To not allow child to do activity that they want to do?

[SheepandPigs]

Child is 14, doesn't do anything much. I've asked if they want to join any clubs and it's always been a no, etc. very into computers and the library, not many friends at school as they don't particularly share the same interests.

Very into a particular video game, definitely is not obsessed and does get school work done, although can be on it for long periods, but doesn't struggle to come off it.

Other child has just started a couple of clubs - 1 instrument and 1 sport. Both worthwhile activities.

The child who doesn't do any activity has asked if they could do 1-1 coaching for the game. Apparently you can pay a high up person to help. Never heard anything so crazy in my life!! It's actually not that expensive but it doesn't seem like a healthy thing to encourage? Apparently according to them, it's "no different to having 1-1 piano lessons (like other DC)"

What do you think?

no
just...no

No defo no that sounds crazy sorry if my child suggested that I'd be like wtf

What are your concerns about it? I think if you're worried it will mean he spends much more time on the game and doesn't have any balance in his life you can say no but I don't know that's it's necessarily less worthy than for example music lessons. It's still a skill.

Can you vet the instructor? Are they legit or just a voice on the internet? I'd be bottoming this stuff out first.

But if that's what they like and it's within your budget why not?

Maybe he wants to do the club but is a bit embarrassed to be starting out so late? If 1.1 coaching helps him get his skills uo so he will join in I would say yes. For a set period of time then he has to go to the normal coaching. So long as it wasn't too expensive obviously.

Ditto wellBehived.

Gaming is big industry and has good career paths.

Oh you mean the computer game! Ignore me, I thought you meant him joining with the siblings sport.

No I would not pay for him to have coaching in a computer game

They actually come from a proper company, I was actually shocked when I saw it! Similar to when you're looking for a music teacher. They meet face to face at your house (so I can watch so I'm not too concerned over that).

I'm concerned that they feel the need to take it so seriously, why do they want coaching? I am worried it will lead to 'practise time' etc. and it's not exactly a healthy practise time like playing an instrument.

He has found something he enjoys and is good at. Why would you not support that? To him it's important, just like your younger dc's choice of activities.

Yes, it is no different to piano lessons, just not so socially acceptable. Encourage what they actually enjoy, not what you think they should enjoy.

Can he maybe learn something else computer-related that is an actual skill? Coding, lessons in graphic design or something?

I'd be wary of encouraging them to be less active. But if they do have a healthy balance then actually I would prob consider the gaming thing.

One of my DC is great at a game and I could see them ending up being involved in the gaming industry. I pay for music lessons for other child who has no inclination to a career in it... I suppose the question is what purpose do you want the extra curricular part of your DC life to have?...

I don't think it is less healthy than music practice, though. There's a more solid career path in gaming than music! And it develops other skills too - fine motor skills, strategic planning etc.

If the game itself is age inappropriate or something I can see why you would be concerned but I don't think it's fair to say gaming is automatically less healthy or valuable than, for example, chess or piano.

YANBU. The point of activities is to teach life skills like how to play piano or play a game c of tennis. Playing video games is not a life skill.

It honestly depends on the game. But I don’t see an issue if he likes it. Like any hobby or activity, it’s only dangerous once it starts taking over other aspects of your life

I think it depends. What transferable skills will he learn from this coaching? If he does it, can you agree on the condition that he does x amount of physical activity outdoors, or only spends x amount on time on the computer. I think you take it seriously and explore the opportunity like you would if he asked about any other hobby.

Why not? I'd support it if it was me - gaming can be big money in terms of a career. Depending on the game it also may have strategic thinking and leadership skills required amongst others. Both my boys play games (PS4 and XBox amongst others) and they've made several good friends on Fortnite. They also meet up socially (in real life) which they didn't do before - great :)

Coaching in a video game? Umm no. That's what YouTube videos are for.

It's the same as any other hobby.
You can get scholarships to some American unis if you are an elite gamer.

There is a 13 year old who now works as a Fortnite player, he had played since he was 8 and was picked up by a professional team.
My nephew did a degree in games design and now has a job with a really big website, outside the gaming industry but he is well paid and has excellent progression.

It is a career path now more than a hobby, and if your dc is talented you should consider giving them every advantage - it's not just indulging a pastime, he could access an exclusive and highly paid career if he pursues this and is successful.

Why ever not? Your child has a sensible approach to the game, from what you say he/she can stop when needed and is doing well at school, so why not get support for the hobby he/she has chosen? Gaming develops a number of abilities so why isn't is comparable to other extracurricular choices?

I think as long as you write out a schedule with limited time gaming and included time doing other things (exercise, outdoors, etc) then there's no problem with this.

How is playing tennis more a life skill than playing an online team game?

@Racecardriver how is playing the piano a life skill?

... and what is a 'proper company'. You can set a limited company, with a prestigious virtual registered office address and website up in a few hours

Realistically, saying a gamer is a career option is like saying being a pop star is a career option. Loa