to decline to do this

[rodstewartsmerkin]

Backstory: about 2 and a half years ago my DH and I had a disagreement with his sister and her husband. It had been building for a while and it was a bit unpleasant. I won’t say what it was about as it’s quite outing but it wasn’t anything really that major. Just a case of simmering when it should have been nipped in the bud. We all learned some lessons I think. I am not an avid user of social media but do have Facebook and Instagram and I noticed weeks afterwards that they had both blocked me on both sites. I found it odd and perhaps a bit childish but their choice.

Anyway, we’re not as close as we once were but our children are which is great.

My AIBU is that I went on maternity leave with my
second DD at the start of April and she was born in the middle of April...and they’ve asked me to look after their daughter two days a week to help them with childcare. There’s been no mention of paying me for this being a regular thing. I could be being a bit childish myself but I’m still blocked on their social media but I’m useful to look after their dd.

During my pregnancy they never once asked how I was, when my due date was or anything about it. I don’t expect to be the centre of attention but found it strange that they never asked me or DH anything about pregnancy.

Aibu and a bit childish to tell them to find their own childcare as I have a three year old and newborn?

Don't bother pussy footing around with excuses.

Wouldn't matter if you had a brilliant relationship with them still.

If you don't want to do childcare for two days a week-just say no!

The fuck no.

God no you are not being unreasonable. I wouldn’t even do this for a close friend or relative. What a huge ask when you have a newborn to look after! Let alone for someone who has blocked you on fb. I hope you tell the cheeky fuckers where to go!

I don't think you should be polite. If they have pretty much ignored you, blocked you on social media and then turned around and asked you for free child care out if the blue, then they are monumentally CFs and ought to be told.

I would be candid in my response: "sorry but you have not contacted me once during my pregnancy, continue to block me on SM yet expect free childcare when I have a newborn. No can do".

That's what I would say.

OMG, what cheeky fuckers. Tell them to do one.

Unless you would like to do it and some extra money would be helpful.

I imagine they won't want to actually pay though.

So you have a baby of 3 weeks old give or take and she wants you to mind their dd?

hahhahahahahahahah

She is having a laugh! Send back an edited version of MrsHathaway's post:

"It would be lovely for the cousins to get together more often, but I won't be able to take on regular childcare as I'm already run off my feet with these two haha!, hope you are all well."

I'd reply succinctly with just 'Haha, very funny!'

As with all the CF requests, the perfect reply is actually: "Lol."

"No, that won't be possible".

No need for a reason.

"Sorry, no, that doesn't work for me. And thank you so much for asking after me and your new niece/nephew, we're both doing well. Oh wait ...."

If that doesn't do it, tell her to fuck off.

And your DH had better be firm in backing you, sister or no sister. What a piece of work she is.

'Oh gawd could you imagine!!! I'm already wondering how I'm going to manage this summer with a toddler and a newborn! Mind you maybe that would make you finally unblock me on Facebook eh? I'd be posting pictures of them all over the shop let me tell you - hahaha only joking - or am I???'

Hell. To. The. Fuck. No.

Do they ignore your DH as well? Tell them no and tell him to say no as well.

Not unreasonable at all. They're being unreasonable CFs expecting you to take on additional childcare to save them some money! Just say no, you won't be able to do it.

No! Fgs say No, it's not convenient. Sorry OP but the DH sister sounds like a hard nosed user. You'll get no thanks, no payment and probably extended hours if you agree. You'll sadly have a poorer life for it.
My own adult sister is a user. It hurts and it's not deserving but I've learnt to keep at arms length.
Care of babies and young ones requires reciprocity and reward.....not users.

Cheeky Bastards is the term you're looking for... the answer is NO

She should be offering to take your three year old off your hands to give you time to rest. Who asks for the mother of a newborn to look after their kids? Someone horrid.

Why would anyone dream of thinking that a mum of a newborn (let alone her toddler sister too) would want to take on someone else's kids as well, two days a week??

I hate people.

OP, don't you dare feel guilty or let them talk you into doing anything. Even without the row/their Instaflounce, it's incredibly self-centred of them to ask you to do this. It's just bollocks.

Btw.....why do you give a toss about FB. You'll be so rushed off your feet very soon, you'll not have time for that!

How did they make the request? Decline it, whatever you do. I wouldn’t get into the Facebook or lack of contact, it’s a no whatever.

Please reassure us all that it will be a big full fat NO! All posters are insensed at the bare faced cheek. I'm sorry to say, it wont be because you are the preferred aunty carer. It will undoubtedly be cash motivated.

What! That is a crazy suggestion!! Just say no. That you are going on maternity leave to bond with your child.

Even if it was a close friend I’d have to say sorry, I have absolutely no idea how I get through the day with my two at the moment, I already live for the moment dh steps through the door each evening, you couldn’t pay me to take on another child regularly.

What Poptart said.

Cheeky gits. Did they offer to take your older child 2 days a week while you worked ? No.
Say no, But don’t offer to do it in an emergency as you’ll find there is one every week.