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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she could have scraped it off?

254 replies

ChewbaccasMate · 07/05/2018 17:46

Hello. I'm willing to be told I'm unreasonable but....
We had a celebration and paid for a meal for around 20 family members. It was pre order menu. One guest ordered a meal plain ie no sauce. This order wasn't communicated as I had that many people to sort I forgot to tell the restaurant. It comes to meal and she refused to eat it and wouldn't scrape the sauce off and instead ordered another meal at a cost of 11 quid to us. Aibu to think just scrape the bloody sauce off and eat it without causing a scene?

OP posts:
LostInShoebiz · 07/05/2018 18:01

Your fault entirely so YABU.

bridgetreilly · 07/05/2018 18:01

I think it's a bit odd that they let her order a new meal AND brought the meal back as she wanted it. However, she is not unreasonable to want the meal the way she ordered it and you failed to communicate it. And definitely you should pay.

LovingLola · 07/05/2018 18:01

Aibu to think just scrape the bloody sauce off and eat it without causing a scene?
Yes. You are being completely unreasonable.

Magicstar1 · 07/05/2018 18:01

My DH hates cheese, and he couldn’t stomach it even scraped off.

LagunaBubbles · 07/05/2018 18:02

Was she being fussy or does she have a genuine health concern that meant she had to avoid the sauce?

People don't have to like all the same foods, I don't see how not liking cheese and asking not to have it on her meal makes someone "fussy." I wouldnt have been able to eat it either, scraped off or not.

ReanimatedMuse · 07/05/2018 18:03

You made a mistake so should bear the cost I'm afraid. Although if I was her I'd have offered to reimburse (to which, out of politeness you would of course decline)

Lindy2 · 07/05/2018 18:04

It sounds like she made a bit of a fuss to me if it could easily have been removed. Next time leave her to sort her own meal. It sounds to me like you had enough to do with sorting a meal for 20 people without one making you buy an extra meal too.

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 18:04

I think the guest was rude UNLESS she has a genuine allergy.
You invited her to a meal and gave her a choice from a menu. She should have simply made a choice from that menu. Not asked you to faff about making special arrangements for her when you are hosting 20 people and presumably sorting out other arrangements if it was a celebration.

I would not dream of making that kind of a request, again unless it was a genuine allergy and there was NOTHING else on the given menu I could eat.

And she certainly should NOT have cost you an extra £11 for a new meal again unless it was a genuine allergy.

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 18:05

So if you hate cheese and you have a menu presented that someone else is paying for just pick something that doesn't have cheese!

lalalalee · 07/05/2018 18:06

So you had to pay an extra 50p each so that the guest would enjoy her meal? What's the issue?

RavenLG · 07/05/2018 18:07

If she hasn’t have told you she wanted her meal without cheese then fair enough, but she had told you she wanted it sans cheese. You forgot to tell the staff at the restaurant so it’s your fault.
YABU

viques · 07/05/2018 18:07

Why did you put the cost onto the other people eating the meal? It was your mistake, you should have taken the hit for the £11.

ChocolateTea · 07/05/2018 18:08

Chicken wrapped in cheese and bacon is very different to chicken for instance, and you couldn't just "scrape it off"

You fault for not relaying the instructions to the restaurant. If you weren't willing to ask for adjustments to be made when placing the orders you should have been specific to the orderer at the time

Yabu

nonbikerchick · 07/05/2018 18:08

Yuck!

If she ordered it without sauce then she didn't want the sauce!!!

Your mistake you had to foot the bill.

OreoMini · 07/05/2018 18:08

the guest was not rude! She asked for 1 altercation to the meal. The op accepted this and she forgot to Relay the message! It’s her own fault.

I wouldn’t of ate it as that’s not what I asked for. Don’t invite someone to a meal and say yes to making a change and then moan when you forget!

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 18:09

But why should the host have to take this level of fussiness into consideration at the event she is hosting?

Why could the guest not have been gracious, appreciated the fact that she had been invited to a meal that someone else was organising AND paying for and selected something from the menu WITHOUT cheese! I find the guest to be rude in this case

nonbikerchick · 07/05/2018 18:10

Just read it was cheese. That's worse. The fat oozes into the whole dish and makes it unpalatable. I don't eat cheese and would not just scrape it off. You're in the wrong.

mither · 07/05/2018 18:10

Asking for no cheese is hardly a high level of fussiness Confused

NoCanoe · 07/05/2018 18:11

Id have chosen something from the options that meant no one had to inform the restaurant anything- unless we talking allergy/intolerance and it had to be communicated as nothing obviously suitable/safe.

NoCanoe · 07/05/2018 18:13

But.....at end of day. Your oversight in the scheme of things.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/05/2018 18:14

So if you hate cheese and you have a menu presented that someone else is paying for just pick something that doesn't have cheese!

And if all of the other dishes are unsuitable so that is the only dish, minus cheese, that you can/will eat? For example, the other dishes contain items that give you heartburn or are contrary to an eating plan/diet you're following or that your allergic to. So the only realistic option is this dish but without the cheese.

Dobbythesockelf · 07/05/2018 18:14

You made the mistake she had already told you her meal albeit with changes. Too much cheese can set my ibs off so I avoid it especially if I am out. Not many people know about this so I'm sure I would be seen as fussy etc in this situation. Do you know exactly why she wanted it without Cheese? Or are you just presuming that because she isn't allergic that it's just pure fussiness.

OreoMini · 07/05/2018 18:14

This level of fussiness ? It was ONE altercation. No cheese.

She’s not asking for jacket instead of chips, peas instead of beans, no cheese, extra mayo on the side. That’s fussy!

Either way the OP said she would ask and forgot so it’s her fault. I would not eat a meal with something on it I didn’t like especially if I already asked for the altercation to my meal.

MumoftheBoyandtheGirl · 07/05/2018 18:15

I’m allergic to cheese and if I’d said I can’t have it, and was given it I wouldn’t have been able to just scrape it off 🙁

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 18:15

I think it IS fussy if there are other options on the menu without cheese.
It is entirely different if a group go out for a meal and just order there and then and the person asks the waiting staff for no cheese and then pays for it themselves.

It is a different situation to inviting someone to a celebratory meal, providing a choice of dishes, paying for it and then one person doesn't want cheese but had the option to order a non cheese including meal. I still find that person rude.

What if every one of the 20 guests had a request to change the dish on the menu?

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