To not allow child to do activity that they want to do?

[SheepandPigs]

Child is 14, doesn't do anything much. I've asked if they want to join any clubs and it's always been a no, etc. very into computers and the library, not many friends at school as they don't particularly share the same interests.

Very into a particular video game, definitely is not obsessed and does get school work done, although can be on it for long periods, but doesn't struggle to come off it.

Other child has just started a couple of clubs - 1 instrument and 1 sport. Both worthwhile activities.

The child who doesn't do any activity has asked if they could do 1-1 coaching for the game. Apparently you can pay a high up person to help. Never heard anything so crazy in my life!! It's actually not that expensive but it doesn't seem like a healthy thing to encourage? Apparently according to them, it's "no different to having 1-1 piano lessons (like other DC)"

What do you think?

I would be VERY careful with the twitch activity, as a user it is fairly friendly but I am quite active in the online gaming community and I have yet to meet a female streamer who has not been sexually harassed online. Twitch DO crack down on it fairly well, but the initial impact is still there I feel. (Ie. a person would make a hateful comment and would promptly be banned, but the comment would most likely still have been seen by the creator.)

Good luck to your daughter, I love to see avid female gamers about! Challenges the perception it's only boys that play!

If she's a Diamond tier player then she is in the top 10% of all players and there's roughly 27 million people playing this game daily, that's amazing she must be very intelligent, studies by the University of York found that people who performed better at League had higher IQs much like what was found in higher level chess players (www.york.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2017/research/multiplayer-video-games/) and she has raw talent in it that most people that play this game don't have.

If she could get coaching to reach Master tier (0.04% of players reach this and most pro players float between this tier and the one above Challenger) then she could easily get an audience wanting to watch her play on twitch or youtube (both mediums that have ways to earn money from views or donations) and learn from her or just for the entertainment of watching someone skilled play, not to mention many universities have esports teams now so you could be helping to set her up for an esports career or scholarship in the future.

Oh wow, great insight, thanks.

I’d probably say: yes if you also do another (more physical or sociable) activity. And I say this as an introvert who would really NOT have wanted to be made to do sports or whatever BUT as a mum you do want to try and give balance.

She has a specific goal, you know what you need to look for in a tutor (the right level), and you can monitor progress towards this goal so know if you are getting your money’s worth.

If it’s not taking over her life now then why not agree in the short term with a view to monitoring the effect and revisiting the decision in a few months?

Sorry I mean if she agrees to TRY another thing too (I didn’t mean you force her to do country dancing or something indefinitely!)

If it's your DD then there is even more reason to let her have the coaching. Computing and gaming are interests more girls should be actively encouraged to pursue.

There is no valid reason at all to consider this tuition less 'valuable' than sport, performing arts or a craft group. She enjoys it. It won't hurt her. It will probably add skills to her life that will benefit her in a variety of ways, and even if it doesn't, it's OK to spend money on a leisure activity.

And please, please, FFS don't make it conditional on her taking up some other hobby that you approve of and she dislikes. She needs to know she's allowed to choose for herself, rather than having to conform to your view of what a 'normal' child should enjoy.

Well I came on thinking hell to the no but as I've read the thread and especially @NekoShiro post. I think you'd be daft actually not to help her do this and try and make an income from it even.

Very few people make a living doing what they enjoy from such an early age. What a lovely idea she could. I wouldn't sabotage that if my child showed such talent

I knew a lad who was 3rd or 4th in the world in the rankings of a particular game. He then started his career working for the gaming company.

Regardless of potential career opportunities, it's something the child likes, has asked for, and is within op's financial capabilities.
I mean, why wouldn't you?

eSports is growing, some major American sports teams have paid millions to enter teams into Overwatch eSports League. The players have contracts and make a good amount of money. they have fans and supporters just like regular sports players. They make decent money streaming on twitch. If shes good, genuinely good. encourage it. Theres things that cannot be taught. Logic, forward planning, teamwork, communication, fine motor skills, reading and predicting situations, memory, etc etc. These are all skills required to play at a high level. If she has the natural talent, she can go on to make a very sucessful career. Overwatch has just signed its first pro female player, she is setting the path for future generations of females in a very male dominated world. Just as parents encourage football, singing, swimming, acting, dancing, anything that is fiercely competitive, there the chances of not being successful. It such a fast growing business atm though, kids wanting to compete should be supported. Even here in the UK, Tottenham are building a dedicated eSports arena connected to their new football grounds. Give it 10 years, and it will be streamed on TV.

My son was a gamer until he had to sell his PlayStation (long story),I did used to ask if he was good enough to join a team, he didn’t think he was and he’s moved on to other things. If your daughter isn’t doing much else and your other child gets lessons why not? Gaming is starting to be considered a sport, the Koreans are particularly good and England has teams who take part in championships. Just check out the company and if they’re legit go for it. Also encourage coding classes, she may end up in a job looking at screens, perfect if she’s not social, we can’t all be social butterflies.

I'd actively be encouraging it! eSports is one of the fastest growing industries in the world. There are proper tournaments on this and the prize money (and sponsorship) is insane!

I'll just leave this here:

League of Legends 2017 World Championship
Location: Wuhan (Group Stage); Guangzhou (Quarterfinals); Shanghai (Semifinals); Beijing (Final)
Date: 2017-09-23 to 2017-11-04
Game: League of Legends
Prize Pool: $4,946,969.00
Currency: USD - US Dollar

As someone who grew up playing lots of sports and piano and very few video games, I think the skills learned are similar to piano. Gaming takes practice, determination and learning but also has strategy. I think as far as mental stimulus it's fairly similar. Music helped my general knowledge but I was musically inclined so it mostly came pretty naturally.

I think you should try to find a compromise and see if you can get her into any sort of sport where she's active. Even if it's walking. The only thing of concern I can see is the possibility of a sedentary lifestyle.