AIBU to think stepmum may be sabotaging holiday?

[VirginHoliday]

Apologies in advance for the lengthy post, I want to give a full picture.

DSM and DF organised a family holiday a few years back for DSis, DBil and their two DC. It turned out not to be very child suitable and the DC weren't on their best behaviour as a result (often bored and couldn't walk miles in the hot sun like DSM had organised). Huge waste of money and a lot of resentment from both sides after the holiday. DSM has never really liked children so DSis feels she booked that holiday knowing it would be shit for kids.

So now it's DH and my turn for the family holiday with DF and DSM. DF wanted to go to Barcelona as it's a landmark birthday for him and his choice. DSM hates Spain but agreed to go.
DH and I have never been out of the country, especially not with our 3 DC so agreed for them to sort it and we would pay providing of course that it would be family suitable (should go without saying!) We got a loan and transferred our money.

DSM asked when my DH's holiday time was (he works teacher hours so has set holidays) and we gave them a decent 4 week period to choose from within their dates.

They picked the week DH was back at work instead. And booked it before telling us. DH has had to use his only free days of the year. Fucking great.

Now I've found out exactly where we are booked. I really can't see it working at all. It's a lavish, upscale apartment smack bang in the city centre, nowhere near a beach, surrounded by a 4 lane road, nothing but very fancy restaurants and even a Louis Vuitton store. It is self catering and not a swimming pool in sight. We, unlike DF these days, are poor working class Northerners making do shopping in Lidl and Aldi and I can't see us enjoying this at all. It's a really upmarket area!

My kids are pretty great behaviour wise but I can't imagine their wont be bored to tears.

Please, please, someone, tell me Barcelona is actually a hidden gem for Primary aged children holidaying and despite what it looks like, we're going to have affordable fun.
If not DSM will get to bitch about how terrible my kids are along with DSis's. I just want to cancel the whole damn thing and book a proper family holiday but our money is gone now.

Avoid La Rambla. That's where most pickpockets are.

I would be setting aside at least 12,000- 15,000 euros to cover you for the week

Have you put an extra zero in those figures?!

Just to add, DSM does have children. Three of them! Grandkids too. She just doesn't act like she likes kids all that much. Or perhaps it's just ours. I don't know, I have never seen her with her own DGC.

We only see DF and DSM a few times a year as we live at opposite ends of the country, hence the not meeting up for discussions. It was all done over the phone. Transferring the money to DF was done for ease, not as a 'go ahead and book' which is unfortunately what happened.

I'm not a pushover, I just was caught by surprise. I haven't cancelled because throwing away that much money may be easy for some but not us. DH was just as involved as me. He was shocked too.

It was too late to say no when they told us the dates - it really wasn't if they specifically booked other dates than what you agreed

We've been to Barcelona a few times and have never been pickpocketed (equally never experienced it any big city) am not saying it doesn't happen but don't let the thought of it overwhelm the holiday... sensible precautions...

I would be setting aside at least 12,000- 15,000 euros to cover you for the week

Bonkers.

myrtleWilson I added one too many '0''s, I meant hundred, definitely not thousand (if I could afford that much I would be holidaying somewhere off my bucket list!!!)

There is loads to do in Barcelona for children. Check out all the Gaudi stuff for starters.

We had an apartment at the beach and it was a nice walk into town and a cheap, frequent bus back at the end of a long day.

Change your mindset, plan your time away and set out to enjoy it. Explain to your well off Dad that the money you gave your SM was supposed to cover an all inclusive stay & thus you don’t have money for meals out at flash places. Then he can choose to take you and pay, or not.

There are loads of cheap places to eat out as well as markets for buying lovely fresh food to make your own.

Have fun.

When you get back, work on being more pro active than re active.

If you're close to the Parralell I can recommend a few lovely and dirt cheap tapas places! Also everywhere sells pinchos. Pinchos galore which are a very cheap lunch.

Barcelona is wonderful. Please don't go into this expecting to have a shit time, because that sort of attitude can be self-fulfilling. A holiday in Barcelona with children will be SO much more fun than an all inclusive resort - YOU will actually have fun in Barcelona, and there is heaps for the children to do, as said upthread. There are lots of playgrounds in the city centre, and they all have cafes adjacent under trees with outdoor seating so you can even all go for drinks in the afternoon or early evening while the children play on the swings right beside you.

Also, as probably mentioned here already, the way food is handled in Barcelona is perfect for picky little eaters!

Super jealous - you'll have a brilliant time.

DH was just as involved as me. He was shocked too

So not even slightly involved then? If she booked dates you had said you couldn't do, you should have told her to return your money.

snowsky am almost saddened by your typo- I was beginning to hope for an jetset take on a Barca city break, dinner with Lionel Messi as an option

Barcelona is amazing - beautiful city, close to the beach, incredible public parks, cable cars, food markets etc. Aside from stupidly picking shitty dates (which was VU of them) your family have actually done ok on this. Plus self-catered means you can eat very cheaply and save your cash for fun activities.

LagunaBubbles yes!!! Lol

As a side note was looking for a holiday next year, trawling through one of the tour operator websites (0% deposit pay monthly thing), came to a lovely looking hotel, all inclusive, then looked at the price £25,500 per person per week for next August. (Yes my 0's are correct this time!) I'm shaking my head if they go past 2k for four of us!

But prices are going real high now. We naughtily took ds1 out of school for our week away (first holiday in a few years)- same holiday during school holidays was £3,100 more.

So I can understand OP going with the help of her ddad, as sometimes it's the only way some can afford it.

But going back to Barcelona, there is loads to do, you just need to really research it. As I said if you want to do all the parks (water parks etc), that is really going to up your budget. I think we paid 240€ ish just to get into Portaventura and then it was about 80€ on food and drink, plus transport to get there.so up to 400€ just for one day.

But if you are willing to use the public transport system, there is so many places you can go that won't break the bank. As I said just check about taking your own food in some places and also looking at opening times and when things are likely to be busy. You don't want to be stood around for an hour or so waiting to get in or on something. IME kids get bored real easy in the heat.

myrtleWilson if only! lol I should pretended shouldn't i lol unfortunately the fact that I wouldn't be able to identify a single restaurant that would cost more than 50€ to eat in, probably would have given me away

He's paid half for us and he won't be happy if we complain before it's even happened. - sorry but you have let these people manipulate you - of course you should complain BEFORE its happened!!

theeyeofthestormchaser apparently (long story, a lot of us didn’t make it to the club due to separate taxis and confusion over the name, we were also all scared of pickpockets so no one had a phone with them) she just walked up to the bar, asked for a bottle of rose and 2 glasses. Barmaid said a price (friend heard it as 18 Euro), hands over a 20 note then barmaid says “it’s eighty”. Kind of glad I didn’t go in!

Not helpful as I know nothing about Barcelona but ds is desperate to go so he can do a tour of the Noucamp lol

Can recommend the Maritime Museum (Museo del Mar), free on Sunday afternoons and children under 17 get in free at other times anyway.

The Aquarium is good but pricier, book online before you go.

One of my favourite trips is down the coast to Sitges, takes about 45 minutes and it's a lovely day out.

Will your DH lose money for going away on his free days? It sounds like your father and stepmother could have afforded to pay for all of you. Why didn’t you say you didn’t want to borrow money so you couldn’t go? Is your DF aware how stretched your finances are and that this holiday is pushing you into debt? I think you and DH sound very passive in all this.

What happens if you need money for an emergency in the meantime? Will you just borrow a bit more?

Not booking when you said you can go is rather bizarre behaviour at best. Am guessing it was too with price? Just wanted to wade in though and reassure you re Barcelona - with a bit of research it's honest a fab city with kids. Very vibrant. Lovely beaches not far off but the adults get some grown up stuff too. Totally get that it's not what you envisaged but it can and should be great.

God I’d be livid.

We’re going on holiday with my dad later on in the year, he was angling for non-school holiday time but I just flat out said no. However, he booked and paid (his treat) and he’s shared where we’re staying. It’s not my cup of tea, he likes remote villas and driving everywhere; I like everything on my doorstep. It’s workable though.

Having said that, Barcelona is a city and children live there so I’m sure there’ll be loads of stuff you can do

There are great things for children to do in Barcelona. It will also be an amazing cultural experience.

It is totally baffling why you would allow someone else to book a holiday for you when you had a take a loan out to afford it. You should have made sure you were in control of it, particularly as you say your step mother has form for booking things that are unsuitable.

Th moment the holiday was booked outside of the dates you gave you should have refused to go. That's why you don't pay money before having all the details agreed.

As it goes, you're stuck now. So make the most of it. Use the internet to read up about all the great things that can be done. If you have different expectations for your kid's holiday then you also have to now be on the front foot and clearly communicate what your family wants from this trip. Plan a few activities, how to get there etc and make sure they happen.

I don't know if I have been unclear but I didn't just hand over the cash and give them permission to go ahead and book. The cash was (admittedly a bad idea now) transferred to dad ahead of time so he would have our agreed contribution ready for when we had discussed what was going to be booked. I had done quite a bit of shopping around online looking for deals etc and was ready to give my input when it was announced that it was done and dusted. Just like that. The reason one person was doing all the booking was because it is one holiday together. Everyone booking their own, especially when someone else was paying towards it would have been odd no? The seasoned travellers were the obvious choice as organisers.

To a PP who asked what the reply was when I asked why they had bothered to ask what our available dates were? DSM just muttered about it being done now and that DH should get the days off booked in at work as soon as possible. I was too taken aback to really form a proper response.

@Bluesmartiesarebest thankfully DH won't lose any money taking the days off but he's very involved with the kids and like to be at as many assemblies, parents evenings or county events etc (middle child gets herself entered for every thing she can ) and DH likes to use up his days off to attend as much as possible, often using half days to go to more. So that's a little sad.

Again, thanks everyone for your replies. Helpful or umm... not . I'm feeling a lot more positive about the holiday. It looks like we should be able to find plenty to do with some serious planning ahead. I'd better get to work organising what we will want to do and how to do it. I highly doubt we'll be sticking with DF every day if DSM has a completely different style of holiday planned.

Thanks guys.

d was ready to give my input when it was announced that it was done and dusted. Just like that

And then you did/said.....nothing? No "wtf did you book that for, you know we can'r go then. Are you going to change it or give me my cash back?"