to decline to do this

[rodstewartsmerkin]

Backstory: about 2 and a half years ago my DH and I had a disagreement with his sister and her husband. It had been building for a while and it was a bit unpleasant. I won’t say what it was about as it’s quite outing but it wasn’t anything really that major. Just a case of simmering when it should have been nipped in the bud. We all learned some lessons I think. I am not an avid user of social media but do have Facebook and Instagram and I noticed weeks afterwards that they had both blocked me on both sites. I found it odd and perhaps a bit childish but their choice.

Anyway, we’re not as close as we once were but our children are which is great.

My AIBU is that I went on maternity leave with my
second DD at the start of April and she was born in the middle of April...and they’ve asked me to look after their daughter two days a week to help them with childcare. There’s been no mention of paying me for this being a regular thing. I could be being a bit childish myself but I’m still blocked on their social media but I’m useful to look after their dd.

During my pregnancy they never once asked how I was, when my due date was or anything about it. I don’t expect to be the centre of attention but found it strange that they never asked me or DH anything about pregnancy.

Aibu and a bit childish to tell them to find their own childcare as I have a three year old and newborn?

Well done for saying no.

With a new born?? Cheeky fuckers!

The cheek of some people.
But they will come back now and ask for 1 day instead of 2.
Be more firm in your next reply.

If this is their way of mending bridges, I am not surprised you fell out with them.

Well done on sending the message. Keep us updated OP.

“'Hi, Sorry I can't, as if I earn money it ends my maternity leave and I am not registered as a childminder'.”

This ⬆️

I would have gone with "i am expecting to spend my summer scaring the postman by answering the door with my tits out while the 3yr old climbs the walls on a non stop peppa pig marathon which will leave me craving bacon butties like a biatch. Not convinced that adding an extra child to the mix is the smartest of options as i couldn't promise to not lose DN, let alone feed her!"

I like that you said no though. Was an insane idea

If you don’t want to help out with the childcare because you don’t want the extra responsibility or you are already too busy with you own children then say no and tell them that - if it is because of what has already gone on between you perhaps you could build some bridges with them? I wouldn’t commit to it personally other than a very occasional one off though just cos looking after children other than your own is a big responsibility

CF! Your on maternity leave not on holiday

You should have said that you'd be happy to look after their child in a reciprocal agreement and so what days would they like to look after your 2?! That way you'd have been looking willing knowing full well you'd never hear from them again!

What Ms Hathaway said on page one.

I would say ooh tried to message you on fb and it wouldn’t let me, why?

To me, the fall out and everything else is utterly irrelevant. You have been asked to look after an extra child when you already have 2, one of whom is a newborn! Even if you had the best relationship in the world with them, they’re still asking a bit much! So it’s not you being childish. I would say no regardless.

This. What Storm said way up top.

Your maternity leave is to look after your new baby not to provide free childcare. The cheek of some people.