AIBU to think stepmum may be sabotaging holiday?

[VirginHoliday]

Apologies in advance for the lengthy post, I want to give a full picture.

DSM and DF organised a family holiday a few years back for DSis, DBil and their two DC. It turned out not to be very child suitable and the DC weren't on their best behaviour as a result (often bored and couldn't walk miles in the hot sun like DSM had organised). Huge waste of money and a lot of resentment from both sides after the holiday. DSM has never really liked children so DSis feels she booked that holiday knowing it would be shit for kids.

So now it's DH and my turn for the family holiday with DF and DSM. DF wanted to go to Barcelona as it's a landmark birthday for him and his choice. DSM hates Spain but agreed to go.
DH and I have never been out of the country, especially not with our 3 DC so agreed for them to sort it and we would pay providing of course that it would be family suitable (should go without saying!) We got a loan and transferred our money.

DSM asked when my DH's holiday time was (he works teacher hours so has set holidays) and we gave them a decent 4 week period to choose from within their dates.

They picked the week DH was back at work instead. And booked it before telling us. DH has had to use his only free days of the year. Fucking great.

Now I've found out exactly where we are booked. I really can't see it working at all. It's a lavish, upscale apartment smack bang in the city centre, nowhere near a beach, surrounded by a 4 lane road, nothing but very fancy restaurants and even a Louis Vuitton store. It is self catering and not a swimming pool in sight. We, unlike DF these days, are poor working class Northerners making do shopping in Lidl and Aldi and I can't see us enjoying this at all. It's a really upmarket area!

My kids are pretty great behaviour wise but I can't imagine their wont be bored to tears.

Please, please, someone, tell me Barcelona is actually a hidden gem for Primary aged children holidaying and despite what it looks like, we're going to have affordable fun.
If not DSM will get to bitch about how terrible my kids are along with DSis's. I just want to cancel the whole damn thing and book a proper family holiday but our money is gone now.

It'll be great. Decide that now and do research to find cool places for kids in Barcelona. There will be plenty for kids in a big city - it isn't like Barcelona is a child-free city.

Like the poster above, my parents never took us on "child friendly" holidays at a resort when we were growing up. They hated holidays like that, found them really boring. We had a great time - but I would have to say that my parents put in the research beforehand. We didn't just turn up and wander about.

I'll be googling anti-theft backpacks and bags now.

Check AliExpress for these, they're very cheap on there.

Barcelona was one of my dd's favourite holidays - a brilliant city. We stayed in an apartment near to where it sounds like you are. It was perfect, walkable or metro-able down to the beach. Do the old town/port too and the other districts like Garcia. Others have mentioned la sagrada, parc guell etc but do book tickets online in advance. Amazing food, markets - lush! We were there 11 days I think which was great so we weren't running around trying to fit everything into a couple of days.

"Like the poster above, my parents never took us on "child friendly" holidays at a resort when we were growing up. They hated holidays like that, found them really boring. We had a great time - but I would have to say that my parents put in the research beforehand. We didn't just turn up and wander about"

Same here. I can only remember one traditional bucket and spade holiday with my parents, and that was to to Italy near Rimini. We still did a lot of cultural sightseeing as well.

We have never takn DD to an AI/resort with kids clubs type holiday, but have done beach holidays that have included sightseeing. We prefer to avoid the typical Brits abroad holiday anyway.

What do you mean you've never been out of the country"especially with DCs" ?

Have you travelled abroad or not?

And why would you just trust your dad and sm after your sister's experience?

Sorry - haven’t read the entire thread but Barcelona is great for kids. We went when DS was 5. Transport v easy. We went to beach, open topped bus, funicular up to the old fun fair overlooking the city, the Gaudi houses (DS loved them - they give you an iPad and the features come to life). We didn’t get to do the cable cars, the aquarium or natural history museum as already too much to do. It’s best city break for kids in my opinion.

Does SM have kids? Booking SC in a safe neighbourhood seems child friendly to me. (Is it the cost rather than location that's an issue?)

Isn't your h mad at you for saying no to the dates? Didn't your sister's experience tell you to be super wary? I don't understand why you're shocked that SM has acted in the same way as she did last time?!

As for Barcelona, there is plenty to do but city holidays often mean lots of walking.

@VirginHoliday I'm sorry this has gone a bit tits up for you but I hope you will have learnt not to trust others to book your holiday even if they are contributing.

Just because you have a self catering place doesn't mean you need to be slaving over a hot stove all the time. You can still eat out. You can bring home take away food or live off lovely salads from the deli (yes, I know kids don't like salads so I'd let them live off sausage and chips!)

Also there are lots of attractions for kids and families but I am guessing you will be doing this without your dad and step mum.

www.apartime.com/blog/culture-tourism/theme-parks-and-water-parks-around-barcelona

It's a beautiful city with loads to do for kids. However it can be very expensive once you add in entrance fees and food etc. I would be setting aside at least 12,000- 15,000 euros to cover you for the week. It's surprising how it all adds up. Portaventura is brilliant but again an expensive day out especially once you add in food too. A lot of places don't allow you to take in your own either now unfortunately which adds to the cost, so I would check that before hand.

the previous holiday was discussed with DF. We made it clear what we were expecting and did not expect DSM (okay, less D more W) to go ahead and book. There was supposed to be discussion and plenty of it

And there wasnt, so this should have been the point you and your DH objected. Why didnt you say something?

snowsky are you seriously suggesting the Op needs £13k of spending money for a week!? I clearly did Barcelona very wrong

Trusting my dad. Who'd have thought anyone would be so stupid?

You obviously
Despite knowing what happened re the previous 'family' holiday, never having taken your dc abroad before AND taking out a loan to pay for it - you haven't taken any responsibility and left ALL the planning to your dad and his wife.
Your dad has a voice and mind of his own so why hasn't he done anything to make it child friendly?

I can't believe the crap you're getting OP for having to borrow money or letting your DF book the holiday. Lots of Judgement, many people put holidays on credit cards. The loan is only temporary, and it's his special occasion...god forbid you trusted they might pick somewhere more obviously family friendly.

As for Barca, it's gorgeous, lots to see and do, plenty of public transport. I won't repeat what other PPs have suggested, but the city is gorgeous.

What on earth is wrong with taking a loan out for a holiday? OP says they own everything else so she's clearly not a total dick with finances, and I assume can afford the repayments for the holiday. They've not been aboard before so it's not as if they're regularly financing the high life on a credit card. Obviously it would be better to save up in advance to avoid the interest, but it sounds as though they've had a difficult year and it was a fairly late decision.

OP you've had loads of great suggestions of things to do. I think the key thing now is to get some boundaries in place and make sure YOU get to decide what you do on YOUR holiday. Make sure you go off and do things that would make your dc and dh happy. If your DF etc don't want to join, that's fine. But don't let all that money go to waste!

Your DF and DSM sound like utter tools, by the way...

12-15000 Euros Jesus wept. Myself and DP did 4 days for less than 600 last year, that was including flights and accommodation.

I never quite understand how posters get into these sort of situations with their own families, but it's all done and dusted and booked now - all you can do is make the most of it. Sounds like a fab city to explore with your kids.

At least now you can make some plans and don't be bullied into going only to places/restaurants your dad and stepmum want to go to. Prebook some trips/activities now and stand firm about what you're going to be doing. Of course, your DF will want to do a few special family things/meals or whatever for his bday, so that's fine - but not every single day.

Going to Barcelona with kid this summer.
Place marking to read all the helpful tips later!

Op

I’d be furious if they did that to me with the holidays. No regard for your family at all!

I don’t know why you’d want to even spend time with people like that tbh

The plus side is you’ve heard lots of great things about Barcelona

I hope your father and step mother are easy to be with!

Wow a lot of replies to address. Please forgive me if I miss anything.

Firstly, we took out a loan (set amount asked by DF) and gave the money to DF to put to whatever he was paying. He is actually paying more than half, looking at what's booked. We can afford to pay back the loan just fine but didn't have savings at the time, that's all. We only agreed to a holiday because DF has been asking us to go for years and we've never got round to agreeing. He's 60 this year and wants to spend time with us. And I him. He's my dad after all.

DF and DSM go on a few holidays a year. Only once has anyone else (DSis) ever gone along so no hijacked holidays. In fact DSM is away in the US a month before Barcelona.

I said my DH works teacher's hours give an idea of his holiday dates. He's not a teacher nor does he work in a school but his work has its set holidays during most school breaks. The holiday is booked for when the kids are still off but DH is back. DH has 7 "free" days a year to choose to use when he likes. Now he has used most of them up. It was too late to say no when they told us the dates. Our money was spent, as was DF's. No insurance will pay out for a cancellation willingly booked (albeit not by us) at a time when we couldn't go. So we sucked it up.

I'm curious, many people are assuming we have no passports. Is it normal to organise holidays with no passports? I would have thought that was more risky than me trusting my dad to do what we needed. (Ie. consultations first). I bought Insurance too. I even got our EHICs.

Thank you everyone for the helpful advice re. What Barcelona has to offer and what we can do there. And more importantly, about the pickpockets. I'm paranoid about that at home in the UK (our local town is terrible with pickpockets right now, so much so that I have an iron grip on my bag at all times. Not a nice way to be)

€15000 for a week in Barcelona 😂

We had 2 weeks in the Amalfi coast including 3 NZ - Italy plane tickets for less than that.

Self catering apartments in fab sunny European cities are the best kind of holidays with kids IMO! Would rather poke my eyes out with a stick than do an all-inclusive resort. So claustrophobic

So you knew what she would do, you know she doesn't even like children, and you just sent them your cash to book whatever they wanted, for your first ever family holiday abroad?

Sorry, no sympathy for you. This outcome was completely predicatable and its going to be shit.

However it can be very expensive once you add in entrance fees and food etc. I would be setting aside at least 12,000- 15,000 euros to cover you for the week. It's surprising how it all adds up

Thats fucking hilarious!!

You dont need to explain about taking a loan out for a holiday, I save with a credit union and have taken out lots loans for holidays.

www.timeout.com/barcelona/barcelona-for-kids
www.theguardian.com/travel/2017/jan/29/barcelona-city-breaks-with-kids-family-holidays-spain
santorinidave.com/barcelona-with-kids

There is loads to do.

But whay are you going with your step mum if you don't like her, and you gave her dates which she ignored? You should have been able to sdit down and discuss the holiday together and decide what you did and didn't like, instead of her just booking it. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Also avoid bars/restaurants around Port Olympico - my friend was charged 80 Euros for a bottle of wine!

Well, the menu must have said how much it was, charley...

snowysky come back, I neeeed to know what you did in Barcelona for a week that cost £13,000. Even £1,300 is more than we spent in a week, and that was with some serious gin drinking.