To not allow child to do activity that they want to do?

[SheepandPigs]

Child is 14, doesn't do anything much. I've asked if they want to join any clubs and it's always been a no, etc. very into computers and the library, not many friends at school as they don't particularly share the same interests.

Very into a particular video game, definitely is not obsessed and does get school work done, although can be on it for long periods, but doesn't struggle to come off it.

Other child has just started a couple of clubs - 1 instrument and 1 sport. Both worthwhile activities.

The child who doesn't do any activity has asked if they could do 1-1 coaching for the game. Apparently you can pay a high up person to help. Never heard anything so crazy in my life!! It's actually not that expensive but it doesn't seem like a healthy thing to encourage? Apparently according to them, it's "no different to having 1-1 piano lessons (like other DC)"

What do you think?

Sounds like he could get something good out of it and it could lead to jobs in the future. Gaming is big business and is a skill

Why wouldnt you?

Its something the kid enjoys and can improve at with help

but something seems fishy/a waste of money about coaching for a video game. That's what forums/youtube is for I'd say!

Too right, have to say piano teaching is similar, there's so many good online options, pianu, flowkey, synthesia, as well as forums and youtube... yet still people fall for the scam of actually getting 1-1 teaching!

Oh no... that's right, actual 1-1 teaching can be extremely valuable far beyond what can be achieved with simple resources.

I have a few friends who are professional streamers, earning their living streaming games on sites such as Twitch. Or making gaming content for Youtube, guides, playthroughs, machinima, all sorts. In fact a friend recently got a mortgage and bought a house with his only job being a streamer. It is considered so much better to learn piano or violin once a week rather than play games but now I'm thinking about it I get so much out of gaming in comparison. I'm part of several great communities of gamers, for example I'm in a few discord servers (think a more modern Skype with far more options to sort conversations into topics and share pictures and talk in voice chat while gaming). Right now in a sims discord people are sharing pictures of their sims families, and the houses they've built them. In a minecraft server someone was asking technical details about the best hardware to run certain mods, in a destiny 2 streamer's discord people are forming fireteams to do raids.

I think people are stuck with this stereotype of a fat, greasy, spotty gamer, or a shouty angry sweary person fixated on the screen for days at a time. I'm not denying that some do get too over-invested and obsessed but that is far from the norm. I've seen some very hyped up people watching or taking part in sports!

In this day and age I think a solid working knowledge of computing and gaming technology may well be more useful than cello or flute skills.

It might be worth doing just so they learn how to handle a 1 to 1 tutoring situation. Self learning is fantastic but if you never do 1 to 1 tutoring, you can find it extremely difficult to do later in life once you're more set in your learning ways.

Something is only worthwhile as a hobby if everyone else does it as well?

No- but my comment re football was in response to a pp saying that football is as likely as a specific computer game to go out of fashion overnight, which IMO is a weak comparison for the reasons I cited. People are highly likely to be playing football in 10 years. No-one will be playing Fortnite in 10 years.

I wouldn't be against my DC getting coaching for gaming if it was their passion, but if it was very game specific (e.g. to get through this door do a triple wall kick and stomp, then throw an axe) rather than more general gaming strategy then potentially it is a massive waste of money as the knowledge isn't transferable when the game gets usurped, which it almost certainly will.

Funnily enough, it is my daughter. I didn't mention sex as I wanted to try and keep it as unidentifiable as possible, but sooooo many people assume it's my son.

The game was released 9 years ago (just had a google) it's very big. Is on TV, news, I've seen, etc.

Well, I see it's mixed views. The coaches are DBS checked, etc. it does seem no different to when I was finding a music teacher. I do still think it's ridiculous, but maybe I'll look into it more.

She is active, healthy, and smart. I do have no concerns. I'm just still a bit unsure.

I don't see why you should object, if it will make your child happy and you can afford it. let your children have fun in their own way. not letting them do this is hardly likely to encourage them to do what you want them to.

I think people are mixing this up here, saying there are future prospects in game design etc etc. Sure, but just playing a game doesnt get you there.

OP I would let your daughter do this on condition she does another activity too. And the other activity could be coding or something.

i would let mine do it - but maybe ask them to prepare a "business case" of why this is a worthy hobby to do . let them do a bit of research, potentially related skills to develop etc. it will help them and you to get a clearer idea

but maybe ask them to prepare a "business case" of why this is a worthy hobby to do
Would you do that it was tennis or piano-playing? It's a child with a hobby ffs, can't she just enjoy it?

Funnily enough, it is my daughter. I didn't mention sex as I wanted to try and keep it as unidentifiable as possible, but sooooo many people assume it's my son

#everyday sexism.

All those fights where people say gender stereotyping doesn't exist, people are just being professionally offended etc. I read a news story about the fire brigade asking a local newspaper to edit their use of “firemen” from a story and the response was the same, of course people know firemen can be women, haven’t they got better things to do with their time than worry about this etc..

Then you read a thread like this and realise how endemic it is. Probably some don’t even realise they have done it- they’ve read “gamer” and their brain has aitomatically taken them to male.

Are you talking about League of Legends? If so google how much the professional teams earn, even the top streamers on twitch are pulling in big money

Not to mention that last years League of Legends world tournament had 57.6 million unique viewers during the finals, so this isn't some small thing

@Nikephorus yes. if i have to pay for it, i want good reasoning for it (exeption are swimming lessons, but they are my idea). it helps everybody to be clear about things. i allow them pretty much every hobby as long as it doesn't break the bank or endangers anybody, but i want a proper thought through approach.

Hi OP - please let your child do the activity! It's really worth while to learn the right skills needed for specific game play.
And, who knows, there may actually be a job in it ... something to think about. I have been tempting for a while now for a company that develops video games. My job is to play through all levels, checking for language / sound/ pop up instructions and correct translations into target language. It's fun but also very intense (and quite well paid.)
I don't think that any hobby/ activity is ever a waste of time.

I know WAY more successful and financially stable computer coders, game designers and gaming professionals than I do successful and financially stable musicians and I know a lot of musicians!

Either you want to encourage your kids to further their skills in activities they enjoy, or you want them to pursue career-advancing extracurriculars. The chance of these crossing over is far more likely when it comes to gaming than they are in sport, music or dance.

The chance of these crossing over is far more likely when it comes to gaming than they are in sport, music or dance

Sport I would disagree with these days. If I had not listened to my parents I could have made my “hobby” into a far better career than the field I ended up in by focussing on academics.

Sport is big business these days. I recently saw an utterly fantastic “dream job” in my sport for 75k. I’m currently on 30k.

Careers these days are unpredictable. 40 years ago IT was pretty much done by women, as they had the typing skills, so it was seen as a “pin money” job for women.

Let her!

My husband has been into gaming since he was a kid and games were only just becoming a thing. Through that he taught himself how to build computers and fix systems.

It also develops reflexes, problem solving, etc. and since computers/the internet are literally everywhere now it actually has a lot more potential 'career oppertunities' than playing piano if that's what your worried about

If you try and force her to play an instrument or w/e when she doesn't want to she will get nothing out of it and resent you (speaking as someone who wasn't allowed to give up playing an instrument a a kid). Let her do something she enjoys.

I think you should seriously consider letting her. eSports is a growing market and there are now several ways to make a viable career out of it, and MANY skills to be gained from both gaming, and eSports.

It would help to know what game it is she wants to have coaching in? Games like League of Legends, Dota and Hearthstone are all games that players seem to have the most to gain from playing/getting coaching in. Whereas players of a game like Call of Duty, CS:GO or Halo are unlikely to gain anything from coaching even IF the game has an eSports market (CS:GO).

You are in the best position to recognise whether she is able to self-regulate and maintain her other commitments (homework etc) if she does take gaming a bit more seriously. It IS likely to have her spending a bit more time on the computer, unavoidably.

I was an exceptionally good chess player at age grade (sadly, I'm not particularly brilliant as an adult!), and had coaching to take part in tournaments. I liked it, I was good at it anyway, and coaching helped me get better.

Very few people who are good at stuff as children or young adults (music, drama, sports etc) will make that their careers as grown-ups, but most parents allow for a certain financial input in order to further their children's enjoyment of their hobbies. Why is this any different?

The one thing that could make this different is that the OP's child is a girl, and she could then be encouraged to go into STEM, which could be life-changing, from a professional PoV.

It is league of legends actually. Apparently she is a level diamond and wants help getting to a master level, means nothing to me. I have been looking into coaching. I just might let her try it... she doesn't love group sports, no matter how much I encourage. She will just refuse to get involved. She is fit though and I have no concerns over her activity levels, I don't think.

Thanks for all the input.

Mind you, she talks about twitch all the time and getting herself on there. Not been so keen to let her do that though. Probably won't for a while.

You might not deem it a "worthwhile" hobby like an instrument or a sport but it's what he enjoys.

Video games have only ever been my hobby. What game is it out of interest?

Sorry! Just realised what game it is and that it is in fact your daughter.