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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she could have scraped it off?

254 replies

ChewbaccasMate · 07/05/2018 17:46

Hello. I'm willing to be told I'm unreasonable but....
We had a celebration and paid for a meal for around 20 family members. It was pre order menu. One guest ordered a meal plain ie no sauce. This order wasn't communicated as I had that many people to sort I forgot to tell the restaurant. It comes to meal and she refused to eat it and wouldn't scrape the sauce off and instead ordered another meal at a cost of 11 quid to us. Aibu to think just scrape the bloody sauce off and eat it without causing a scene?

OP posts:
DiegoMadonna · 07/05/2018 20:09

What is evident? That OP knows that someone at her table in a restaurant asked for a meal to be changed? Wow, what a scene that must have been.

DiegoMadonna · 07/05/2018 20:10

Maybe OP was sat very close to the guest. Maybe she was right next to her.

But when faced with an absence of facts, hyperbole is always the most fun!

Lweji · 07/05/2018 20:12

A party of 20 it not that big. Even if all the tables are in a row.
I was in one yesterday and it's not difficult to spot things, particularly if you're the host and likely to sit more or less at the middle of the table.

Besides, it's easy for the paying host to spot there's an extra meal in the final bill and then ask what happened.

longestlurkerever · 07/05/2018 20:14

The OP said herself that the guest caused a scene. Other posters (who presumably weren't there either) have rewritten this to mean discretely asking a waiter for a replacement (sidestepping the fact they ended up with a different dish and a replacement first dish).

Andylion · 07/05/2018 20:15

OP, is it possible the guest thought that it was the restaurant's mistake and that you wouldn't be charged for it?

Gah81 · 07/05/2018 20:17

Yes, the OP said "caused a scene" but OP seems irritated at the entire situation and there is such a thing as an 'unreliable narrator' (as indeed we all have a tendency to be when narrating something from our own life).

Lweji · 07/05/2018 20:21

Apparently refusing to scrape the cheese off is causing a scene.

How did the plain version come about? Who ordered it? It looks like someone got confused.

DiegoMadonna · 07/05/2018 20:21

Also, I've read so many threads on here of people complaining about somebody "causing a scene" in a restaurant when what actually happened was totally innocuous, that I always take it with a pinch of salt. Some people have a very loose definition of the expression.

Ontheboardwalk · 07/05/2018 20:23

I love cheese but cooked and melted cheese makes me feel ill. I don’t know why but I avoid it all costs.

I am surprised that for a table of 20 having food and one would assume many drinks to wash the food down with would charge for a replacement meal. Did your guest know they were bringing a replacement?

TrashPanda · 07/05/2018 20:25

I always ask for pudding to come with no cream, ice cream or custard. I am not allergic or intolerant but I can't stand the taste/texture of those things. I wouldn't be able to eat it. For a pudding I would probably just leave it but if it was my main meal and I hadn't eaten anything else then I would send it back and ask for an alternative/replacement. If the restaurant was at fault as the order was communicated but they hadn't done it I wouldn't expect to pay again. If I hadn't ordered correctly I would suck up paying twice. In this instance you are at fault as the order was communicated to you correctly but you didn't pass that on to the restaurant.

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 20:28

If the fussy guest was able to select and presumably eat an entirely different meal from the menu what was stopping her from just ordering that meal in the first place without the need to ask the OP to ask the restaurant to make changes for her.

I get the impression from the tone of the OP's post that this guest perhaps has 'form' for this kind of thing.

I think it would constitute a scene to have someone refuse the meal that came out by stating that they ordered it without cheese and without waiting to see if the kitchen could accommodate that, went ahead and ordered a totally different meal and then refused the original choice a second time when the kitchen did accommodate her. In a small group of 20 all this to-ing and fro-ing would not have gone unnoticed by the other guests

IWouldLikeToKnow · 07/05/2018 20:34

OP, I'd be mortified if I ordered the incorrect meal for a guest. It's not your guest's fault, it's yours. You should be the one to take the hit ion the £11. Which is a tiny amount when paying for 20 guests

Teggun · 07/05/2018 20:48

Pre ordering meals for 20 people is not an immense task. If every other person chose their meal as specified on the menu, then that meant simply remembering one additional request "xxxx without cheese" which presumably you wrote down when this guest requested their choice.

Maybe the guest made too much of the mistake I don't know. But you asked whether she should have just 'scraped it off' and I don't think she should have. It was your error and as the host I would have expected you to take charge of rectifying the situation.

sparklefarts · 07/05/2018 20:48

YABU....And very annoying with the vague drip feeds.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/05/2018 20:56

If the fussy guest was able to select and presumably eat an entirely different meal from the menu what was stopping her from just ordering that meal in the first place without the need to ask the OP to ask the restaurant to make changes for her.

The original meal was from a set menu, the replacement meal was from the main menu.

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 21:00

where does it say that Mother?

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/05/2018 21:08

It was pre order menu.

Preorder menus are always set menus.

instead ordered another meal at a cost of 11 quid to us

Ordering another meal in the day means it's not a meal from the preorder menu as it's not a preorder.

Teggun · 07/05/2018 21:17

The pre order requirement may simply be to speed up the process in the restaurant.
But either way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with ordering a dish and making a straightforward request like "no cheese
I can't for the life of me see why this seems such a big deal to you Unreasonably

KTheGrey · 07/05/2018 21:23

Well she sounds a proper funsponge, OP. She got her meal replated without the sauce and still ordered something else? Nopity nope no. I hope you get a very gushy thank you note - but I'll have you a tenner you don't.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/05/2018 21:31

She ordered something else and later in the meal the staff brought out a plain version of the original meal after she already had the replacement. She sent the plain version of the original one back because why would she need two?

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/05/2018 21:31

the meal was brought back plain but she had already ordered a fresh meal

marymoosmum · 07/05/2018 21:38

YABU even if she "scraped" it off the sauce flavour etc would still be on the meat. You should have told the restaurant it was your mistake.

CoffeeIsNotEnough · 07/05/2018 21:47

Definitely your fault OP. You failed to communicate your guest's request to the restaurant.
How is it treating someone of you expect them to eat food they dislike or makes them unwell?
It's not 'making a scene' to order a new meal.

TheAntiBoop · 07/05/2018 21:55

Why did the restaurant make a plain version if they had already taken an order for a replacement?

Sounds like a cock up all round

IMissGin · 07/05/2018 22:02

I hate cheese. If I’d ordered it specifically without and it came with I would’ve been mortified. I hate causing a scene. Cheese on hot food does not completely scrape off and leaves a flavour. I’d have ordered a fresh meal too- you should’ve paid, your mistake

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