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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she could have scraped it off?

254 replies

ChewbaccasMate · 07/05/2018 17:46

Hello. I'm willing to be told I'm unreasonable but....
We had a celebration and paid for a meal for around 20 family members. It was pre order menu. One guest ordered a meal plain ie no sauce. This order wasn't communicated as I had that many people to sort I forgot to tell the restaurant. It comes to meal and she refused to eat it and wouldn't scrape the sauce off and instead ordered another meal at a cost of 11 quid to us. Aibu to think just scrape the bloody sauce off and eat it without causing a scene?

OP posts:
NoCanoe · 07/05/2018 18:31

I got the imoression the hosts paid the extra £11 too...
Am I wrong?

LockedOutOfMN · 07/05/2018 18:32

It is your fault as you forgot to tell the restaurant when the guest asked you to order her a plain meal.

You would not have been unreasonable to ask her to contact the restaurant directly and you should at the very least have told her that you didn't pass on her order to the restaurant.

NoCanoe · 07/05/2018 18:33

Clearly I need a 'P'.....Wink
IMPRESSION!!

TomHardyswife · 07/05/2018 18:34

YABU

My Dad isn't dairy intolerant but absolutely cannot stand cheese to the point he would gag at the slight sight and smell of it. It's such a strong flavour and in some cheeses, smell, to accept the dish with the cheese just scraped off is not acceptable when you gave her the option of the dish minus cheese and promised her you would sort it for her.

ButchyRestingFace · 07/05/2018 18:34

In my opinion is it NOT good manners to ask a host to make changes to a planned menu for you unless you have a medical reason to.

There is nothing on the face of this earth that could induce me to swallow a mouthful of goat's cheese, mutton or anything quorn-y.

So if any of those were served to me, I'm afraid I would be left sitting with a full plate, which is potentially going to cause more of a ruckus than pre-ordering a different dish.

Or just not go attend the celebration.

On balance, I think being able to choose a meal you can eat is the lesser evil.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/05/2018 18:35

LuckyMummy I have aversions to specific foods since having HG. I can't stand any taste, texture, or smell that reminds me of it.

tolerable · 07/05/2018 18:37

no-i got into serious trouble once cos a dinnerlady expected my ds1 to scrape of the cheese cos she didnt seem to translate "plain".scraped off-just no.yuk.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 07/05/2018 18:38

TBH if the guest was able to cope with just scraping it off they most likely wouldn't have gone to the effort of asking for it without.

SquatDiddly · 07/05/2018 18:38

YABVU. She ordered a plain dish, you didn't tell the restaurant. It's your fault, not hers.

ilovepixie · 07/05/2018 18:42

I hate mayo and mayo based foods so if my meal came covered in it I couldn't scrape it off as I would still taste it. My mum is a very plain eater and couldn't eat any sauce either. Why should she eat something she doesn't like just because you forgot to pass the message on

AnnieAnoniMouser · 07/05/2018 18:44

You are being unreasonable. You screwed up, it cost you £11 to fix it.

What’s £11 on top of paying for 20 meals? It’s really not worth making such a fuss over £11. If it’s the most expensive mistake you make this year, count yourself lucky.

BakedBeans47 · 07/05/2018 18:44

When you say the meal was brought back plain was it effectively redone in the way she’d asked for in the first place?

If so, then YANBU and she’s a cheeky moo.

If not then I suppose she wasn’t BU if it was tainted with something she couldn’t/wouldn’t eat but I must admit in your shoes I’d also be rolling my eyes and thinking that she sounded like a pain in the arse.

Turquoise123 · 07/05/2018 18:45

Wow - some surprising responses here.

It would not occur to me to make such a fuss when it's an event where I am not paying. Worst comes to the worst you just miss out part of a meal - and really , so what ?

It's clearly ruined the event for you - what a shame when you were being so generous.
I suspect that you won't do something like this again so they have all missed out.

DDIJ · 07/05/2018 18:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Glumglowworm · 07/05/2018 18:46

YABU

It was your mistake, and £11 is hardly the end of the world. If you’re buying dinner for all your guests it’s a very small portion of your budget for the meal.

DiegoMadonna · 07/05/2018 18:47

Did she "make a scene", or did she just ask for another meal without the cheese.

I ask because I know some people think that saying anything other than "one beef wellington and glass of red wine please" to the staff in a restaurant is "causing a scene".

TerfinUSA · 07/05/2018 18:48

£11 is quite cheap, where was this, McDonalds?

LakieLady · 07/05/2018 18:49

My DH hates cheese, and he couldn’t stomach it even scraped off.

I have a friend like that, cheese actually makes her gag.

Xmasbaby11 · 07/05/2018 18:49

Yabu. It was your mistake and 11 quid is hardly a fortune. The guest did nothing wrong.

There are several cheeses I really dislike and my dish would be ruined if it was covered in it.

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/05/2018 18:51

I am still incredulous at some of the entitled responses on here - it's making me laugh!

How on earth do some of you ever go to other people's houses to eat - do you request to see the menu beforehand and demand the host to make changes to accommodate you?

What about weddings? Do you ask the bride to make changes to her menu?

It is truly eye opening!!

TheFairyCaravan · 07/05/2018 18:51

I don’t eat cheese because it gives me migraines. I wouldn’t have scrapped it off and eaten and I’d have been pissed off if anyone had tried to make me feel uncomfortable or like I was at fault in any way.

It was your fuck up not her’s.

barefeetorsocks · 07/05/2018 18:51

Well I think she was rude. Provided she's not allergic to cheese or a vegan then she should've scraped it off or just eaten the veg. She could've filled up on bread, a starter and a pudding.
IMO it's poor manners to reorder at someone else's expense in that situation.

We went to some newish friends for supper and were given oysters as a treat, I really can't stand them but forced a couple down.

I'd have been hacked off too Op.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/05/2018 18:52

*scraped even. Blush

Lweji · 07/05/2018 18:52

As it was your mistake, you should have asked for a replacement.

MyNameIsNotSteven · 07/05/2018 18:53

It depends op. Was it a pungent cheese or something inoccuous? Was it sprinkled / melted over or a block? Is she vegan or omnivore?

Any of those might alter the general view but in any case it was your fault so I don't know why you feel the need to ask.

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