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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people 'don't drive'

974 replies

ZX81user · 06/05/2018 13:07

..medical conditions aside.It is such a useful life skill.
I think it is part of a parent's responsibility to get their teen througj their test.

OP posts:

EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/05/2018 08:49

Oh, WOW, Figment. And it's pretty affordable too.

ISaySteadyOn · 09/05/2018 10:35

Figment, that looks amazing!

user1485342611 · 09/05/2018 12:24

There are some non drivers who live centrally, are able to use public transport most of the time, cheerfully turn down offers of lifts that will take people out of their way and don't impact negatively on anyone. They're fine.

There are some non drivers who constantly expect others to chauffeur them around, expect all social meet ups to revolve around the very limited number of places they can easily get to, are of absolutely no use to siblings vis a vis transporting elderly parents, popping over to see them when another sibling isn't free etc, and will always accept a lift even when they know quite well it is bringing a driver considerably out of their way. They're a pain in the arse.

EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/05/2018 12:32

I think "some" is the operative word there though, user. You wouldn't like me saying that drivers are less fit than non-drivers because we get more exercise.

My parents haven't reached that stage yet but when my grandmother needed care, the non-drivers were in there right along with the drivers. It just meant that if we needed to take her somewhere we got a taxi.

Borisdaspide · 09/05/2018 12:39

I'm not going to be helping elderly relatives (at least, not regularly) because I live 200 miles away from any of them. Is that a better or worse reason that not being able to drive? It doesn't put any less of a burden on any of my siblings.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 09/05/2018 12:46

Again, we have inconvenience to drivers rather than damaging the health of others and the environment posited as the central issue here. The level of entitlement from some drivers is astonishing.

ParisUSM · 09/05/2018 12:49

Yes, the drivers in my family drove my elderly parents to appointments. I jumped a taxi with them. I more than did my share when it comes to care and a lack of driving licence made no difference, really ridiculous level of argument on here now.

It is interesting that health and the environment are dismissed as relevant reasons not to drive.

Ohmydayslove · 09/05/2018 12:54

Can I add just read the camping posts. if I had to camp to keep my car I would set my car on fire. Only camped once. Pure utter hell. Vile.

shrunkenhead · 09/05/2018 12:54

I don't drive, as we only have one car. So I ensure my work is local and within walking distance or can catch a bus.
I don't want the stress of driving and I know it's better for everyone if I'm not on the road! Even if I did buy a car is only be using it within a 5 mile radius so quite pointless really!

BitchQueen90 · 09/05/2018 14:12

My parents aren't elderly. They're late 40s and brilliant health. My grandad is 75 and also in brilliant health, he lives alone and still drives.

Even when my parents do get old I very much doubt they'll expect me to take them to places. If they're anything like my grandad they won't need me to and I could always go with them in a taxi if necessary.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 09/05/2018 14:37

Maybe the reason some of us don't pay for our teens driving lessons is because it is pointless as they can't afford to buy a car and the extortionate insurance.Unless you expect parents to pay that too including petrol until they get a job and can afford this themselves,and pay for them through uni.
Some people live on a different planet.

CuntinuousMingeprovement · 09/05/2018 14:40

Yeah I don't know where this assumption that we all have elderly parents comes from. Mine are nowhere near. Grandparents, yes.

Sweatymoose · 09/05/2018 14:48

I can drive (not legally) but I absolutely hate it and never bothered with a test after my lessons in my early 20s. I walk to work (20 mins) and DS's school is on the way. I also never had parents to teach me to drive or pay for lessons/a first car as most people my age did.

I am a very nervous driver and it's safer for me not to be on the road. It's healthier for me and more ecological to walk. Of course there are occasions where having a car would be a massive help, but I can use public transport or DP.

BitchQueen90 · 09/05/2018 14:49

I made my parents grandparents when they were 44 and 40.

NotACleverName · 09/05/2018 14:50

*From what I can see on this thread, there are an awful lot of people who don't need a car, coz they live in LONDON. hmm

Not everyone lives there ya know. (Nor would I want to live there!)*

I live in Greater Manchester and don’t need to drive. Managed to survive 32 years not needing to drive (or 15 if that’s the way you wanna look at it).

As for “strength of character”... what a load of unmitigated bullshit.

BeyondThePage · 09/05/2018 15:20

I'm in Gloucestershire and don't need to drive either. On the edge of a large town with the most expensive parking and circuitous one way system invented, on bus route to the city. We have decent public transport and not owning a car frees up a lot of money for things in addition to transport too.

The only time I REALLY missed having a car was when I took a taxi (£40 round trip) to drop off DD for a school residential at 2.30am.

Slanetylor · 09/05/2018 15:23

I live over 200 miles from my elderly aunt. Of course I drive up to help her out once a month. Why wouldn’t i.

IdentifiesAsMiddleAged · 09/05/2018 16:17

user

That's so obvious (ie some people are a pain in the arse) as to be

no offence - not really be worth saying

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/05/2018 16:35

If I were to be interviewing someone for a job, and they were pretty much equal in every way, with the same qualifications, similar work experience, similar personality etc, but one could drive and the other couldn't; the one who could drive would be the one I would pick. Basically because being able to drive shows a strength of character and determination, because it's not easy to do.

It's so tragic that in this modern age, getting a driving licence is the only opportunity anyone ever has to show their strength of character and determination.

Good grief, do you not realise that your post makes it sound as if you've personally never achieved anything more notable than passing your driving test?

SporadicSpartacus · 09/05/2018 17:05

Regarding the job interview thing - do that to me and you’ve got a reasonably well evidenced case of disability discrimination. As the thread has shown, there are plenty of valid reasons not to be able to drive, and few of them are due to a lack of grit, gumption and strong character.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 09/05/2018 17:34

Regarding the job interview thing - do that to me and you’ve got a reasonably well evidenced case of disability discrimination.

I doubt you're the only one. A hell of a lot of non-drivers are such either due to diagnosed disabilities or due to undiagnosed disabilities, e.g. dyspraxia. (I mean, you don't need to have seen a professional to have noticed you have issues.)

It's also a great way to avoid employing people from poorer backgrounds who couldn't afford driving lessons in their teens.

bananafish81 · 09/05/2018 17:35

I live over 200 miles from my elderly aunt. Of course I drive up to help her out once a month. Why wouldn’t i.

Well your relationship with your family members is surely unrelated to your mode of transport. How is it different to drive 200 miles once a month to see an elderly aunt than to take a train 200 miles to see an elderly aunt? Lots of people don't travel across the country to see distant family members every month, most of whom are drivers. Not sure how the driving bit is relevant?

Slanetylor · 09/05/2018 17:40

It was a response to someone who didn’t visit elderly parents as it was 200 miles away. I don’t see that as a barrier.

LittleMissCwtch · 09/05/2018 17:41

I can technically drive as I have a license but I’m autistic and have terrible anxiety and coordination. I passed on my 5th attempt and only because of anti anxiety meds. I only learnt to drive because my controlling abusive ex made me, I never really drove though because of my nerves.

I still have nightmares about driving now (I took my test 16 years ago)

I would never ask anyone for a lift and will use public transport, and if people do give me a lift I’m extremely grateful and will show my appreciation.

It would be much easier if I could drive, but unfortunately it’s just not for me

Figmentofmyimagination · 09/05/2018 17:49

empress and isay yes it looks fab doesn't it. I've stayed in a few landmarks, most recently a tiny isolated cottage (ty coch) in the middle of a forest (surrounded by rare breed sheep), 20 mins walk along a beaten track from the nearest car spot. You could easily walk to that one from betws y coed station, if you were prepared to make the walk part of the adventure and travel quite light. I loved it. We all did. Lots of games and reading though, as no TV in any landmark property, and no broadband signal.

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