AIBU to think stepmum may be sabotaging holiday?

[VirginHoliday]

Apologies in advance for the lengthy post, I want to give a full picture.

DSM and DF organised a family holiday a few years back for DSis, DBil and their two DC. It turned out not to be very child suitable and the DC weren't on their best behaviour as a result (often bored and couldn't walk miles in the hot sun like DSM had organised). Huge waste of money and a lot of resentment from both sides after the holiday. DSM has never really liked children so DSis feels she booked that holiday knowing it would be shit for kids.

So now it's DH and my turn for the family holiday with DF and DSM. DF wanted to go to Barcelona as it's a landmark birthday for him and his choice. DSM hates Spain but agreed to go.
DH and I have never been out of the country, especially not with our 3 DC so agreed for them to sort it and we would pay providing of course that it would be family suitable (should go without saying!) We got a loan and transferred our money.

DSM asked when my DH's holiday time was (he works teacher hours so has set holidays) and we gave them a decent 4 week period to choose from within their dates.

They picked the week DH was back at work instead. And booked it before telling us. DH has had to use his only free days of the year. Fucking great.

Now I've found out exactly where we are booked. I really can't see it working at all. It's a lavish, upscale apartment smack bang in the city centre, nowhere near a beach, surrounded by a 4 lane road, nothing but very fancy restaurants and even a Louis Vuitton store. It is self catering and not a swimming pool in sight. We, unlike DF these days, are poor working class Northerners making do shopping in Lidl and Aldi and I can't see us enjoying this at all. It's a really upmarket area!

My kids are pretty great behaviour wise but I can't imagine their wont be bored to tears.

Please, please, someone, tell me Barcelona is actually a hidden gem for Primary aged children holidaying and despite what it looks like, we're going to have affordable fun.
If not DSM will get to bitch about how terrible my kids are along with DSis's. I just want to cancel the whole damn thing and book a proper family holiday but our money is gone now.

A wonderful place, fabulous architecture but the pickpocket capital of the world

'We only agreed to a holiday because DF has been asking us to go for years and we've never got round to agreeing. He's 60 this year and wants to spend time with us. And I him. He's my dad after all.'

Then he should have paid for it. He's 60, not 90. Can't believe you took out a loan and he took money from you to book a holiday without discussing it with you.

Las Ramblas is interesting for the children too as there were several live statues and other street entertainers. We had a cartoon sketch done of our 4 offspring while there too. I'm looking at it now and it brings back some lovely memories.

She picked where she wanted to go and wasn't thinking of you and DCs. But you will have a great time there.

The part I wouldn't accept is the dates. You specifically gave her a 4 week window to book holiday and she chose a different week. I will have definitely said, no we can't go then and as we said before booking, you have to change the date. End of. The fact DH is now facing not being able to take time off to see his DC in shows etc because of this is unacceptable to him and the DCs.

I’ve not read the full thread so not sure if it’s been mentioned but there is a great aquarium also down at maremagnum at the end of ramblas. Parc guell is great but I believe it’s no longer free to tourists. It’s a great city though the kids won’t be bored

Fair play to your father and SM, especially if your SM isn't overly keen on children!! I probably wouldn't choose to spend my 'big' birthday with a set of squabbling kids even if they were my grandchildren. He wants to take you though and has paid half, I think I am right in saying? Yes they probably should have discussed it more with you but that's as much your fault as theirs.

You are getting a lovely holiday in a luxurious location, and all you can do is complain? It will be a wonderful experience for you and for your children especially as you've never been out of the country before!

Think outside the box here! So plenty of research as to what's around. If you go sightseeing, make regular 'pitstops'. Lay down ground rules for spending time separately to your DF/DSM - it will to everyone's benefit. I'd love to go to Barcelona - I haven't been yet, but I've heard nothing but good reports. My 3 'weird' kids didn't actually enjoy the beach all that much - they tended to prefer city breaks!!

God are you not at all excited about your first family holiday abroad? I would be!!

AIBU to be upset about kids birthday invite...? On of my son's friends birthdays today let's call him T. My son told me that T had invited only their mutual friend F to his party. I feel dad for him and upset with both mums, I know them both, we gave hung out, been out, I chat to.them.more than most. I gave a present for T. I understand they for whatever reason couldn't/didn't invite but I feel aggrieved the mum couldn't have just said 'doing a small thing for T and can't have everyone. I got a vibe today they where a bit off with me. Urgh the world of school parents is a minefield.

Tibidabo. It's an amusement park on the top of a mountain overlooking the city. Take your children there - they're bound to like it.

Also Sitges. A coastal town with a beach and fun to explore. Can be easily reached by train from Barcelona (it's a 30 min trip or so).

Just do your thing. Its a great place to go. Easy to get to the beach every day. Kids will enjoy the metro ride. Maybe in the morning before it gets too hot? Then home for picnic lunch and naps. Then something in the city. Dinner is late in Spain remember. Plenty to do. Lots to like.

Next time go to Scarborough.

Op I can’t believe how some of the other posters are being. Of course you trusted your dad to have some input and do the right thing by you as you had specifically stated the dates you can go. You’re not stupid at all for believing they would go against that, and the previous experience with your sil is completely irrelevant, as it’s not the same scenario. You have every right to be annoyed, especially your dh for having to use his free days. I hope you can still look forward to your first family holiday abroad, and it looks like you and your children will have lots of fun things to do :)

www.timeout.com/barcelona/barcelona-for-kids

www.kidsinbarcelona.com/

spanishsabores.com/2017/08/28/barcelona-with-kids-top-things-to-do-in-barcelona-as-a-family/

Also, bear in mind that the Spanish tend to be rather kid-friendly in general.

She picked where she wanted to go and wasn't thinking of you and DCs. But you will have a great time there.

She didn't really, the OP said her DF really wanted to go to Barcelona, and DSM actually didn't particularly, but agreed for his sake - so I don't think it's fair to blame her for the destination - it was a done deal, and not up to her!
Choosing the difficult dates, and an expensive apartment were DSM, but I would have set a budget for what my family could afford, and only provided that much toward it. If you transferred her a large sum toward it, she would tend to assume that was the amount available for booking it, not that you wanted to spend much less.

We went to Barcelona a few years ago with DC 4 & 10 at the time. They loved it. Even managed to take the 4 year old to the Picasso Museum. There’s plenty to do with children. Chocolate Museum was another hit!
Please do visit El Corte Inglés in the city centre. It has a Lindt store selling the varieties I have never seen anywhere else.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Museu_de_la_Xocolata

Barcelona is super family friendly, and being in the centre of town is very good really as it will be very hot by the beach every day. Children are out into the night and the fruit markets and shops are great.

Maybe I’m just picking up on this because I’m a SM, but you really seem to be giving her a hard time! She will be picking up on your obvious dislike for sure. Why don’t you take a deep breath and give the woman a chance? She’s probably not the harridan from hell but a perfectly nice person. I tell you it’s the hardest thing in the world being a SM and most of us would do a LOT to have a little kindness back from our husbands kids.

For example, why give her such a hard time, couldn’t you book the holiday next time? Couldn’t you turn over a fresh leaf? Never too late...

Have a lovely holiday.

I have just brought my three kids back from Barcelona after spending last week with them there. It was absolutely fabulous. It is hugely well connected transport wise, super cheap to get around and especially so if you are right in the middle of the city. After going there last week I wouldn’t bother with a beach holiday again. My kids are 13, 10 and 4.
We went to La Rambla on Monday. They absolutely loved looking at the markets, the food and spending pocket money.
On Tuesday we went to the zoo in the centre of Ciutadella Park. Fabulous and excellent value for money.
Wednesday we took them Sagrada Familia and then park guell. That has loads of artists and musicians.
Thursday/Friday we spent the day at barcenoletta beach. Brilliant.
The rest of the time we just wandered round a rambla/the gothic quarter. You are never more than ten min walk from a newsagents which all sell ice cream.
Honestly even if DSM is being a twat you can go off and there is literally so much to do.
Just trying to put a positive slant on it to make you feel better xx

There's loads for kids in Barcelona.
The Olympic pool is great, but this is the Montjuic municipal pool just down the road - check out that view!
Also parcel crueta del Coll is a bit off the beaten track - it's a park in an old quarry with a beautiful pool set out like a natural pond, under the trees so plenty of shade.
If you head away from the main drag towards la Rambla del Raval ( not the well known Rambla, a different one) the beaches are less crowded and the cafes etc much, much cheaper. Plus there's lots of little shops and delis where you can buy a picnic.

Parc not parcel

A lot of dismissive and mean comments on this thread! OP - Barcelona is fab. The beach is amazing and not too far. The kids might like the unusual architecture. Try and have fun.

I don’t think it matters what there is to do there! Your SM knew the dates you could manage and deliberately booked outside those dates! She didn’t even have the decency to run it past you first! I would approach your DF, explain that SM has booked a week that is not suitable, despite you giving her a a list of all the dates you were free. She didn’t run anything past you, meaning that she has booked an area that is completely unsuitable for your DC.

Explain that you took a loan out because it meant a lot to you, to be able to spend this holiday with him. However, you are not prepared to have this cost you even more money, only for it to be a holiday that is completely unsuitable for your DC. Tell your DF that you are very disappointed that your SM has behaved this way and that you can only think that she doesn’t want you or your DC to go on this holiday. I would say that SM has behaved in an incredibly selfish manner, without even running the hotel or holiday details by you before booking! Tell him that you have no other option but to request your money be returned.

I would then use the money to book a holiday within the dates that is better suited to your DC. Then you can find all the educational and child orientated activities near where you will be staying!

I think the ‘Barcelona with kids’ comments are because it’s become the new Amsterdam since they decriminalised cannabis. I went to Lloret De Mar a few weeks ago with my 5 DC’s age 2-17 and we had a fab time it’s not too far from Barcelona. I’m sure you’ll have a fab time!

I’m glad you’re coming round to the idea of holidaying in Barcelona.

I don’t think the real issue here is what has been pointed out so far (loan, destination, DH holiday days etc). I think the main problem may actually be your relationship (or lack of) with your SM. It sounds like your DF is very important to you though and this will be a wonderful way to celebrate his birthday. It may have been unclear communication with you SM or she may have thought this would be more fun than all inclusive and booked it anyway in the hope you would enjoy it. Alternatively, she may be trying to ‘sabotage’ the holiday as you suggested. I do hope this is not the case, but if it is then what better way to seek revenge than show her what an amazing, fun filled time you’re having? Either way please don’t let her come between you and you DF. Explain to you DF you worried about hotel location etc and the things/ places you want to do, that way you should reduce any disagreements when you get there.

As you have never been abroad before and are not a big traveller, be warned, holidays can be stressful!! Try to keep calm when things get too much and don’t let SM see you getting flustered. Have a code word with DH if you are feeling overwhelmed!!

I’ve been to Barcelona with my kids. It was amazing. Some great suggestions so far. The open top buses are great and you can jump on and off at all the spots. This was our main expense and well worth it even just for day 1 to get your bearings. Don’t feel like you have to do hours of research, make the planning fun and part of the holiday build up. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, just soak up the atmosphere and you and the kids will love it. :)

Recommend getting a small travel book along the lines of top 10 places etc as they give useful advice. Money belts also useful and keeping passports and money in front of you (not back pocket) . 5 day travel card (Called Hola BCN) . There are lots of street traders selling everything everywhere you go. Recommend hiring a sunshade on the beach for the day as reserves your area, and you will need a towel or mat to sit on as sand is hot, also one of you must stay by your belongings while the others swim. Don’t buy drinks from the trays of the street traders as you can’t tell what is in them and how clean the water was used to make the ice. The beach has bars along it every so often and showers and toilets and the water is warm - kids will love it. There is also Lidl out there and lots of good cheap supermarkets. Food and wine cheaper than here - easy to self cater and make sandwiches etc to save on costs. Recommend buying entrance tickets to some places and the travel cards either before you go (to avoid disappointment) or from tourist information desk at airport when you arrive (collect free map there as well) . Great place for kids. Have a great time.

There are a lot of very superior, unkind and unhelpful commenters on here. The OP has asked for help not an insult!

What’s done is done. Barcelona is fab! You will have a great time with the kids. Get out early to go to the beach, then lunch, then a nap (screen Time) in the appartment then out again for drinks. The kids can run around as children stay up late in Spain.

Seriously it will be fab. Have a basic plan for each day and you can’t go wrong. parc gruel is amazing. And Spanish food and wine is delicious and cheap! All good.

Yoy’ll Probably have the best time of you ignore df and sm all together and make your own plans. They can fit In with you. Much better.