And if I did do this, how could I make it work best for my guests? Sorry if this is long, want to get everything in. And I am a long term poster but have name changed for this as a known MNetter in real life.
I know MN loves a wedding thread and I have no desire to be a bridezilla or a CF. I want everyone to enjoy our wedding and not feel stressed or put out, so throwing this one to the lions before any steadfast plans are made. My DSis is also marrying next year so conscious of not booking anything too close to hers as we are lucky to have a great big lovely family who all get on, so don’t want people travelling around the country too much too close together.
The reason I’m considering this is I would like to marry in my church, where I am an active member and part of the community. Church is walking distance from home, and very much a ‘home’ church. I would love that feeling of getting married in a church I’ll be back to every week and is part of me. They are also perfectly comfortable with my DP not being a Christian and happy to marry us there despite this. DP is happy to marry in church because he knows how important it is to me, and the important thing for him is saying his vows not where he says them.
We have always talked about having our reception at his parents, they own loads of land and we can have the run of fields. I never pictured my wedding in a posh hotel or stately home, I want outside and tents and a very chilled atmosphere. People could pitch tents overnight if they wanted, it’ll be so easy for the many children who will be invited as there’s so much space to play. We’ve talked about hiring some soft play equipment and maybe a bouncy castle, things we couldn’t easily do in another venue.
But DPILs are 40 minutes drive from our home and church. I’d love to have both the church I want and the reception we want, but wonder if it will just be a giant faff for everyone. I’m thinking about how I could make it as easy as possible, probably hire some buses from the church to the reception so guests don’t have to worry about that transport. The vast majority of guests will be from around home/near church area, so could get a cab/bus/lift to church for the ceremony, would be taken to the reception and then could go from there home to a hotel or home. I’m not sure we could arrange transport home as well, but maybe to the closest hotel. Drivers could drive between.
The space means we can invite everyone we want - see aforementioned big, lovely family, as well as many friends - a conservative first draft list is at 130/140 people including all the children, though of course aware not all would be able to make it. We don’t want to have evening only invites, everyone will be invited to the whole day, but would be happy for people to just come to the ceremony or reception if that was easier for them. There will be more than enough food and drink for everyone, we want to be good hosts.
Fully ready to be told this is unreasonable, in which case I will probably explore churches close to DPILs to find one that would fit. For me God would be in any church, although I would prefer my own. It’s within the same diocese so my vicar might be able to make a case for me not going to another church for weeks beforehand, though would probably need to be there a few weeks as a bans are read. I have also looked at options for receptions close to my church but there’s nothing that feels right that would be within our budget - my church doesn’t have a church hall or any land around it to pitch a marquee.
Would really welcome people’s thoughts, how could I make this work for you as my guest? Or can I not? What should I be thinking about that I might have forgotten? The most important thing is us getting married, not the wedding, but would love to be able to really celebrate it as well.
Thanks for getting this far.