue. Especially when I have given birth 2 weeks previously.

I think weddings should be as easy as possible for the guests. They aren’t the ones getting married

@LucyEvans26

I got married in rural wales- proper rural with no phone signal at all or anything. our wedding was all in one but at one point is wasn't going to be and we had a look into coaches and stuff- you HAVE to tell wedding guests whats going on because on the day there will be a load of wedding guests who turned up in a taxi and no way of getting to the next place- very unorganised and just asking for trouble- a note on the invite is no hassle! Wales is beaut tho have fun! Wonder if its the same place where I got married!!

THIS. I am also surprised at some of the replies saying things like 'so what, it's common in MY world!'

Fact is, when someone has travelled 2-3 hours or more to go to a wedding, and then they find out the reception is half hour's drive from the bloody wedding, it's annoying. Some people may even be getting trains there, and will have to fork out even more for the taxi to get from the Church to the reception.

I think people are so wrapped up in themselves. and their wedding, and what they want, that they don't think how much inconvenience they are causing their guests.

Someone my husband works with, had their wedding in deepest Cornwall in a rural area that was a proper ball-ache to get to from where we all live (South Yorkshire, North Staffordshire, and North Midlands.) It took 6-7 hours to get there, and cost £100 to £130 for a night for a hotel room. (As it was a Saturday in the summer holidays!)

And then the cheeky fuckers had the reception and 'night-do' in a place FIFTEEN MILES from the Church where they had the wedding.

The bride and groom picked Cornwall because it was 'pretty.' Like there weren't plenty of other places CLOSER that were pretty too! Didn't care about what a PITA it was for everyone to get there, or the cost to them. And it wasn't possible for some to refuse to go as they were related to them, and all hell would have broken loose. He invited my husband and me (and our kids.) We politely declined.

But yeah, YANBU @Brendodfh - this would annoy me too, and it's quite inconsiderate of the bride and groom.

@Namechange2018

Backforgood I'm 46 with a big extended family so been to lots of weddings too. It's bad manners and bridezilla-esque I think to just assume that guests will all have cars or access to a car and will be driving. Also there must be an expectation that guests will not drink (and therefore drive home) or be happy to leave cars at the reception venue and somehow get home / arrange to pick the car up the following day

It's not a cultural thing for a social circle or a particular part of the country, it's just good manners I think.

I agree with this. ^ I have been to around 6 weddings where the reception was more than 10 miles or more from the Church, and all but one had transport arranged for people. Very rude and presumptuous to assume everyone is happy to get to the Reception venue themselves - especially when it's 10 or more miles away, and they have already travelled 3 hours or so!

As the above poster said (ubercorn,) it is much better and more considerate to provide transport from your guests to take them from the Church to the reception venue. Some people will say they don't want to put out the money for that, but these same people will think nothing of spending £700 on a chocolate fountain and a photobooth for the wedding!

@EatALot

Wow ten WHOLE miles!!! What fucking pricks in 2018 to assume grown ups can arrange travel arrangements for this trek. I mean thats like several minutes in a car.

What a nasty rude post.

And nowhere I have ever driven is 'several minutes in a car' for a TEN MILE trip!

You obviously do not drive. LIKE, anywhere! LIKE ever!

I've never been to a wedding where a bus hasn't been provided if church/reception are far from each other. In fact, every wedding I've been to has had some form of transport. I'm in Scotland.

Just checked the distance and when I got married the first time it was 14 miles between church and reception. And the church was basically in the middle of nowhere . We did give information in the invitations and people shared lifts I think.

Have once had a bus to take us from reception venue to church and back again but have had to get myself there more often.

Second wedding the two were about a mile apart

providing transport is part of the organisation of a wedding. They don't have to use it but its usual (and polite) to offer it imo
I disagree. It’s nice to offer it, but definitely shouldn’t be expected imo.

As I say I have been invited to weddings where none of this has been thought of and it has stopped me from going

Really? It didn’t stop anyone coming to my wedding, and the church was 8 miles from the venue. To be fair, it didn’t even occur to me to provide transport.

Equally bad manners is when I have been ‘allocated’ random elderly relatives of the bride and groom I have never met and been expected to drive them from the church to the venue

I agree that’s rude if you haven’t been asked, but I’d have no problem giving lifts if I possibly could, as long as I was asked politely.

3 friends - one of you drive to church, then to venue. Leave car there, catch taxi back.

Next day, one friend picks you up, drives you back to venue, you pick up car, drive home.

You’re making this far too complicated.

Taxis / buses being arranged for guests is ridiculous.

The B&G have got enough to be planning a day of probably feeding 50+ guests twice, putting on entertainment & the actual getting married part, they are not responsible for travel arrangements of their adult guests.

Sorry OP, it is a ball ache to arrange, either as per my suggestion, or taxis, but YABU

@budgiegirl I would have no issues offering lifts if I hadn’t been 2 weeeks post giving birth. I had no choice. I also had to make at least 20 cupcakes with a new baby and an almost 2 year old 😏

I think the travel arrangement of your guests are very important on the day. I would be mortified if people were stuck or spent more than they needed to or had to ask fandoms for lifts. My wedding, my issue

@budgiegirl I would have no issues offering lifts if I hadn’t been 2 weeeks post giving birth. I had no choice. I also had to make at least 20 cupcakes with a new baby and an almost 2 year old 😏
I agree that’s rude if you were told rather than asked. Why didn’t you just say no? I think I would have!

I would have loved to say no but my husband was part of the groomsmen and we had a big car so space to take people. In the end my husband did the driving! We literally had no idea until about 3 days before!!

Fact is, when someone has travelled 2-3 hours or more to go to a wedding, and then they find out the reception is half hour's drive from the bloody wedding, it's annoying.

Well no-one with even half a brain is going to "find out" when they are at the Church, are they? . When you receive the invitation, you look up where you have been invited to, and if you think the logistics are going to be too much for you then you factor that in to whether you are going to accept the invitation or not.

It does happen a lot on MN, that people think it they haven't experienced it, then it can't possibly be a thing that happens. . Clearly, some people have provided transport and some people haven't. If it suits you to take a bus from the ceremony to the Reception, then that's nice, but I am amazed at the proportion of MNers who don't seem to drive.

Wow ten WHOLE miles!!! What fucking pricks in 2018 to assume grown ups can arrange travel arrangements for this trek. I mean thats like several minutes in a car. People won’t have their cars. They’ll be getting lifts or taxis to the church.

What will happen to the taxi you use to get to the church? Are you using the same one to get back from the reception? Why can't you use that to get in between the two? The taxi firm is local to me. They’ll take us and let us hire them to drive us back, but they won’t do a 2 hour round journey for a 2 hour fare.

I’m not worried about how I personally will get between the two, I’m Googling a local taxi firm. It’s more that I’m surprised they haven’t acknowledged the transport situation and I thought it was common for arrangements to be made by the hosts between the church & reception and I’ve got visions of other guests expecting the same and being stuck at the church with no means of transport and no taxis.

Quite happy to accept it’s not as common as I thought for a bus to be provided, but I still think it’s weird not to even mention it on the invitations.

For a 10 minute fare**

It's normal here. I can't think of any I have been to where they are in walking distance. We are not in a city/urban area.

I think it's a perfectly normal arrangement too. I have only once been to a wedding where a bus was laid on. That was in central London.

I have been to weddings where the bride made arrangements for lifts which was very helpful, especially for one that was on the Isle of Wight.

I did something similar when I got married. I knew which of our friends and relatives didn't have cars and made arrangements accordingly with those who did. The church was within walking distance of a station on the outskirts of London and the reception was close to a tube station so it was easy to get to the church and to get back from the reception. It just wasn't easy to get between the two by public transport.

I'd hate a bus in a rural area because then you'd have to get back to the church somehow to collect the car.

OP, do you genuinely think that none of the other guests will have bothered to look at the invites and realised they will need to get themeselves to the reception venue? I’m really struggling to get my head around that isea.....

Very odd if you ask me but I’m reality it’s not your problem - the bride and groom need to have dealt with that. Just sort yourself and your dh (and the person sharing your taxi) and don’t get involved.

So why are you even concerned? It's not your problem, unless you want to point out the B&G mistake?

Where I'm from people drive and give others lifts - no transport laid on and as adults we were capable of helping out or accepting lifts

My church and reception were within walking distance.

The B&G have got enough to be planning a day of probably feeding 50+ guests twice Once . The evening guests aren’t being fed. The reception is in the function room of a pub style hotel & I’m told by the groom that if they’re hungry they can go next door and order a pub meal.

No GreenTulips it’s not my problem, but I thought it was seriously out of the ordinary and assumed all guests would expect transport because all the weddings I’ve been to have had, usually, a bus so I assumed it was the norm & thought all other guests would think the same. Obviously it’s a lot more varied than that from this thread.

I’m with you all the way OP!

Well, I've never been to a wedding where transport is not put on for guests to travel to reception! Is it just a Scottish thing???

I’m not Scottish!