Transgender stuff - only on Mumsnet - am I weird?!

[obliviousperson]

The only time I ever read or heard about transgender stuff is on Mumsnet.

I live in London, I travel a lot. As far as I know I know no one who has changed gender. I have never had a transgender issue that has affected me. Not in changing rooms or swimming pools or anywhere.

It is a bigger deal on this website than in my real life. No one I know has had any issues.

Is it hype? I don't understand!!!!

A fairly balanced piece in the Guardian today:

www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/10/the-gender-recognition-act-is-controversial-can-a-path-to-common-ground-be-found

Gilead

Do you see any problem with for example a man identifying as a women then working in a women’s refuge, hanging out on pub toilets or measuring your daughters first bra?

1. you don't have a right to work in a refuge so this is a pointless question.

2. anyone hanging out in toilets is weird. If they go into a cubicle and poo / pee I don't care.

3. I couldn't care less as long as they're trained.

I have a trans friend (MtF) who is very much of the view that transwomen and transwomen and women are women. If discussing with generalisations we'll say 'women' for all of us but friend is clear their experience is different from biological women and that's absolutely fine. Not all trans people are like the TRA agenda.

Seeing someone on here mention gender neutral language, I can recall at university (10 or so years ago) being 'told off' for using gendered pronouns and using a generic 'man' form for a common expression/anecdote. Their academic writing guide was all hyped up PC (and i hate the phrase 'political correctness gone mad'). Funnily enough this was the same university where I was told believing in women's choices wasn't feminist and there was only one way to be feminist (aka woman chooses to stay at home hasn't madr that choice so she isn't feminist. Real feminists would be working full time and probably end up paying another woman min wage to look after their child )

There's different amounts of the gender debate in different places, but it's there

Yes, I know trans people in real life and they're going to be thrown under the bus along with women by trans activists.
As someone said upthread, THIS IS NOT ABOUT TOILETS.
It's about women getting abuse and harassment when they point out that self-id is a poorly thought out bit of legislation that has massive loopholes that are likely to be abused to the detriment of women AND trans people.

I've known a few trans people, some just vaguely. It's the strangest thing, they just get on with their lives not harming anyone and everyone else around them does too. Go figure

The issue is one of female safety

Not transphobia

Can you not see that?

Or do you think men are so lovely that they would use this loophole in a spurious manner?

www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/10/the-gender-recognition-act-is-controversial-can-a-path-to-common-ground-be-found

this is the route for girls who dare to not girl properly.

That is such a worry isn’t it.
There is such a pressure on girls to be all make up and duck face. Any girl who doesn’t want to do that is girling wrong and therefore must be a boy.

And as said up thread this is not about toilets, although the removal of women’s toilets to create gender neutral toilets is indicative of the whole situation.
This is about women only short lists having men on them.
It’s about a woman not being able to say that she doesn’t want a man performing her smear test because he has a dress on and a female name and therefore is a woman.
It’s about men insisting that the can go into woman’s refugees because they are women.
It’s about men competing as women in sports.

It’s not about fucking toilets - it is about the erasure and silencing of women.

And all the ‘I don’t care about toilets’ stuff is fine. Don’t care. Just don’t let other women be thrown under the bus because it doesn’t effect you.

I know two transgender people now I think about it. One transgender woman and one transgender man. Have known them since long before any of their hormone treatment, surgery, etc. and they were always quite unhappy day to day. Now they're both happy, successful, getting on with their lives. It's why I find the trans/self ID issue so tricky. Because my reality doesn't tally up with my fears

It's about our sex losing it's ability to name itself.

We have been a commodity throughout history, this makes it easier to do so.

So many of these young girls identifying out of girlhood are autistic, or they have an eating disorder, or they self harm. they are not receiving the help they need as it's affirmation only being offered.

seriously, what do girls like these have in common with middle aged male lesbians? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Even in the suffragette days you got plenty of women ‘not caring’ or it’s ‘not an issue for me’ or ‘I don’t care about toilets’

Ignorant I supppse

I’m interested in the debate and certainly lean towards gender critical and have brought up the discussion with a few people in the past months, but I don’t know any trans people either (I live in London), and nor does my husband so I was interested in the op’s Point in that regard. Reading these comments it almost seems (anecdotally), that the examples are more prevalent in smaller communities, or maybe it just stands out there more.

This poster is just a clever type of troll stop feeding him

I think those saying they don’t know any trans gender or gender fluid people have no experiences of teenagers or High schools. It’s not where you live it’s who you mix with. Trust me there will be loads in London schools.

I'm in my 50's and have known various yransgenered people my whole life - I find it bizarre that other people haven't.

A secondary school in my town has just installed gender free toilets.

Clearly sundance especially someone who works in the media. Bizarre

I think those saying they don’t know any trans gender or gender fluid people have no experiences of teenagers or High schools.

That’s true, my children aren’t even at primary school.

infinite

I think 'clever' troll might be a bit of a stretch

My ds1 knows a former female who is now identifies as male ( actually having a really awful time of things at the moment)

an old friend's husband is now a woman - caused them to divorce after years married with children and only the other month my oldest friend from school said that her daughter was going to a gender clinic as she wants to identify as male.
a facebook friend has a son who wishes to be gender fluid.
I struggle to understand but i do try. must be so hard though.

I have two friends who have children in their late teens who are in the process of transitioning. My ex FIL is in the process of transitioning. A couple in my Uni class (male and female) are both now identifying as opposite genders.

I live in a small town - around 13k population with an added 10k when the students are here.

DH works with a trans male to female - this person had the operation over a decade ago and is very happy to be referred to as transsexual. Not transgender.

In my own life the Guides thing affects my daughter - she is off on her first camp this summer at hte age of 11 with Guides from her unit and Guides from all over the rest of the UK. She wouldn't want to be showering and sharing accommodation with boys. But according to the Guides that's fine, as long as these boys say they identify as female.

That Guardian piece is very good. A lot of it relates to how I feel - particularly the fact that the authorities seem to have 'set a hare running and run away'.

Caught up with the thread.

I don’t think it is bizarre, it’s just life. But no wonder that it is mentioned all the time on this website as so many posters do know transgender people. Just different lives I guess.

A uni classmate of mine is currently transitioning from female to male. Another identifies as neither male nor female.