AIBU to think stepmum may be sabotaging holiday?

[VirginHoliday]

Apologies in advance for the lengthy post, I want to give a full picture.

DSM and DF organised a family holiday a few years back for DSis, DBil and their two DC. It turned out not to be very child suitable and the DC weren't on their best behaviour as a result (often bored and couldn't walk miles in the hot sun like DSM had organised). Huge waste of money and a lot of resentment from both sides after the holiday. DSM has never really liked children so DSis feels she booked that holiday knowing it would be shit for kids.

So now it's DH and my turn for the family holiday with DF and DSM. DF wanted to go to Barcelona as it's a landmark birthday for him and his choice. DSM hates Spain but agreed to go.
DH and I have never been out of the country, especially not with our 3 DC so agreed for them to sort it and we would pay providing of course that it would be family suitable (should go without saying!) We got a loan and transferred our money.

DSM asked when my DH's holiday time was (he works teacher hours so has set holidays) and we gave them a decent 4 week period to choose from within their dates.

They picked the week DH was back at work instead. And booked it before telling us. DH has had to use his only free days of the year. Fucking great.

Now I've found out exactly where we are booked. I really can't see it working at all. It's a lavish, upscale apartment smack bang in the city centre, nowhere near a beach, surrounded by a 4 lane road, nothing but very fancy restaurants and even a Louis Vuitton store. It is self catering and not a swimming pool in sight. We, unlike DF these days, are poor working class Northerners making do shopping in Lidl and Aldi and I can't see us enjoying this at all. It's a really upmarket area!

My kids are pretty great behaviour wise but I can't imagine their wont be bored to tears.

Please, please, someone, tell me Barcelona is actually a hidden gem for Primary aged children holidaying and despite what it looks like, we're going to have affordable fun.
If not DSM will get to bitch about how terrible my kids are along with DSis's. I just want to cancel the whole damn thing and book a proper family holiday but our money is gone now.

We attempted Barcelona with young kids.

A disaster.

She booked it for days you couldn’t make? At that point your DH should have grown a pair and told his family it was a shame they wasted their money but obviously he couldn’t go in term time.

Just to reassure you - we have done Barcelona a few times with dc (3 times). Each time we have had SC apartments. Kids were 2-6 years.
It s a fabulous city, one of my favourites.

You can get to the beach easily enough, most of Barcelona can be done on foot.
Taxi s around the city are dirt cheap.
Restaurants are great.
Also we found there were a few really lovely parks with lots of brilliant family amenities where we stayed (close to the city centre )

A few things worth doing with kids

Bus tour of city
Tour of the football stadium
Las rambles (v busy but fun)
The beach
Olympic stadium
All the gaudi!
Park guell
Gaudi s house (can't think of name of it at the moment.

If I were you I would plan some activities that will be family friendly and just meet your f and SM for tapas later (them on way out you on the way home !)

Oh my kids also loved the fountain (set with lights and to music - in the evenings, again I can't remember the name but google should throw it up for you.

Enjoy a little bit of luxury - you can't change it now it s booked, so enjoy it

"OP why are you going on holiday that you can't afford , to a place you don't really want to go, with people you don't like ?"

This ^^
The only person's fault it is that you aren't going on a holiday that suits you and your family is you.

The deed is done now, so to repeat what other posters have suggested:

1. Get holiday insurance NOW
2. Get your passports asap (total cost for 3x children's passports and 2x adult passports £298)

Portaventura world is only about 1.5 hours away. There is a huge theme park and water park on site. You could easily get 3 days peace if you needed to get away from the rest of the family and entertain the kids

Why on earth would you holiday with this woman?
Also, no way would I let someone else choose accommodation etc without my okaying it.

However. I think Barcelona could be great for kids.

Barcelona is great fun. But you can also go further afield to some lovely beaches and make a day of it. Use the train, they are very good value.
www.timeout.com/barcelona/outdoor/top-10-beaches-in-catalonia

Why do you and your dsis still go away from with your df and his dw? I find it odd in all honesty. Especially as you never been away as a family surely you would go away with your dc and your dh? It sounds like your Sm is sick of having her holidays hijjacked by her sd and their families and purposely trying to book where they want to go.

You must be mad to have gone along with it I'd have just said 'no dates don't work'

I've stayed in the type of apartments you described many times. To be honest after a couple of days I've had enough, fine for a quick city break but wouldn't take dd.

Thank goodness you don't have buggies anymore as the tiny ornate lifts aren't really conducive with those.

Can't you find your own accom??

You should have got more involved in the planning of this. Why didn't you pay after the accommodation was decided on? It sounds like you left it all to them. Did you research any family friendly resorts/hotels? Why did you agree to go outside of the dates your DH was on holiday?

In your shoes I would now cancel. The booking may be refundable (most are) so you'll only lose the deposit. Find somewhere more suited to you (eg resort with beach and kids club) and let your DF book theirs.

Just tell them sorry but you're not prepared to get into debt for a holiday you don't want.
No way would I do Barcelona with small kids. It's hot, it's busy and if you haven't ever been abroad before the metro is really confusing.

Oooh lovely city - my only advice would be to be aware that to get the best bang for your buck you need to go full Spanish with your internal timetable - people siesta and then go out super-late in the evening, but kids included. Have a super time 😀

You had advance warning this could happen due to dbil’s experience, the dates weren’t what you specified and you didn’t check the details before paying. Can’t really muster much sympathy in those circumstances. You should have said it wasn’t suitable and refused to hand over any money. If you haven’t got passports or given them your passport information I’d be very sceptical that they have actually booked and paid already, as I’m pretty sure you need a valid passport number to book a flight, possibly even a hotel booking.

Barcelona was one of the best holidays I took my kids on. Me and DS, DD and youngest DS age 1 in an apartment in the Gracia district. Travel links, things to do and the beach couldn't be faulted.

@VirginHoliday Hi OP, OK so it's all done and booked so I think the focus should be on how to have a good holiday.

As PP have said, there is lots to do there and if you do plenty of research in advance, you can find good, family friendly places to go and enjoy yourselves and local markets from which to buy food / drinks for self catering.

I think you main issue will be that the activities that you want to do, will not be the same as your DF and DSM. I suggest that you lay the groundwork very clearly now for these differences and make sure you are adamant when and what you will be doing. I.e. most times you will eat in the apartment, you will be going to the beach, going to A, to B etc. You may want to compromise and have a nice meal out with them etc but you need to ensure right now that you have the holiday you want.

Someone mentioned Parc Guell being free up thread. They've started charging for bits of it a few years ago so worth checking before you go as you might need to book in advance (it is worth a visit). Beach is very accessible from city centre. There are worse cities they could have booked for kids

If you had been "clear what you were expecting" then you wouldn't have even considered Barcelona in the first place. It's like someone booking a city break in London then complaining that they're not staying in a hotel with kids' clubs, pools and entertainment. You want that sort of holiday fine - but it's not available in a city.

It doesn't sound like the stepmother is sabotaging at all - she's just booking a holiday she and the father will enjoy. In an apartment, which is pretty much all there is in Barcelona apart from hotels, and OP would probably have moaned about that too.

Barcelona is a huge city with so much to see and do. We've been with kids and they loved it. Everything from the aquarium at the bottom of the Rambla del Mar to the food, the parks and the football stadium. Just use your imagination.

I’m pretty sure you need a valid passport number to book a flight, possibly even a hotel booking.

You're wrong. You can book flights without passport numbers and complete them at check-in on line. Hotels don't require passport numbers.

Barcelona’s great but you do need to prepare yourself to say we are doing x, not the y you are doing, and NOT agree to plans that will involve keeping hot bored tired children behaving, but are rather designed for them. Beach is great and easy to get to, park guell ditto. Preempt the planning by saying don’t book anything for us, it’s a busy city and we need to work out what’s kid friendly for us to get up to. Then if they book you need to say actually we won’t be going to that (unless you want to). Make sure your don’t book is clear to both Df and sm.

And learn from this for all future interactions!

I recommend the football stadium if your kids like football. If your DF and DSM want some alone time you are not too far from Port Aventura theme park . You can get the train to Salou or an organised coach trip .

We had a beach holiday in Spain many years ago, kids were 6 and 4. Their favourite day was the one we spent in Barcelona, so much to see and do, we could have spent a week there.

Perhaps it will be less crowded and hot as you're going in term time.

Barcelona is a great city for older dc to enjoy but why on earth would you agree to go when your dsm booked in the time you said you weren't free?? Why be such a pushover?

I imagine Barcelona with kids would be great. The zoo is lovely and in the city centre. There is always lots going on down by the water. Just remember they eat very late in Spain and factor that into your days. Afternoon siesta is the way to go.

The Zoo is lovely, so is the beach & it's worth doing the bus tour ticket (there are 3 loops which cross over each other visiting all different places) & you can get a ticket for a few days. We really enjoyed it. The botanical gardens are good for a stroll & on the bus route. Entertainment on Las Rambla is good, Ive done it with my daughter & also with a bus load of secondary kids who also loved the football stadium. There is also a theme park - Tibidabo. I haven't been but friends have & enjoyed it. Good luck! There is lots to do & see x

Why haven't you kicked off more about the dates? Your DSM sounds like an complete dickhead